


Hodnes Laik uf - Love is strength

by Missbiddle



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clexa, F/F, Romance, Survival, Suspense, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-20 13:24:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3651966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missbiddle/pseuds/Missbiddle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 100, Clexa. Set after the season 2 finale. Clarke has left Camp Jaha, Lexa is heading back to Polis. An unexpected enemy attempts to repeat history bringing the 2 leaders back together in a race against time to save an important life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there. I have previously written fics on FanFiction.net but much prefer here. This is my first The 100/Clexa fic. I hope you enjoy it and contact me if you have any questions! missbiddle xx

Clarke stumbled through the trees, her hand resting solidly on the gun at her waist. She was tired, physically and mentally. Images of burnt and melted faces, of children, adults, elderly, kept invading her mind. Clarke supressed a sob and roughly wiped at her nose and eyes as tears threatened once again to escape. The metal of her glove scraped her nose and she finally let out a sob of frustration and leant against the nearest tree.

“ _Maybe there are no good guys.”_ Clarkes mom, Abby had said. The blonde took a few shuddering breaths and straightened up again. Lexa had been right all along. Victory was built on the back of sacrifice, and now Clarke knew exactly how the grounder leader felt. But she wasn’t ready to forgive her, just as she wasn’t ready to face the idea of being near or with anyone. It had only been 2 days since she left the camp. Clarke began trudging again, aimlessly wandering, unsure of where her feet were taking her. A small timid smile broke her face as she stepped into a small clearing with a trickling pond and she gratefully knelt beside it taking the water into her hands, not caring about the fact that her gloves were getting wet.

“Yo Trigedaku gona (are you tree crew warrior)? Or yo Skaikru (or sky crew)?” Clarke whipped around at the sound of the heavily accented grounder words, fumbling for her gun. A grounder warrior sat rigidly upon a two-faced white horse. She wore heavy furs, lighter in colour than the normal grounder armours and outfits. The grounders eyes took in the gun in her hand, and a small smirk lifted the corner of her mouth. “Skaikru.” She snarled, jumping off the horse and landing lightly but stumbled just slightly. Clarke shook her head slightly, frowning.

“I’m neither Skaikru, nor Trikru (tree crew). And I’m sorry; I don’t speak your language.” Clarke said in a strong voice, not allowing her voice to waver. The grounder looked at her curiously and walked toward Clarke with her head held high. As she got closer, Clarke noticed the dark bags under her eyes and the slight limp and jerky walk. The grounder had dried blood in her dirty blonde hair and a dark look in her eyes. She stopped in front Clarke, her hand resting on the knife on her belt.

“Are you Mountain Men then?” She hissed, and Clarke realised why the woman was familiar.

“You were one of the grounders we rescued?” The blonde asked, her fear subsiding. She had seen her coming out of the Mount Weather door when Lexa… Clarke shook her head and held out her hand with a small smile, reminiscent of her first meeting with Anya. The grounder glared at her hand, her eyes slowly raking up Clarke’s attire and settling on her shoulder plate, an intrigued expression on her face.

“You say you are not Trikru, and yet you wear grounder clothing and a sub-commanders shoulder.” Clarke looked at her shoulder in confusion, remembering that Lexa had given her clothing for the war. She glanced back at the grounder who had stepped closer, causing Clarke to stumble backwards into a tree. “You say you are not Skaikru, and yet you do not speak our language. You claim to have saved my people from the Mountain, so you cannot be one of them.” She said, lifting her knife up to Clarkes throat. “Bellamy mentioned one of his people working alongside Commander Lexa.” Clarke clenched her teeth as the knife cut into her slightly, her grip on her gun tight enough to make her knuckles go white.

“If you know Bellamy then we are allies, so you don’t need to do this.” Clarke spat out, glaring at the grounder in front of her, who laughed cruelly in her face.

“I am no ally of Trikru or Skaikru. Commander Lexa made sure of that. My name is Echo. And you must have information on Lexa, you are hers are you not?” Clarke blinked in surprised, a pit forming in her stomach and realisation dawned on her. The light colours of the grounders gear, the disdain toward Lexa and the more heavily accented speech.

“You are from the Ice Nation?” Clarke said, hoping she was wrong. Echo grinned, her eyes dark.

“Yes, clever sky girl. You know, you remind me of her”. Clarke frowned, swallowing as the knife traced her neck.

“Remind you of whom? Lexa?” Echo laughed coldly.

“No, Costia.” Clarke felt a wave of cold run through her body, then anger.

“Costia? Are you telling me that you are the Ice Nation’s queen? You're the one that tortured Costia and cut off her head?!” Clarke said, her voice rising in anger. She could still see the pain in Lexa’s eyes at the mention of her former lover.

“Yes, and it would do you wise to treat me like a queen, starting with respect.” Echo whispered, using the knife to quickly cut along Clarkes armour free shoulder. The blonde yelped slightly, glaring at the grounder, feeling the warmth of the blood running down her arm.

“So what do you want with me?” She spat, her hand that was holding the gun shaking at her side.

“Information on your commander. I am no longer apart of the alliance, but my nation is. Lexa will pay for disallowing me to be a part of that. You shared her tent, you must know information.” Echo spat, dragging the point across Clarkes throat. Clarke clenched her teeth glaring defiantly at the grounder.

“Even if I did know information I wouldn’t tell you.” She growled and lifted her gun slightly, pulling the trigger. Echo screamed as the bullet pierced her foot, stumbling back enough for Clarke to barge her with her shoulder. The grounder, still weak from the bleeding stumbled, falling heavily to the ground, dropping her knife in the process.

“We are not finished, Clarke of the Skaikru.” Echo yelled, struggling to get up as Clarke climbed onto the horse that the grounder had ridden in on. “I know your people. Bellamy trusts me. I warn you now.” She spat, getting to her feet and limping toward Clarke who back trot the horse.

“You can't touch my people. We are in an alliance, and if you so much lay a finger on any of my people, you will be riddled with bullets.” Clarke replied harshly, as she turned the horse around and urged it to run, leaving the laughing grounder behind her. She ducked and dodged trees, keeping her head down. She heard before she felt the arrow cut her arm as it flew past, and she lowered her body on the horse. She could hear grounders yelling behind her.

“I am Clarke of the Skaikru! Do not shoot!” She yelled behind her, not daring to look at the trees. Another arrow flew past and she urged the horse. She couldn’t understand why they were attacking her. She glanced to the side and noticed a familiar path and steered the horse toward it. “Looks like I’m headed to TonDC.” She murmured quietly.

* * *

 

 

Lexa leant back on her throne, one hand spinning her knife against her finger. She barely blinked as she pushed harder, breaking the skin and causing blood to dribble down her hand. She didn’t see it though, all that was in her vision is the look of betrayal, and heart crushing hurt as Lexa turned her back on Clarke. The brunette clenched her jaw and pushed the knife in slightly deeper, her eyes burning.

“Heda Leksa.” A rough voice called startling the leader, causing her to slice her finger open. She glanced up as a guard was standing in the opening of her tent.

“Ah branwada! Do not come in and startle me like that.” She snarled and stood up abruptly, slamming her blade point down in the arm of her throne in anger. “I expect you have important information for disturbing me. I requested no one enter my tent until we reach Polis.” Lexa strode angrily to where a cloth was sitting on a nightstand and roughly wrapped up her bleeding finger, aware of the guards eyes on her back.

“Heda, do you require a healer for that?” He asked, stepping into the tent. Lexa turned around with a glare and shook her head.

“Information, now.” She spat, pouring herself a cup of wine from her jug, avoiding her guards gaze and staring toward the wall of the tent.

“It is in regards to the mountain. Our scouts spotted a group of Skaikru walking through the forest 2 days ago. We believe it was the 44 that were imprisoned.” He said. Lexa’s grip on the cup tightened and she could feel her stomach rising with a mixture of fear and hope. Masking her face she spun around to look at the guard in the face.

“And the mountain?” She asked, green eyes boring into the guards.

“Unsure, Heda. We will send out a spotter when sun rises.” Lexa shook her head, unclenching and clenching her jaw.

“No. If the maunon are still alive that will be a waste.” After taking a large sip of wine, the commander turned her back again to pour more wine in her cup. “Was Clarke of the Skaikru seen in the group?” She asked quietly, trying to stop the waver in her voice.

“Clarke was seen leaving their camp by herself 2 days ago once the Skaikru had gotten inside their walls, and then spotted not long ago with the Ice Nation’s Queen. She was last seen riding toward TonDC. We sent warriors to stop her.” Lexa had stopped listening at the mention of the queen.  She dropped her cup with a loud clang and red wine spilled. She spun to face the guard, her eyes wide.

“Find her. Now. Do not hurt her or I will kill you and anyone else that hurts her.” She hissed. The guard nodded. Lexa slammed her fists onto the table holding the wine. “Bring her to me. Bring them both to me.”

“As you command, Heda Leksa.” Lexa heard the sound of the tent flap opening as the guard left and growled, sweeping her arms across the table, knocking its contents to the ground. Hot tears pricked her eyes and dread pitted in her stomach. _Love is weakness._ This was the rule she lived by, and again, history was repeating itself.

* * *

 

Clarke could smell TonDC before she could see it. It was the rank smell of rotting bodies, and Clarke could feel bile rising in her throat as the horse took her closer to the devastated village, reminding her of the many people she had a hand in killing. Her shoulder began stinging as rain started to fall at her arrival of the crater. She could see bodies lying around and steeled herself as she hopped off the horse, tying it to a tree close by. She slowly walked toward the rubble, covering her mouth with her hand, her stomach churning. The last time she had been here she was rallying the warriors with Lexa to go to war. She felt a pang in her chest, and bit her lip to hold back the tears that were welling in her throat.

"Clarke. What the hell are you doing here?" A rough, but familiar voice made the blonde jump, drawing her gun up. Octavia walked out from behind some rubble, her eyes masked by dark grounder paint. Clarke lowered her gun with a sigh, watching as Lincoln followed his expression unreadable as usual. Clarke lowered her gun, and looked around guiltily.

"I was being chased by the Ice Nation Queen. I need to change into plain grounder clothes." She said quietly. Octavia's eyes widened in disbelief.

"So you kill all these people and have the gall to come back and rob their bodies?" She said, her voice cracking slightly. "I'm surprised you didn’t just run back to Lexa. You two really are a heartless match made in heaven." She spat. The blonde stared back defiantly and shook her head, walking past her former friend.

"I did what I had to do to survive. I did what I had to do to get OUR friends back. YOUR brother." She stated, ignoring the look of fire from her former friend. She walked to the body of a young woman and began stripping her of her gear.

"Keep telling yourself that, princess." Was all Octavia said in reply, and Clarke heard Lincoln murmur something to her. The blonde ignored them, and unclipped her shoulder armor, watching it drop into the ashes, her chest tight with hurt. She began stripping off the remainder of the gear that Lexa had provided for her.

"Clarke!" Lincoln yelled out just as two arrows flew past her. She spun around, raising her gun to the trees. Octavia and Lincoln were already weaving toward the trees where Clarke could see at least three Ice Nation warriors. She quickly pulled on the light grounder gear, and smeared ash in jagged lines around her eyes and some in her hair to darken it slightly. She sprinted toward where her horse was tied up, quickly jumping up onto its back. Glancing back she watched as Octavia and Lincoln cut down the warriors and looked back at her.

“You had better get going, there’s more coming.” Octavia said.

“The alliance between grounder and sky people is void as of Lexa taking the deal.” Lincoln explained. “Any sky people are and will be targets for grounders. Lexa broke the alliance.” Clarke bit her lip, her head reeling. That’s what the queen was laughing about, she realized with a jolt. That meant her people were in danger.

“Clarke, look out!” Octavia yelled and Clarke spun around as a warrior swung his mace into the side of her head. Darkness overcame her vision and she hit the ground with a thud.

* * *

 

Lexa drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair, her mind reeling with worry. She knew Clarke could handle herself, but her stomach churned. She knew what the Azgeda were capable, especially the queen, Echo. She had banished her for that very reason. She could not be in alliance with someone that had tortured and murdered her first love. The rest of the Azgeda were content with that decision, as lower leaders rose in rank. Lexa stood up, pacing to the front opening of her tent and glanced around. She spotted Indra crouched over a dying fire as rain begin pouring down.

“Indra. I need you to help me.” Lexa barked and re-entered her tent.  She began taking off her grounder armor and setting it down on the table. Indra entered, her hand resting on her sword.

“Heda Leksa . What do you need?” Indra inquired, looking quizzically at the commander as she stripped down to basic pants and a grey tank.

“There has been a blatant attack and rebellion from Azgeda warriors. I believe they may be led by Echo. I am going to go and deal with them.” Lexa withheld, tying her dagger and sword around her waist, and ensuring she had no grounder paint on her face in the small mirror next to her throne. She needed to be certain that no one recognized her. Indra looked at her in confusion.

“I will have some guards accompany you, Heda. I cannot allow you to go alone.” Indra turned to leave.

“Hod op!” Lexa commanded. “No one must know of this. It will cause unnecessary unrest. And what Azgedan warriors that we have on our side will most probably rebel. I will find the traitor and bring them in. Jus drein jus daun.” She growled, forgetting her facade. They would pay a hundred deaths for threatening Clarke. Her subordinate nodded slowly.

“And what do you need of me, commander?” She asked. Lexa grabbed a shawl and threw it around her shoulders, covering her noticeable and recognizable tattoos.

“I need you to ensure nobody is aware I am gone. If I do not return within three days, you will declare that the alliance between Trikru and Azgeda is void, and war will once again wage.” She said, ignoring the look on Indras face. “Do not question my decision. Go.” She dismissed and Indra bit her tongue, nodding curtly and leaving abruptly. Lexa slipped out the back of her tent, pulling the shawl over and head to ensure none of her people spotted her face. She hurried over to where her horse was tied, mentally remembering the face of the sleeping stable hand. She would deal with him when she got back. She climbed onto a black horse. “Gyon au.” She hissed at the horse, digging her heels in and angled the horse toward TonDC.

* * *

 

Clarke groggily opened her eyes, vision swirling from the throbbing in her head. She struggled to move her arms, realizing they were tied behind her around a treetrunk. Her vision began clear and she could hear multiple voices, both male and female. She glanced to the side and saw Octavia sitting next to her, her head lulling on her chest.

“O, wake up.” She hissed quietly, glancing around to make sure no one heard her. “O, please wake up.” Octavia groaned a little, her head lolling. Clarke bit her tongue and quickly hung her head when one the guards turned to look at them.

“Looks like the lively one is waking up.” The warriors’ voice was heavily accented, and Clarke glanced up just slightly to see him crouching in front of Octavia and holding her up from under her chin. “Would you like me to slit her throat, my queen?” The warrior asked, drawing a knife from his belt. Clarke held her breath, eyes watering slightly as he put it up to her friends throat. She should stop him, yell at him and get his attention, but Clarke knew. She kept silent, squeezing her eyes shut.

“ _You were willing to let her die 2 days ago. Nothing has changed.”_ Were the words that rattled in Clarkes head.

“No. Leave her be, for now. We will use her as torture when the commanders little sky princess wakes up. For now, I want you to scout the forest. I will watch the prisoners.” Clarke recognized the familiar voice of the queen. She opened her eyes to a squint, watching a pair of boots walk up to her, and stop in front of her. She shut them again, allowing her head to lull. She knew she had to come up with a plan, and fast. “I can’t wait to see that commander of yours pathetically beg.” Clarke clenched her teeth as a searing pain came from her head, and felt Echo tug her head up by the hair. She relaxed her face as best she could. “Sobbing and pleading not to kill her love. You know, she should thank me. I made her the heartless, ruthless commander she is today.” Clarke heard the sound of a knife being unsheathed, and involuntarily gasped in pain, her eyes shooting open as she felt the blade slice into her cheek. She looked straight into Echo’s sunken eyes, the bruising still evident, a grin on her face.

“Ah, I knew you were awake, you little sneak.” Echo hissed, letting go of Clarke’s hair and sheathing her knife as she stood.

“It was better having my eyes shut then looking at you.” Clarke spat out, feeling the warm blood trickling down her face. “What is it exactly that you want from me?” She asked, watching as Echo walked over to Octavia and stood in front of her. Without so much as a blink, Echo swung her foot straight into Octavia’s stomach, eliciting a loud gasp of pain from the girl, which turned into groaning. Clarke growled and tried to lunge at the ice nation queen, feeling the ropes cut into her writs. “Stop this! What you want is obviously from me, so don’t bring them into this!” She shouted hoarsely as another yelp came out of Octavia’s mouth. Clarke could see her regaining consciousness, hunching over as best she could to protect her stomach. Echo walked back to Clarke and leant behind her, untying her from the tree, but keeping her wrists bound and on a rope. Echo stepped back and yanked the rope roughly, causing Clarke to fall on her face and then began to drag her across the ground toward a tree stump in the clearing.

“Clarke! Let her go!” Octavia screamed hoarsely. Echo ignored her, and reached down to grab the front of Clarke shirt, lifting her up. Clarke glared defiantly at her, and abruptly shot her head forward, feeling the crack of the queen’s nose under her forehead, blacking out for a few seconds from the impact. Echo yelled in pain and dropped Clarke to the ground, grabbing her broken and bleeding nose in shock. Clarke struggled to stand, trying to get her hands free from the ropes. Echo looked up, her eyes darkening and blood streaming freely from her nose. Clarke stood her ground.

“You can’t hurt Lexa through me Echo. Didn’t you hear? She abandoned me. To save her people and that included you.” Clarke spat out, her chest hurting. She could feel tears in her eyes and tried to blink away the weakness. Echo glared at her angrily. “She cares more for her people, for you, than the woman she loved. And you call her pathetic. She is your leader. And she is damn good at it.” Clarke continued, still moving her hands slightly to loosen the ropes. She kept her eyes trained on Echo, who had yet to move from where she stood. “You could stand to take a few pointers from her.” Echo’s eyes flashed dangerously and she pulled out her knife. Clarke fell to her knees and braced herself for the incoming pain. Maybe this was the relief she had set out to find.

* * *

 

Lexa pushed her horse as fast as she could toward TonDC. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this. She was risking everything to save Clarke. She had done it before; she had sacrificed 250 of her own people to save Clarke, letting them burn to death, and using their sacrifice as a rally cry. She had risked being assassinated by countless generals by forging an alliance with the Skaikru. And then Lexa had betrayed her, in one of the worst ways possible. Condemning her and her people to death. Betraying the very trust they had built between the two of them. Lexa blinked away the stinging tears as best she could, flattening herself on her horse to will it faster. It was not a long ride from where they were camped and within 15 minutes Lexa heard yells and saw torch lights in the darkness. She pulled her horse to a stop and hopped off, tying it to a tree nearby. She crouched low and darted through the trees toward the fires and voices. Her feet were light and she kept her hand on her sword. She could see an Ice Nation sentry just ahead of her and opted to draw her knife, quickly leaping on his back, one hand over his mouth, the knife in his jugular. She waited until she was sure he was dead and quickly pulled on his gear, lifting the hood up. It was heavier and more awkward then the armour she was used to, but she wanted to be able to attempt to blend in if she were spotted.

“Branwada Azgeda.” She hissed under her breath, spotting another sentry. She repeated the same action, moving in a circle and cutting down the sentries around what looked like a clearing.

“Looks like the lively one is waking up.” Lexa heard a male’s voice from the clearing and peered out into it. She felt a surge of both anger and fear go through her body. On the other side of the small clearing Clarke, Octavia and Lincoln were all tied to trees, their heads drooping. There was a guard with a knife to Octavia’s throat and she clenched her jaw. A waste of a warrior, and one of Clarkes trusted friends.

“No. Leave her be, for now. We will use her as torture when the commanders little sky princess wakes up. For now, I want you to scout the forest. I will watch the prisoners.” Lexa’s head shot around at the sound of Echo’s voice, her body shaking with fury. Echo leaned down and began speaking to the unconscious Clarke in hushed tones and Lexa attempted to figure a plan.

“Hey, what are you doing there?” A rough voice startled Lexa, and without missing a beat she spun around drawing her sword up and slashed the sentry’s throat open. He fell backward with a slight thud and Lexa cringed, glancing back at the clearing to ensure Echo hadn’t heard it. What she saw was Echo kicking Octavia in the stomach. She glanced at Clarke who was now conscious with a gash on her cheek. Lexa backtracked into the trees and started looping around so she was behind where they were tied up.

“Clarke! Let her go!” Lexa jumped slightly as Octavia’s yell echoed through the trees and began running toward where both the sky warrior and Lincoln were tied up. She saw no other guards around, but she knew there would be more. She watched as Clarke used her forehead to break Echo’s nose and grinned slightly, moving to stand behind the tree that Lincoln was tied to.

“Lincoln, Octavia. It is Lexa. I’m going to untie you.” She hissed, and got no reply, taking that as acceptance. She pulled out her knife and began cutting through the ropes that tied Lincoln. She could hear Clarke talking quietly to Echo, unable to hear exact words. Lexa moved over to free Octavia and she heard Clarke raise her voice, her sawing motion slowing at the blondes words.

“She cares more for her people, for you, than the woman she loves. And you call her pathetic. She is your leader. And she is damn good at it. You could stand to take a few pointers from her.” Clarke spat and Lexa was in shock, until Lincoln stood up abruptly. Echo had drawn her knife. Lexa pushed out from behind the tree, shoving past Lincoln and raised her knife.

“Enough traitor!” She yelled and threw her knife hard and fast. It embedded itself deep into Echo’s shoulder, a look of shock on her face. The queen dropped her own knife and grabbed her shoulder in pain, falling to her knees. Clarke spun around, her eyes falling on Lexa who stood panting next to where Lincoln was untying Octavia. Lexa quickly ran down towards Clarke, but walked past her to Echo, grabbing the knife that was in her shoulder and yanking it out roughly whilst kicking Echo to the ground. She spun around to face Clarke and crouched down in front of her. Her eyes studied Clarkes wide ones that were hidden by what looked like an attempt at grounder warpaint. Lexa struggled to find her voice as she cut through the ropes that tied Clarke’s hands together. She leant backward, studying Clarkes face and eyes, her heart was pounding and she could feel a small smile pulling her top lip up.

“You’re alive, Clarke.” She barely whispered. Clarke stared back at her, her face a mask.

“Yeah, I am. Thanks to you. Although, at the same time, you put me in this position when you abandoned me at Mount Weather.” Clarke retorted, her voice hoarse with emotion, her mask cracking slightly in her eyes, emotions swirling. Lexa felt like she had been punched in the stomach, and stood up abruptly, masking her own emotions. Clarke followed suit and stood up in front of her, throwing the rope to the ground. They glared at each other a few seconds to long before Clarke turned to see if Octavia and Lincoln were okay. She smiled when she saw then hugging and they both looked down to them. Lexa shrugged off her Ice Nation gear so she was back to a gray tank and pants. She turned to look at Echo who was still on the ground, holding her bleeding shoulder. Lexa could tell from the colour of her face that the woman was not well. Lexa lifted Echo up by her shirt and slammed her back against the tree stump that was behind her, baring her teeth at the queen in anger. She tied the queens’ arms behind the stump using the rope that had tied Clarke.

“Not only did you take my first love from me. But you attempted to take my second as well. You destroyed the alliance between Trikru and Azgeda because of your pathetic revenge. You do not deserve any title, you do not deserve to breathe this air.” Lexa hissed, her voice dripping with anger. Clarke had never seen her so angry before, and she watched with unease. Lexa drew her sword in a swift motion and raised it to Echo’s throat. “You deserve many deaths worth of pain for what you have caused me. Jus drein, jus daun.” She said, using the tip of her sword to cut down Echo’s arm, who clenched her jaw in order to not scream out in pain. Clarke could see no mercy in Lexa’s face, unlike when she had to execute Gustus. There was only bloodlust.

“Lexa, please. We don’t have to do this.” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s arm, pulling her back slightly. Lexa stared at her.

“Yes, we do.” The commander stated, turning back to Echo. Clarke shook her head.

“I agree that we execute her yes, but not like this.” She said. Lexa spun back around to face her.

“This is what 'we' do, Clarke. This is what my people do. This is who I am. I WILL have blood for blood, you cannot stop this.” Lexa snapped. Clarke glared defiantly at her, her eyes pleading with Lexa. The commander took a slight step forward, entering Clarke’s personal space. “This person took the girl I loved and tortured her. She then tried to do the same to you, Clarke. And I cannot bear the thought of losing you again.” She murmured, her eyes softening and darting down to Clarkes lips and back up to her eyes. Clarke swallowed heavily, her heart pounding. She couldn’t deny Lexa this. She knew she couldn’t.

“Ok, Lexa.” She replied with a small nod. She saw a tiny upturn in Lexa’s mouth, and felt her stomach flip.

“Clarke!”  
“Heda!” Both Octavia and Lincoln’s voices startled the two leaders and they glanced away from each other in confusion. Clarke spotted the sentries in the tree before Lexa did and responded, using her body to push the commander down. Lexa felt like time slowed down as she felt Clarke roughly grab her and push her as 3 arrows flew toward them. She hit the ground with a thud, the air escaping her lungs. Clarke had landed on top of her and rolled off onto her side. Lexa quickly jumped up and threw her knife into the throat of one of the sentries and saw that Lincoln had already cut down the second and third.

“Lexa!” She heard Octavia yell and spun around, feeling her whole body numb. Octavia was on her knees with Clarke up on her lap. Lexa could see the tip of two arrows, one in Clarkes shoulder, and one above her hip. The commander fell to her knees beside Clarke, her hands shaking. The arrows had pierced straight through, and Lexa spotted the tails of them on the ground. “Commander, we need to get her to Abby right away.” Octavia shouted, but Lexa could barely hear her. Clarkes eyes were fluttering, her breaths short and sharp.

“Heda Leksa! Laik ste yuj! Clarke needs a healer!” Lincoln shouted, jostling his commanders’ shoulders. Lexa could barely piece her mind together. Clarke was hurt, and it was Lexa’s fault. Her thought’s echoed around her head, as she stared at Clarkes paling face, snapping back to reality as the sky princess let out a pained groan.

“Le-xa.” The blonde murmured. Lexa’s eyes widened and she stood up and grabbed Lincoln’s shirt roughly.

“Horse, hidden in the trees.” She spluttered out and Lincoln nodded, running in the direction that Lexa nodded. She crouched back down and lifted Clarke from Octavia’s arms and started carrying her toward where Lincoln had run off.

“Lexa, we need to get her to Abby. She will be able to save her!” Octavia said, pacing behind Lexa. The commander nodded.

“I cannot go with you. Your people will shoot me on sight without Clarke there to speak.” She said icily, looking down at Clarke’s pained face, her heart twisting in pain. Octavia opened her mouth to speak but Lexa interrupted before the sky warrior could get a word out. “I need you to save her, Octavia.” She stated. “If I am there, your people will not concentrate solely on Clarke.” Octavia just nodded, clenching her jaw. Lincoln arrived, pulling the horse to a stop. He motioned for Lexa to pass Clarke up, and she obliged. Glancing down at the blonde’s pale face, she felt her eyes stinging. Octavia climbed up behind Lincoln and nodded to Lexa.

“Gyon au.” The commander nodded back, hitting the horses’ rear. She watched them go, her body numb. She began sprinting back to the clearing. Her prisoner had been momentarily forgotten in the chaos. But now, she would truly pay. Lexa arrived at the clearing, her eyes widening at the empty stump.

“No.” She whispered, feeling her fight leaving her. All she could see was Clarke, the stupid, idiotic, naïve sky princess. The look of wonderment mixed with fearlessness on her face the day they met. The small looks that Clarke shot her when the blonde didn’t think Lexa was looking. The small smiles that she sometimes saw cracking Clarkes serious face. And the way that the sky girls lips felt like sunshine against hers. And now she was gone again. Her face white, blood staining her clothes. Lexa gritted her teeth, sinking to her knees at the stump. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. She was supposed to win the war with Clarke by her side. They were supposed to travel to Polis. She was going to wait for Clarke, for when she was ready. Lexa slammed her fist onto the tree stump, a sob escaping from her throat. “Clarke.” She whispered another sob escaping. She banged her fists repeating the blonde’s name with each hit, until she was exhausted, her eyes shutting as the sun began rising. But Lexa’s bright sky was gone, and it was her fault, again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for all the like and such guys, i appreciate it! I probably won't update this frequently but i figured may as well get the next chapter out too! Enjoy ^_^

Clarke fell in out of consciousness, her surrounds warping with her vision. She could feel the movement of the horse underneath her, and Lincoln’s hands holding her upright. Her hip and shoulder burnt with pain, and she could feel the pain spreading from where the arrows had hit her. Clarke tried to speak, her voice thick with pain.

“Poi-“ She gurgled, hunching forward. Lincoln pulled her back, slowing the horse to a stop. Octavia jumped off and ran to the front.

“Clarke? Are you awake?” She asked gently, holding the blondes hand, brushing her hair back. Her stomach dropped at the sight of Clarkes face, and quickly ripped the shirt away from her shoulder wound. The veins around the arrow head were thickening and a purple-red colour, with pus like secretion. “Oh god, it’s poisoned. Lincoln!” Octavia murmured, raising her voice to get his attention. “We need an antidote!” Lincoln glanced at the wound and frowned.

“That doesn’t look like the general poison we use. It must be a poison that the Azgeda uses.” He said, slowly dismounting the horse but still holding Clarke up. “I will go and look for what antidotes I have. But without a healer, I don’t know what can be done.” Lincoln’s voice was low. And Octavia stared at him in desperation, before mounting the horse behind Clarke.

“I’m going to get her to Abby still. Maybe we have some kind of antibiotic or something to slow the poison down.” She said. Lincoln nodded, giving Octavia’s hand a quick squeeze before running back the way they came. She urged the horse, holding Clarke tight to her body. “Come on Princess. You can push through this.” She muttered in the blondes’ ear as she stirred in her arms.

“O, poison.” Clarke gurgled out. Octavia nodded, her jaw clenched.

“Yeah, we know. Lincoln’s gone to look for an antidote. We need to get you to Abby.” She replied. Clarke swallowed thickly, her eyes fluttering slightly.

“Where’s Lexa?” She asked, realizing it was just the two of them, and she could feel worry in her stomach. “She saved us.” She murmured. Octavia shifted slightly.

“We told her not to follow. I’m fairly certain that our people will not hesitate to shoot her on sight.” Octavia explained. Clarke grabbed her hand gently.

“I know you hate her, and you don’t trust her O.” Clarke gurgled, her throat thick. Her eyes were shut, as it took all her effort to piece together words. “But I made a decision that was just as bad as her, if not worse.” She explained. “I can’t trust her, not just yet. But she means something to me. More then I realized.” Clarke murmured, her head drooping onto her chest again. Octavia glanced down in worry and urged the horse faster; they were close to Camp Jaha.

* * *

 

The light rain fell on Lexa’s head and bare shoulders, sending a slight chill through her body. She was still kneeling in front of the stump. How long she’d been there she had no idea.

“Heda Leksa!” Lexa jumped up, drawing her sword and roughly wiping her eyes. Lincoln crashed into the clearing, panting. Lexa’s eyes widened and her heart started beating fast.

“What are you doing here? Where is Clarke?” She snapped, sheathing her sword again, holding herself upright and proud. She would not show weakness.

“The arrows were poisoned. Octavia is still taking her to their camp. We need to find an antidote.” He explained, slightly breathless. Lexa felt herself collapsing slightly. Poison. Clarke was poisoned.

“I want you to go to our camp, Lincoln. Get Nyko. Find Indra, and tell her that I sent you. I am going to the Skaikru’s camp. I do not care. I need to ensure that Clarke is okay.” Lexa dismissed, walking over to the warrior that she had thrown her dagger into. She ripped it out, and handed it to Lincoln. “This should be enough proof that I sent you. Now go.” Lincoln accepted the knife with a nod.

“There should be some horses in TonDC. We passed it before. It is a quick walk.”  Lexa nodded, and watched as Lincoln sprinted off. She spun around and took a deep breath. She didn’t care what the Skaikru thought of her being there. She was going to be by Clarke’s side.

* * *

 

Octavia pulled the horse to a stop outside the gates of Jaha, the sun in the now clear sky. She jumped off the horse pulling it toward the gates.

“Someone! Get Abby straight away!” She yelled at whoever was looking her way curiously. Within seconds a couple of soldiers ran up and helped Octavia lift Clarke gently off the horse. They carried her toward the Ark, pushing through the crowd.

“O, what happened?” Octavia glanced to the side as Bellamy pushed through the crowd to fall into step next to her, his face wrought with worry as he took in Clarke’s state. They walked briskly into the ark and toward the medic’s section.

“Ice Nation caught us and were going to torture Clarke for some kind of revenge or something against Lexa.” Octavia explained. “Their queen, Echo, was doing it. Lexa saved us but Clarke jumped in front of Lexa to save her, and got hit with the arrows. They are poisoned, Bell.” She said glancing at him. His jaw was set, anger and worry plain on his face.

“And where are Lexa and Echo now?” He replied. Octavia opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted as Abby appeared, her face strewn with worry.

“Get her onto the table right now!” She yelled, pointing to a table in the middle of the operating room. She rushed around grabbing supplies and scrubbing her hands, limping slightly from her marrow extraction. She glanced at Octavia and Bellamy, and jerked her head toward the door. “You two need to get out.” She stated and they nodded backtracking out the door, but stood staring through the windows on it. Abby busied herself with grabbing antiseptics, needles and threads. She walked over to where Clarke was lying on her side, and cut through the remaining cloth that was on her chest and stomach, and set to work removing the arrow shafts and stitching them up. The skin around the holes was festering slightly. Abby rushed over to her antibiotics and loaded up a syringe to inject into both the areas to stop the infection. She placed bandages on the now stitched holes, pouring antiseptic liquid onto them. Abby prepared blood for a transfusion and inserted the needle into Clarkes arm before nodding to the nurse beside her. He stepped forward and picked Clarke up gently and placed her in a bed at the side of the room.

Octavia watched from outside, pacing back and forth in concern. Bellamy sat on an overturned container his head in his hands.

“Are you sure it was Echo?” He murmured. Octavia sighed in frustration.

“Yes. Why does it matter so much to you that it was her? Clarke is in there dying!” She shouted at him. Bellamy glanced up, his eyes red.

“I know that, O! I just can’t believe Echo would do this. She helped me, she helped us.” He mumbled. Octavia scoffed.

“The same could be said for Lexa, and look what happened with that.” She replied. Bellamy remained silent. Octavia sighed and sat down next to him with a huff, chewing her lip. “You know Clarke cares for Lexa right?” She ventured. Bell glanced up at her. “Like, really cares for her.”

“Yeah, they were commanding together. Clarke cares about everyone.” He replied. Octavia shook her head.

“No, Bell. I mean she REALLY cares for her. You didn’t see them together. The way they look at each other.” Octavia explained. Bellamy looked at her curiously.

“Grounder! There’s a grounder headed toward camp!” Both Octavia and Bellamy jumped up at the sound of alarmed voices and ran out of the ark to see the commotion.

* * *

 

Lexa found the horses tied up at TonDC and galloped toward Camp Jaha. She knew the direction, having camped out there before she had met Clarke, when all that had been in her vision was revenge for the innocents that Finn had killed. She soon arrived, the sun bearing down on her bare arms. She tied the horse up just inside the tree line and reluctantly untied her sword from around her waist and held it up in the air to show the Skairkru she was unarmed and peaceful. She clenched her jaw in nervousness. She knew the sky people were lenient in their punishments, but this was different. She hoped that most would not recognize her without her trademarked war paint. She stepped out of the cover of trees and within moments heard shouts from the camp, and held her head high, continuing to stride toward the gate.

“Drop your weapon grounder!” A posted guard yelled at her, his gun trained on her. Lexa eyed him off, but obliged, keeping her hands in the air.

“I wish to speak to Octavia, Kane or Clarke.” She called out in clear English, still walking toward the gate relentlessly. The guard studied her and opened the gate. She waited until a couple more guards ran toward her and searched her for concealed weapons, keeping her eyes trained on the ark as they patted her down. The idea that these people dared lay hands on her made Lexa’s blood boil, but she knew she had to remain calm.

“Lexa. What are you doing here?” A familiar soft voice spoke from her right and she turned her head slightly to meet eyes with Kane.

“I need to see Clarke.” She responded, dropping her arms as Kane motioned to the guards to stop their search. “She jumped in front of arrows to save my life. And I have information that may save hers.” Kane studied her and Lexa stared back. “I can stand here all day, Kane, but every minute that passes Clarke’s life falls more and more in danger.” She said with slight venom. He inclined his head slightly.

“Follow me then.” He turned, heading toward the Ark. Lexa fell into step behind him, ignoring the whispered disrespect toward her and the dirty looks.

“Lexa, what are you doing here?” Octavia said, greeting them at the door. Beside her a tall man stood, familiar in looks to Octavia. He glared at Lexa, his jaw set. Lexa glared back, fighting the urge to say anything. She had barely spoken to Bellamy before, had just seen him following Clarke around like a puppy, but she knew how highly Clarke thought of him.

“I am here to see Clarke and talk to her mother. I have information on the poison that may be in Clarke’s system.” She said, speaking to Octavia, ignoring the fiery looks from her brother.

“You’re the reason she is in this position, traitor.” He said, his voice betraying his emotion. Lexa’s glare snapped back to him.

“Clarke made the conscious decision to take the arrows. I did not force her, nor did I shoot the arrows. To blame me is pointless, and the longer we stand here shooting blame upon each other, she lies in there dying. So if you are done being a child, I suggest you take me to your healer.” She snapped, her tone authoritative and dismissing. 

“IF you hadn’t have abandoned us at Mount Weather she wouldn’t have left the camp in the first place.” He responded, taking a step closer to intimidate Lexa, who stood her ground. She looked away from his dark eyes to look at Octavia.

“Take me to Clarke, Octavia. We do not have time to be arguing.” She said, and Octavia nodded, putting a hand on Bellamys arm.

“She’s right Bell. We will deal with that later. Let’s just take her to Abby.” Bellamy stared down at Lexa for another split second because huffing and stepping aside.

“This isn’t finished.” He muttered darkly. Lexa lifted her chin in defiance.

“It never is.” Was all she replied, and began following Octavia. Bellamy had spoken little few sentences to her and she already knew that she would not get along with the head strong and naïve man. All the sky people had an air of naivety about them, Lexa was beginning to realize. Those thoughts soon left though as she stepped inside of the ark. Her mouth opened slightly at the sight. This was where Clarke grew up. Wires and cords ran along the roof, and doors opened on their own. Everything was a metal and silver colour, with lights glaring. Kane glanced sideways at the young leader, a slight smile on his face.

“It was much more impressive when we were actually in space.” He murmured to the grounder. Lexa shut her jaw quickly, ashamed that she had let down her persona and nodded slightly, eyes straight ahead. They were silent for the rest of the walk until they reached the medics wards. Abby was outside of the operating room, cleaning up some mess, her back to them. Lexa could see Clarke lying in a bed through the glass doors.

“Abby. We have a visitor.” Kane said, and Abby spun around her eyes hardening at the sight of Lexa.

“What are you doing here? How dare you show your face.” She snarled and Lexa noticed the older woman’s hand twitching, fighting the urge to hit her. Lexa squared her jaw and shoulders, never breaking gaze from the infuriated woman. She had expected this. “You abandoned your people in TonDC and left them to die. You USED our people; you used Clarke to get your people back! You left her there. And now she comes back with arrows through her body because she was protecting you? You are destroying her! How dare you show your face here.” Abby yelled, slamming her fist on a benchtop, angry tears in her eyes. “You have no right to be here, so I suggest you leave before we are forced to act.” Lexa felt her top lip rise in a snarl and tried to calm her anger.

“Clarke has been poisoned. And I am here for the simple reason of saving her life. I would guess that that is a good enough to explain my presence here. Kane clearly understands my worth in the matter.” Lexa stated coldly, satisfaction coiling in her stomach at the glare that Abby shot Kane. The grounder commander had sensed rivalry of sorts between the two adults when she first saw them together. Kane shrugged.

“She makes a fair point. If Clarke is indeed poisoned then we need her help.” He responded, a small, sad smile on his face. Lexa felt her own mouth curve up in a smirk at Abby’s frustrated face. She deflated, defeated and opened the surgery doors. Lexa took a deep breath and followed her in, the others remaining outside.

“Tell me about the poison, Lexa.” Abby asked, running a hand along the side of Clarke’s pale face. Lexa yearned to do the same, but held herself.

“It is a poison often used in the Ice Nation. While the poison itself is not will not kill her, it attacks the body like a disease, wearing the victim down. It is not unlike what we use to thin enemy armies.” Lexa explained, her eyes taking in the gauntness of Clarkes face. “We have antidotes that will make her stronger, but none that will cure her. They are in the Ice Nation.” Abby bit her lip.

“So it attacks the immune system. Makes her vulnerable to illnesses that normally wouldn’t worry someone of her health.” Lexa nodded slowly.

“The longer the poison is in her system, the more susceptible she will become, until even a simple cough could mean life or death.” The commander felt her voice crack ever slightly and refused to look at the healer of the sky people as she looked up. Abby backed away from Clarke to grab something out her some cupboards in the room and Lexa watched with fascination as she got together some medicine in a needle and a bag of liquid. Turning away from the doctor, Lexa walked over to Clarkes side, her eyes softening.  She very gently placed a hand on the blonde’s arm and leant down.

“Blood WILL have blood this time Clarke. She will not get away with this.” She whispered, before straightening as Abby walked over, wheeling the bag on a metal pole. Lexa stepped back, watching curiously. “What are you doing?” She asked, as Abby prepped Clarke’s free arm for the I.V, clenching her teeth as she watched the needle be inserted into her veins.

“I am giving her some nutrients via her blood system. Should help make her a little stronger, at least until you find that antidote.” Abby explained, turning around and crossing her arms. “Which you and your people will locate and bring back here.” Lexa growled slightly.

“You do not understand, sky person. We cannot simply walk into the Ice Nation territory and walk back out. We have been at war for generations, and now what little peace we had has been destroyed.” She snarled.

“Then what do you expect us to do? They are your kind, not ours.” Abby shot back and Lexa’s lip turned up with a hiss.

“They are not my people. Same as _you_ are not my people.” She responded, and glanced past Abby to Clarke. “I do not know what to do.” She admitted quietly, her voice shaking slightly. Abby looked at her curiously.

“I am going to go and talk to Kane about this. Please meet us out there when you are ready.” She said, glancing from her daughter to Lexa before leaving through the automatic doors. The brunette turned to Clarke and walked back over to her. She looked at the needles going into her arms and felt guilt chew into her stomach.

“They are all correct. This is my fault. Because I chose my people over you. My head over my heart. I did not have any other option.” Lexa worried on her lower lip as it quivered, feeling a wave of emotions roll through her. She knew this was weak. She was being weak. But seeing Clarke lying there, knowing it was her fault, Lexa couldn’t hold her strength. She took shuddering breath, dipping her head down. “I chose with my head and lost my heart. But, the sky people will not lose you, Clarke.” She set her jaw, straightened up and gave in to the temptation of brushing Clarke’s hair back from her face, before leaving the room and joining the others.


	3. Chapter 3

Lincoln pulled his horse to a stop and jumped off, preparing himself for a fight. It was late afternoon and the grounders were milling around, some in groups fighting. He spotted Indra training her troops.

"Indra!" He called and caught the attention of multiple grounders, alarmed voices echoing. She strode over to him drawing her sword.

"You do not belong here anymore traitor. You made your decision to side with the Skaikru, just as Octavia did." She hissed, pointing her sword at his chest. "Heda Leksa made it clear that any Trikru that went near the mountain broke the deal and were no longer welcome here." She said, pushing the knife into Lincolns chest slightly, causing a small spot of blood. Lincoln slowly reached down to his belt, watching Indra's eyes narrow.

"I am here on Lexa's order." He said, drawing the commanders' dagger and extending it to Indra. She lowered her sword and grabbed the dagger out of his hand.

"Come with me." She stated and led the way to Lexa's empty tent. Lincoln followed, keeping his head down and ignoring the abuse thrown at him. Indra paced back and forth in the tent as he entered. "Explain."

"Clarke of the Sky People was kidnapped and was to be tortured by the Azgeda queen." He explained. "Both Octavia and I were also caught. The Commander rescued all of us. But Clarke was shot with poison tipped arrows." He explained. Indra growled.

"That is of no concern to us. Let her own people deal with that. Where is the Commander now?" Lincoln bit his tongue to hold back harsh words.

"Considering Clarke had jumped in front of Lexa to take the arrows, I would say we owe her our commanders' life. And the Commander herself has requested I bring what antidotes I can back to the Skaikru's camp." Lincoln said, a small smirk on his face at the wide eyes of the general. She began pacing faster, cursing in their Trikru language.

"When is she returning? What of her people here? They grow restless." Indra asked and Lincoln shook his head.

"I am unsure. But she would be at the sky people's camp by now. If I leave before sundown with the antidotes I should reach it by dawn. And then Lexa can return to camp." Indra nodded.

"I will go and fetch you Nyko. Hurry back, traitor. The Commander cannot stay missing for much longer." The general stated, leaving the tent in a huff.

* * *

 

 

"We can't just send guards to a foreign area without knowing its dangers, Abby." Kane exclaimed.

"Well then Lexa, have some of your men go with you? And we will send some guards of our own." Abby shot back, glancing at the young leader. Octavia and Bellamy sat silently, watching the back and forth fight between the adults and the Commander. Octavia could see by the look in Lexa's eyes that she was beyond frustrated. They had been arguing for hours by this point, the same argument. Lexa slammed her palms down on the table and stood up casing her chair to scrape backward loudly.

"This is getting us nowhere. Lincoln should return with our minor antidotes by sunrise. Until then, there is no point in arguing this anymore tonight." She exclaimed, glaring at the two bickering adults. They were as useless as she had expected. They both stared at her in shock, before Kane slumped back in his seat.

"She's right. It's late, and we need to sleep. You especially Abby, today has been a difficult day." He said, and stood up. Lexa scoffed under her breath.

"I need to watch Clarke." Abby said, rubbing her eyes.

"I will watch over her. I know the signs of the poison." Lexa said briskly. Abby shook her head.

"No way would I let you stay anywhere near my daughter." She snapped and Lexa glared at her. Octavia yawned and stood up with a stretch.

"I will watch with Lexa to ensure that everything is fine. I want to wait up for Lincoln anyway." She offered, ignoring the worried look from Bellamy. Abby sighed, glancing between the two girls.

"Fine, but I will have a radio beside me. You contact me if there is any change at all." She said and got up and walked out with Kane in tow. He glanced at Lexa.

"I would recommend you don't leave the ark, or even the medic's area, Commander. Our people are understanding, but there were loses at Mount Weather, and they blame you." He said before following Abby out. Lexa glanced away from Octavia and Bellamy's stares. They had every right to blame her, she had abandoned them all. Lexa walked with the siblings, listening to their bickering, barely tuning in, her mind on Clarke. She knew that Clarke would be up and walking around within a short period of time after the antidotes, but that would only last a few days, a week at most before they wore off and her system would begin to fail.

"Lexa? Did you hear me?" Octavia questioned, glaring at the grounder. Lexa shook her head slightly, irritated at the warrior for interrupting her thoughts. "I asked if you knew what happened at Mount Weather, after you abandoned us." Lexa shook her head, genuinely curious. Octavia glanced at Bellamy.

"They are all dead." He said simply, his voice rough. Lexa glanced at them in confusion.

"What? When I had heard word of your people escaping I assumed you had managed to kill their leadership, or soldiers." She said, noticing the downcast expression on Bellamy's face, before looking straight ahead again as they continued walking. "How did you do it?"

"Clarke did it. It was her idea." Lexa could feel mixed emotions of pride and guilt. "She irradiated the entire population. Children, elders, innocents. People that helped us. Loved ones. She sacrificed them so we could live." There was silence in the air for a moment as they arrived at the glass doors of the room. Clarke had a peaceful expression on her face, and a nurse was sitting inside the doors reading. Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke, un-moving.

"She made the decision as a leader. She did what she had to save you. Victory is built on the back of sacrifice and Clarke knew that." Lexa replied. "No one deserves to have to make that decision. But it has to be done." Both Bellamy and Octavia glanced at her, and she lifted her chin and opened the doors of the room. She was aware immediately that neither Octavia nor Bellamy followed her in and felt grateful. The nurse that was reading jumped to his feet as Lexa walked in, eyes wide and mouth dropped open. Lexa glanced sideways at him.

"Abby sent me here to watch Clarke." She said, her head turning slowly to look at the nurse. He glanced at Octavia quickly for confirmation, and when he received it quickly exited the room. Lexa glanced around the room, and grabbed the crate that the nurse was sitting on and dragged it over to Clarke's bed and sat down rigidly next to it, her eyes raking over the blonde. A small amount of colour had returned to her skin and her breathing was steadier then when last Lexa had seen her. She glanced at the I.V drip in wonder. The sky people had impressive healing knowledge, and Lexa was intrigued. Not only could they change reapers back to men and resurrect dead warriors but now they were keeping Clarke alive without poison antidote.

"You and your people may not be warriors, Clarke. But you are most definitely impressive with your technology and healing." She said with a very small smile, watching Clarke's sleeping face. Lexa had rarely seen a moment where Clarke was relaxed or not upset, and now seeing her peaceful Lexa's heart clenched. She could have had this. She could have had Clarke. The commander laid her head on the edge of the blonde's bed, cursing her spirit for being chosen to lead. She placed one hand on Clarkes arm and closed her eyes. "Same as me." She muttered and felt sleep overcome her.

* * *

 

 

"We got what we could. Where is the Commander?" Muffled voices woke Lexa up, and she lifted her head abruptly, momentarily forgetting where she was. She felt warmth on one of her hands and looked down in confusion, her face softening when she saw Clarke's hand loosely holding hers. She glanced up when she heard the voices get louder and stood up quickly, removing her hand from Clarkes' and rubbing her eyes to wipe away the sleep. Clarke moaned slightly, moving positions. Lexa strode away from her bed to the doors just as the voices arrived. Lincoln, Nyko, Abby and Kane were leading, with Abby glancing worriedly at Nyko who stared in wonder around the ark. Octavia and Bellamy followed the odd crew.

"Heda." Nyko said, bowing his head with respect. Lexa raised her chin, glancing at the sack by his side.

"I trust you brought what antidotes we had?" She asked. The healer nodded.

"I brought whatever we had left, Heda. We will have no more left after this." He said, his tone and face suggesting that she should not use them. Lexa glared at him, and then turned to Abby.

"Clarke needs to drink the antidote. Are you able to make her?" She asked, following the older woman into the room with Nyko at their heels. Abby turned and looked at Lexa with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't need to follow us in here Lexa, you are not a doctor and Clarke really is none of your concern. She is my daughter, my responsibility, not yours." Abby said coolly. Lexa ground her teeth, holding back her spiteful words. "She is not one of your people. Don't forget that you are the one that put her in this position." Abby finished, staring at Lexa sternly. The grounder matched her gaze before turning to Nyko.

"Get klin Klark kik raun. Fis em op. (Be certain Clarke lives. Heal her.)" Lexa glanced at Abby. "Em Klark nomon, branwada plan. (She is Clarkes mother, foolish woman)" She snarled, and Nyko looked down with a grin, and Lexa heard a small snort from Lincoln in the hall. Lexa turned back to Abby raising her chin in defiance.

"Nyko will help you." She said before walking away. Abby watched her leave, exchanging a glance with Kane who shrugged. Lexa walked past and stood next to Lincoln and Octavia, never looking away from Clarke as Abby and Nyko worked on getting her to swallow the liquid. She cleared her throat. "Thank you Lincoln and Octavia." She stated. Both Lincoln and Octavia glanced at her, then away again.

"Heda." Lincoln responded, and nudged Octavia who stayed silent, muscles in her jaw working. Lexa turned to them.

"I am no longer your commander, Lincoln. You made your choice to leave Trikru. As did you Octavia. You both ignored a direct order for retreat." She said, turning away again. "Neither of you are welcome among my people. This does not change anything." The commander watched as Abby forced the liquid down Clarke's throat, holding her up by cradling the back of her daughters head. Lexa barely blinked as Octavia stormed away with a huff, Lincoln following a few moments after. Kane was nowhere to be seen and Lexa was painfully aware of Bellamy staring at her, and refused to meet his gaze when he stepped up beside her.

"Was Echo really the one that did this?" He asked. Lexa nodded slowly. Bellamy sighed and Lexa glanced at him. "She saved me, you know. Echo. She didn't even know me, she knew I was a sky person. But she believed that we were in an alliance." Bellamy looked down at Lexa, catching her curious gaze. "I guess I have you to thank for that." Lexa nodded and turned away, his eyes boring into hers and making her uncomfortable.

"Echo's nation is now no longer part of the twelve clan alliance, Bellamy. She declared herself an enemy the moment she attacked my hear- Clarke." Lexa fumbled, trying to maintain dignity at her slip, ignoring his hard gaze.

"You care about Clarke." He stated simply. Lexa glared straight forward, exhaling slightly when she saw Abby and Nyko heading toward them. She looked up at Bellamy with a slight smirk.

"I could say the same about you." She said as the doors opened. Abby crossed her arms, seeing Lexa still standing there.

"She has taken the antidote. I will ensure that a nurse stays here to make sure she keeps it down." Abby said. "Now, we eat and then we will discuss further plans for the cure." She said, laying a hand on Bellamys shoulder and walking past them. Lexa took one more long look at Clarke and followed the sky people, Nyko trailing behind.

* * *

 

Clarke opened her eyes slowly, the white glare of the hospital room causing her to squint. She moaned slightly, pain in her shoulder and hip evident.

"Hello?" She choked out, pulling herself up painfully into sitting position. She glanced down and saw an I.V drip in her elbow crook.

"Clarke, you shouldn't be sitting up." The blonde jumped slightly, startled by the voice. She turned to see Jackson standing up and stretching. "Your mom is with Commander Lexa and Kane." He explained, checking Clarke's vitals. She stared at him in confusion.

"Lexa? The commander is here?" She asked, feeling her stomach drop. Jackson nodded. Clarke swung her legs off the bed, cringing at the pain in her hip. "She shouldn't be here; it's not safe for her." Jackson held his hands up quickly and stood in front of her.

"Whoah, you aren't well enough to go anywhere. Lexa is fine. You mom, Kane and the Commander have made a temporary alliance in order to get your cure." He explained. Clarke looked at him quizzically.

"My what?" She asked, stretching her body as much as she could with the pain.

"Cure. You were poisoned by the arrows, Clarke. Lexa says that it causes your immune system to shut down." Jackson explained softly, sitting on the bed next to her.

"But I feel fine? I feel perfectly healthy, aside from being in a little bit of pain." She exclaimed. Jackson pulled the bandage off her shoulder wound, checking it.

"Lexa got you a temporary antidote, that'll buy us some time to find the cure. Otherwise your life is at great risk Clarke." He said. Clarke felt her stomach drop, glancing down at her feet. "The cure for it is in the Ice Nation territory, and they are discussing how to obtain it. Whether or not we risk our men or Lexa sends hers. It's an ongoing debate." He explained, replacing the dressings. Clarke frowned, placing her feet on the ground and standing up, pulling the I.V roughly out of her arm. Jackson watched nervously, standing up to grab bandage for her now bleeding elbow crook.

"Where are they?" She asked, walking carefully over to the cupboard where she knew some spare clothes would be. Jackson followed and grabbed her arm, wrapping the bandage around the bleeding puncture mark.

"Clarke, I really recommend you get back into bed. You aren't well enough." The nurse said. Clarke glared at him.

"Jackson please, this is important. This is my life they are discussing. I don't want a decision to be made without me being there." She said, cringing in pain slightly as she pulled some pants on, and slipped a shirt on, wary of her shoulder wound. There was no way Clarke was going to let people die for her. Jackson stared helplessly at her.

"They are having lunch. I would check there first. But I'm not really sure." He surrendered. "Please Clarke. Rethink this. You aren't well enough." Clarke smiled gratefully at him.

"Don't worry, I won't tell my mom you let me go." She said, and walked out of the room with a slight limp. Her mind was reeling, and in the forefront she was concerned about Lexa's safety. Abby and Kane may have allowed her here, but she could think of plenty of people that would kill her if they had a chance. Clarke lent against the wall breathing heavily. While she was feeling stronger and better by the minute the wounds still ached. But she knew she had to hurry.

* * *

 

Lexa glanced around the mostly empty food hall curiously. She could tell it had obviously been damaged when the ark had landed, but she could see where sky people had been working on fixing it up.

"This way Lexa." She glanced at Bellamy who motioned to where there was a storage crate. He opened it and Lexa frowned at the contents. There were metal containers with bright labels and writing on it, pictures of different strange foods.

"What is this?" She asked, picking one up and looking at it curiously. Bellamy laughed.

"It's canned food. We took it from Mount Weather." Lexa glared at the food and handed it back.

"I will pass." She said ignoring the annoyed sigh from Bellamy. "I wish to go outside for a moment. I hate being inside this long." Lexa asked, glancing at the door. She was feeling stifled, and she could see that the few sky people that were in the room were looking at her and Nyko curiously, and whispering furiously to each other. Bellamy glanced around and noticed Miller at the doors, staring hard at Lexa and felt his stomach drop as Jasper walked around the corner. Miller grabbed him and pointed at Lexa and Nyko, whispering something. Bellamy turned to Lexa.

"You're right, I'll escort you out." He said leaning down to mutter in the Commanders ear. She looked at him suspiciously. Abby and Kane had left the room and Lexa felt unease in her stomach.

"Why are there grounders here, Bellamy." Lexa turned immediately to the voice and noticed a tall boy with sunken eyes standing next to a darker boy. Both were younger than Bellamy and she assumed they were part of the 44. Her skin crawled at the look the dark eyed boy was giving her. Bellamy walked forward, laying a hand on Lexa's shoulder, making her snap her head up to glare up at him for touching her so casually.

"Jasper. They are here in a temporary alliance. Abby and Kane need the Commander-"

"The commander? THAT is the grounder commander?" Jasper interrupted, scoffing and walking toward Lexa. Out of instinct she dropped her hand to her belt, cursing internally when her hand didn't hit the hilt of her sword. She looked up defiantly at the boy, Jasper, as he walked closer and stood over her. She could see pain and hurt in his eyes and braced herself. "You're the one that abandoned and betrayed us. Left us there to die after selfishly getting your people back. The reason that Clarke had to kill an entire group of people, most of whom were innocent." He spat, tears welling in his eyes. "Like the girl I loved." Lexa's heart sank slightly, understanding the pain he was in, but held her head high.

"I did what was right for my people. They come first. Clarke understood this. She knew what repercussions came with making that decision." She stated, never looking away from the boys dead eyes. She saw his lip quiver. "But you, and your friends are safe here now, and you have Clarke to thank for that."

"You grounders don't care about who lives and who dies. You are all savages." Jasper spat as Lexa turned her back on him to walk away, but stopped at the words and fought not to hurt the foolish child that insulted her people.

"Jasper, stop it." Bellamy said quietly and Lexa sneered, her back still to the teenager.

"You would be wise to listen to him." She snarled. A few gasps rang out in the room and both Bellamy and dark skinned boy gasped as Lexa felt something cold and solid touch the back of her head. She slowly turned to see a gun pointed at her head. The boys hand was shaking and there were tears running down his face.

"Your life for Maya's life. That's a fair trade isn't it?" He asked, spitting slightly. Lexa stared straight back at him, her lip curling.

"IF you do this, you will have my entire army here within hours to avenge their commanders' death. Do you think you could kill them all?" She snarled, walking forward and pushing against the gun.

"Drop the gun Jasper, right now." Lexa's heart rose in her throat and she stumbled back momentarily at the voice. Jasper jumped in surprise and Bellamy spun around. The boy lowered his gun. "You don't want to do this. This will just start another war." Lexa watched as Jasper fought internally, his face almost twitching before obeying, his gun hitting the ground with a loud clang and he stepped aside. Lexa found herself staring straight into Clarke's blue eyes. By this point sky people had begun to fill the room, word spreading fast. Abby and Kane tried to push past the crowd. Clarke picked up the gun Jasper had dropped and handed it to Bellamy. Lexa watched, her heart racing. She didn't think the antidotes would work that fast, but Clarke looked almost completely back to normal aside from a slight limp as she walked up to Lexa.

"I'm sorry about that." She said softly. Lexa shook her head, her eyes softening as she studied Clarkes face.

"It is to be expected." She murmured, and Clarke averted her gaze.

"Clarke! What are you doing here?" Abby yelled, trying to push through the crowd.

"What is a grounder doing here?"

"Apparently she's their leader?!"

"But they betrayed us!"

"Why is she still alive? Jasper had it right, we should kill her!" Varied voices were yelling and the crowd pressed closer. Clarke stood next to Lexa glancing around the room with concern.

"Everyone, shut up!" Bellamy shouted, his deep voice echoing. The crowd went silent and he looked to Clarke.

"Commander Lexa is here for a very specific reason under a temporary alliance. If anyone threatens or attacks her, then that is a blatant attack against me." Clarke stated loudly. Lexa's head snapped to look at the sky princess, her heart pounding. She herself had said similar words to one of her own people. Clarke looked over at Lexa, feeling her breath catch in the intense gaze that the grounder was staring at her with, unspoken thanks in her green eyes. Clarke nodded, turning back to the curiously buzzing crowd.

"We just won a war; got our people back and you are all already jumping at the opportunity to start a new one?" She shouted, and the sky people all fell silent, and Lexa could see looks of guilt on their faces. "This is NOT who we are." She concluded.

"Says the murderer." Jasper muttered from the side and Lexa turned on him before Clarke could react.

"Are you alive? Are you here?" She hissed to him, and Clarke grabbed her arm. She shrugged it off. Jasper glared at the grounder. "Clarke did not murder the mountain men. It was war. She did not intend on causing you harm by killing the one you love. It was something that your leader needed to do, to save you and your people's lives. Do not think for a moment that Clarke does not suffer from her choice. But, if you are to blame anyone, you must blame me." She stated, aware of the sky crew's gaze upon her, especially Clarkes.

"Clarke! Are you okay? You should be in bed!" Abby exclaimed, having managed to push through the crowd. Clarke turned to look at her mom, grimacing slightly as Abby grabbed her uninjured shoulder and looked her up and down. She nodded and stepped back slightly.

"How could you leave Lexa here with no protection, Mom?" She said harshly, glancing between Abby and Lexa. Abby avoided her gaze, opening her mouth to speak but Lexa interrupted.

"You do not need to worry yourself over me, Clarke. You should be resting." Clarke glared at her.

"Did you not just have a gun at your back, commander?" She retorted and Lexa raised an eyebrow at her.

"Enough. Clarke, I want you to return to the medics ward and back to bed. Lexa, Kane and I need to discuss something." Abby interrupted the two girls and Lexa nodded in agreement. Clarke shook her head stubbornly.

"No. I know about the poison, and I want to help with finding the cure. I can't believe you were going to make a decision about risking our people's lives without including me." She stated, glancing between Abby and Lexa. The commander returned her gaze, rare amusement in her eyes.

"We had to wait until the antidote had kicked in and you were conscious before we could include you in anything, Clarke." Lexa responded. The blonde gave her an annoyed look.

"I thought mockery was the product of a weak mind." She shot back, and a tiny smile tweaked Lexa's lips.

"Stop it." Abby snapped, causing both girls to break gaze from each other and look at her, startled. "We need to take this somewhere else. Clarke, you need to go back to the medics ward. Lexa I want-"

"No." Clarke interrupted. "I'm going to be a part of any of the negotiations. It is my life we are talking about." She stated. Abby looked at Kane as if for some kind of guidance.

"I agree." Lexa said, earning a quick smile from Clarke. Bellamy sighed.

"Clarke has a point Abby. We just need to hurry up and figure this out. But not here." He said, glancing around the crowd of people still milling around, talking among themselves. Clarke nodded and led the way out of the hall, with the others following. Octavia broke through the crowd and fell into step beside Clarke.

"Welcome back princess." She said, her expression serious. Clarke glanced at her with a small smile, still aware of how betrayed Octavia felt toward her.

"Thank you for saving me O, and getting me back here. I'm sure I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you, and Lincoln." She said sincerely. Octavia nodded.

"You're important to everyone Clarke. I want you to remember that." She said and went silent. Clarke frowned in slight confusion, leading the small party toward a council room. Lexa came up and fell into step beside the limping Clarke, throwing a look at Octavia who dropped back again.

"Clarke. I have not had a chance to thank you for saving my life. If you hadn't taken those arrows I-"

"It's fine Lexa. As I have said before, I need you." Clarke said, looking straight forward.

"And I have already told you. My spirit will choose someone wise. You do not need to worry." Lexa replied, watching the blonde. Clarke shook her head.

"That's not the only reason Lexa." She said. "But, I want you to know that I don't forgive you, and I don't trust you." She snapped, and stopped as she reached the door to a council room. She glanced at Lexa, her face softening. "Not yet." Lexa nodded and glanced back at the small party, bracing herself for the argument that was about to happen, and followed Clarke into the room, the blondes' familiar last comment fresh on her mind. Kane, Abby and Bellamy followed, with Octavia standing near the door and Nyko standing behind Lexa. Clarke sat down in the chancellors' seat, ignoring the look shot at her from Abby, watching as Lexa sat down next to her, the commanders' eyes finding hers and nodding to start. Bellamy glanced up at Octavia who raised her eyebrow at him.

"See?" She mouthed, and Bellamy frowned. Clarke cleared her throat.

"So, am I safe to assume the cure or antidote is in the Ice Nation territory?" She addressed, and Lexa nodded.

"We are thinking a small party of both Lexa's men and our guards will retrieve it." Kane said, glancing at Abby who was watching the two girls intently.

"No. I will go, with a grounder escort." Clarke stated. "I will have no one risk their lives in a pointless mission. This is my life, my risk." Abby scoffed.

"Like I would allow that to happen Clarke. You left the camp only 4 days ago alone and without informing anyone and look what position you ended up in. You are needed here, where you will rest and wait." The older woman retorted. Bellamy glanced down at his hands and Lexa watched Clarke curiously. She was unaware that Clarke had left by choice on her own.

"Nyko. How long do you think these antidotes will last in my system?" Clarke addressed the grounder healer. He glanced down at Lexa.

"About seven days." He responded gruffly.

"Lexa, how long will it take to reach Ice Nation territory?" The blonde said, looking to the commander.

"Four days if we travel by horse. Seven by foot." Lexa responded, watching Clarke set her jaw. The window of time was risky, as the party would need to be able to return immediately without interruption if they were to get the cure back to Clarke before the antidotes wore off and her body began wearing down again, but Clarkes chances of remaining healthy were best in quarantine at the ark, as even the smallest of bacteria or virus would destroy her body. Lexa could see Clarkes brain working, running through her choices. The blonde looked up at Kane and Abby.

"Fine. We will do it your way. Two sky crew guards and" Clarke looked at Lexa. "If you allow it, Commander, two grounder escorts?" Lexa nodded slowly. Abby and Kane glanced at each other, uncertain about her willingness. Clarke sighed. "I'm tired and my shoulder and hip hurt. There is no point in arguing with you, so I will comply this time." She said, her voice tired. The crew could see the fatigue in her face.

"Okay Clarke. We will organize for them to leave later tonight." Abby said, nodding at Kane. "As your doctor I would like you to return to bed now." Clarke nodded, getting to her feet and limped over to Octavia.

"Can you please walk with me back to the medics ward?" She asked, and Octavia nodded. Lexa glared at the two of them, feeling jealousy flare out of control again. Clarke caught her gaze and smiled slightly before walking out of the room, Octavia in tow.

"Lexa." Bellamy said, tapping his fingers on the table. The commander looked at him in irritation. "I will go to the Ice Nation with another guard. Will you be able to convince any of your warriors to escort us?"

"I doubt that Clarke will comply with you going, Bellamy." She responded. "As for escorts, my warriors will do what I tell them."

"I don't care if Clarke complies or not. I need to make sure that she gets that antidote." Bellamy stated and Lexa nodded, narrowing her eyes slightly at him.

"Do not let emotion control your actions." She offered coldly. "Clarke would be upset if she lost you. Don't make this harder for her." She finished, standing up abruptly. The others stood automatically with her. "Find me when you have organized yourselves and I will take you to my camp." Lexa dismissed and exited the room, Nyko following close behind. She glanced around, unsure of where about in the ship she was, unwilling to ask the sky people for directions. Nyko watched his Commander curiously. He had not seen her act this way before.

"Heda. Where to now?" He asked softly. She raised her chin.

"You stay here, and go with the Sky crew as they organize their belongings and men. I want you to report anything they say back to me. I need to talk with Clarke." She said, walking away in the direction she hoped was correct.

* * *

 

 

"Octavia, I'm going to go myself. I am not letting anyone risk their lives for mine." Clarke admitted as the two walked back to the medics rooms. Octavia scoffed.

"Like I didn't see that coming. If the adults don't suspect you at all then they are a lot dumber than I thought." The warrior said with a slight grin. Clarke smiled at her. "But, I hope you don't think you are going by yourself, princess." Octavia said, and the blonde shook her head.

"No, I don't plan on it. Lexa won't allow me to. I will go with her back to the grounder camp and she can choose escorts to join me." Octavia sighed.

"Of course. I don't know how you can trust her, Clarke. She betrayed you. She betrayed all of us." She said, her jaw clenching. Clarke sighed as they reached her ward.

"I don't trust her O. But I need her help. That's all there is to it." The blonde said, sitting on her bed with a huff, cringing at the pain in her hip. "I need you to get me some gear together, food, guns and tents. Can I trust you with that?" She inquired and Octavia nodded.

"I'll get Lincoln to keep an eye on Abby and Kane. They plan on sending the guards out at nightfall to head to the grounders camp." Clarke nodded, lying back on the bed with a grunt.

"Where is Lexa staying?" She asked. Octavia shrugged.

"She slept in here with you last night. I'm going to go and get your gear together." She said quickly, seeing the expression on Clarkes face, strolling out of the automatic doors. Clarke closed her eyes as exhaustion overcame her. She could just barely remember a warm hand on her arm last night. Lexa's hand. She sighed, squeezing her eyes tight, her heart hurting.


	4. Chapter 4

“This place is ridiculous.” Lexa murmured to herself staring at the hallway ahead of her. She could have sworn that this area was familiar, but everything in the ark had the same look and Lexa could feel slight nervousness pooling in her stomach. This was the last place she wanted to get lost in.  
“Are you lost?” A voice made the commander start slightly and she spun around. A kind looking teenager was standing there, shuffling slightly in nervousness. “I’m Monty.” He offered, extending a hand. Lexa looked down at it in confusion and back up to the boy.  
“I’m looking for Clarke. She is in the healing section.” Lexa stated and the boy smiled slightly.  
“No problem, I will take you there.” He offered and Lexa gave a single nod in appreciation. 

* * *

  
Clarke awoke suddenly at the side of the doors swishing open and sat up, cringing in pain.  
“Relax Clarke, it’s just me.” Clarke scoffed at Lexa’s comment.  
“Just you? I don’t know how that is supposed to relax me, given your past of stabbing me in the back.” She muttered, avoiding Lexa’s gaze.  
“I came to see if you were ready to go soon. It’s nearly dark.” The grounder said coolly, ignoring the blonde’s bite. Clarke narrowed her eyes.  
“Did Octavia explain my plan to you already?” She asked, stretching and climbing off the bed. Lexa shook her head, glancing to make sure no one was near the doors.  
“I am not a fool, Clarke. I know you.” Lexa said shortly. Clarke looked at her, feeling her heart beginning to race as Lexa stared at her with emotion swirling in her eyes. The grounder walked toward the blonde, never breaking their eye contact. She looked down at Clarkes visible shoulders through her singlet, and gently placed a hand on the bandaged wound, inhaling sharply. Her eyes raised slowly resting momentarily on Clarkes lips and up to look in her eyes. “I’m going to escort you to the Ice Nation personally. You did this to save my life, and now I will repay the debt.” She said, her voice quiet. Clarke’s eyes shot down to Lexa’s lips and back up, shifting from one eye to the other. She could feel the warmth of the girls’ hands on her shoulder through the bandage and tried to slow her racing heart.  
“I can’t ask you to do that, Lexa. You need to go back and lead your people.” She responded hoarsely, aware of the lack of distance between the two of them. Lexa’s lips twitched into a smile.  
“And you need to lead yours. Without each other our people will fall right back into war again. My generals are capable of controlling my people for the time it takes to find your cure. We are not as bloodthirsty as you seem to believe.” Lexa responded, slowly taking her hand off the bandaged shoulder and dropping it to her side. Clarke shook her head.  
“I can’t do it, Lexa. I left camp for a reason. Everytime i-“  
“Am I interrupting something?” Octavia said with humor in her voice. Clarke stumbled back into her bed in surprise and Lexa turned with a glare toward the warrior.  
“We were discussing our plan, Octavia.” She responded, her eyes following Clarke as she walked past to greet Octavia. The brunette looked at her curiously but bit her tongue at the pointed look that Clarke shot her.  
“I have your gear Clarke. And I packed some extra supplies for Lexa as well, to cover you until you reach your camp.” Octavia stated, handing a backpack to Clarke who smiled at her gratefully. “You should get going. It’s dark out and they are talking about leaving soon, but can’t find you, Lexa.” She continued. Clarke turned and nodded at Lexa and faced Octavia again.  
“Thank you O.” She muttered quietly, before pulling the girl into a hug earning a surprised look on the warriors’ normally stoic face. “May we meet again.” Clarke whispered in her ear and realization hit Octavia.  
“You’re not coming back, are you?” She whispered, hugging the blonde back. “May we meet again.” She said stepping away. Clarke wiped away a stray tear and walked past her friend with her head high. Lexa started to follow until Octavia grabbed her arm roughly. They stood facing opposite directions. “Make sure she gets to the camp safe, and that her escorts will protect her. I don’t trust you, Lexa. But I do trust that you love her enough to keep her safe.” Lexa glanced sharply at Octavia at the comment.  
“You need not worry Octavia. I have every intention of Clarke surviving this. She is strong.” She replied and Octavia released her arm, refusing to look at the commander. “If I fail, I will expect a fight from you.” She said before walking away. Octavia turned and watched them go, chewing on her lip in concern.  
Clarke quickly opened her backpack pulling out two shawls, similar to the ones they used to sneak out of TonDC and gave one to Lexa.  
“We need to leave unnoticed.” She explained, pulling hers on. Lexa smirked.  
“Yes Clarke, we have done this before.” She said as she donned the scratchy hood. Clarke grabbed her hand and pulled her to a side hallway.  
“There’s a side door down this way and we can sneak out the back of the fence.” Clarke explained, still holding Lexa’s hand and dragging her behind.  
“I have a horse tied up just in the tree line at the front of the camp.” Lexa offered and Clarke nodded at her.  
“Perfect, we will loop around and grab it.” The blonde said finally letting go of the commanders’ hand much to her disappointment. They exited through a large metal door and Lexa gratefully breathed in the fresh air of the night. She had not been outside in two days and had missed the air and freedom. Clarke glanced at her, tugging her arm again.  
“Come on, we can enjoy the fresh air later. We need to be gone before they realize we are missing.” Lexa nodded and they jogged to the back gate, where the guard on watch was asleep, his gun resting in his lap. Clarke opened the gate quietly and they slipped out and into the trees. Lexa took the lead, keeping her pace slow enough that Clarke could keep up with her limp and they circled around until they found Lexa’s horse tied up. It had been there for a day and she could tell it wasn’t happy about it. She glanced at Clarke who looked at the horse with happy eyes.  
“Will you be able to climb up Clarke?” Lexa asked, and the blonde frowned slightly, testing by lifting her arm up, her face twisting in pain. The grounder crouched down and offered her hands as a boost.  
“I will push you up, and swing your good leg over him.” She explained and Clarke nodded, prepping herself for pain in her hip. Without even a noise Lexa hoisted Clarke right up, her arm muscles tensing, and Clarke couldn’t help but stare down for a moment. Lexa glared at her. “Any time soon Clarke.” She snapped and the blonde quickly swung her leg over, moaning in pain as she felt her hip wound tear slightly and leant forward on the horse in pain. Lexa jumped up behind her, and pulled up Clarke’s shirt to look at the hip bandage. A small amount of blood was spotting on it.  
“It’s fine. We need to go.” Clarke groaned, pulling her shirt back down. Lexa nodded and reached around to grab the reign, urging the horse to turn around and gallop. Clarke leant back slightly, her backpack on her lap and body weight against Lexa, making her heart pound. “Doesn’t hurt as much if I sit like this.” Clarke said stiffly and Lexa nodded, glad that the sky princess couldn’t see her slightly flushed face.  
“We need to go to my camp first. I must explain to my generals where I am going, and we need to collect gear for the journey.” Clarke frowned.  
“I have gear, food and weapons.” She said, patting the bag that was on her lap. Lexa smirked.  
“Clarke. You have seen the gear that Azgeda wear. It is cold where they live, and we will need thick coats. We have Azgeda gear at the camp.” Lexa explained her lip curling at the idea of wearing their thick furs. “We need to blend in as much as possible. And your sky clothing is not blending in.” She continued. “Besides, I will not use your guns, and as it is now, I am unarmed.” Clarke frowned.  
“Our guns would be much more effective than a sword, Lexa. You should realize this by now.” The blonde felt the grounder stiffen.  
“We do not touch those weapons, for fear of turning it upon another. They are dangerous and against our ways, and I will not be forced to use one. You would be wise to remember that.” Lexa stated harshly and fell silent. Clarke bit her tongue and felt a wave of fatigue rush over her, and leant back further in Lexa’s body as tiredness consumed her. “Rest, Clarke. It will take us the night to reach the camp.” Clarke felt the commanders words vibrate through her bones and closed her eyes allowing the sleep to overcome her. Lexa kept her eyes forward, her arms around Clarke to hold her still, hands holding the reigns. She could feel her heart racing, and tried not to concentrate on the feeling of warmth coming from the sky girl. She knew that any chance of Clarke being hers was gone, but to have her here like this Lexa could feel a small spark of happiness – something she had not felt since Costia. Clarke was alive; she was alive despite Lexa leaving her to die. And this time, the commander would save her. 

* * *

 

Clarke awoke when she realized that they were no longer moving. She was still leaning back against Lexa who was sitting quietly, looking forward. Clarke quickly sat up straight, glancing around.  
“Why have we stopped?” She asked her voice husky from sleep. Lexa glanced at her.  
“Good morning.” She said, and climbed off the horse, stretching a little. “We are at my camp. You slept the entire ride.” She explained, and offered to help Clarke off the horse. The blonde eyed the Commanders offered hands, but knew she would not be able to get down on her own. Lexa braced herself against the ground and hooked her hands under Clarkes shoulder, wary of her shoulder wound. Clarke placed her hands on the Commanders strong shoulders and eased herself off the horse, grateful when Lexa took her weight and lowered her to the ground. The blonde looked up, their bodies only a few inches apart, and her eyes found Lexa’s slightly parted lips. She tore her gaze away, and released the commander, stepping backward slightly clearing her throat. Lexa swallowed thickly and turned away.  
“Follow me Clarke, and stick close.” She said and began walking toward where tents were pitched. Within moments they had reached the camp and Clarke was hit with nostalgia. Many times she had walked through these tents to the commander’s tent, discussing war tactics and plans. She could hear yells and chants of “Heda” from the grounders that had spotted them. Lexa kept her head raised and entered her tent with Clarke close behind. The blonde smothered a gasp at the sight of the tent. The model of Mount Weather had been all but destroyed, as though it had been hit by something or thrown countless times off the table. A metal cup and jug were on the ground and Clarke could see the remains of dried up liquid from where they had fallen. Several knives were sticking out of a pole, and Clarke could see they had been thrown from Lexa’s throne. She glanced at Lexa whose jaw was clenched and she avoided Clarkes questioning gaze.  
“I will go and retrieve the Azgeda gear. Wait here, Clarke.” Lexa stated, and walked back out of the tent. Clarke wandered over to the throne and noticed blood splats on one of the arms of the chair, and a dagger hole in the other. She traced her finger over the hole and glanced at the chair. She knew what sitting in that chair meant. Giving up emotion, always putting your people first regardless of personal feelings. Clarke remembered sitting at the base of the throne, trying to scrub the blood of Finn off her hand. She had had no choice to kill Finn, it was mercy. She had had no choice to sacrifice the village to the missile, or their plans would have never worked. She had no other option then to irradiate the mountain, killing innocents. She had no choice, no say in any of it. Clarke dropped into the throne, feeling the weight of her actions pressing down on her. Is this what Lexa went through? Cursing her birth, her role, and her choices? Clarke looked at the Mount Weather diagram from where she was seated. The only part which was not destroyed was the front door, where Lexa had left Clarke. It faced the throne, as if Lexa had sat there torturing herself. Staring continuously at the place she betrayed her heart. Clarke could feel tears welling in her eyes again, Lexa’s betrayal playing continuously in her mind.  
“Clarke.” The familiar click of Lexa’s voice caused Clarke to jump to her feet, brushing away her hot tears.  
“Sorry Lexa. I didn’t mean anything by sitting in your throne.” She quickly stuttered, seeing Lexa’s intense stare at her. She glanced around her, but saw no one following. Thick pale furs were drooped over the commanders arm and she had a sword on her back, her dagger tied to her waist. Lexa walked toward the table and laid the furs down on it still gazing at Clarke curiously.  
“I suggest you wear our armour beneath these furs for added protection.” Lexa said simply and Clarke’s mouth opened with a slight exhalation of breath as Lexa dropped her sword to the ground and slipped off her shirt. The tattoo on her arm was not her only one. They curled up over the Commanders hips and onto her back. Hardened abs were prominent and as Lexa turned Clarke managed to shut her mouth. There were more tattoo’s running down her back, a cloth wrapped around her chest as a make shift bra. Lexa leant forward to pick up her armour and Clarke found herself striding over to the grounder. She gently laid her fingers on the commanders toned back, running her fingers over numerous scarred bumps on her back.  
“These are all your kills? Lincoln told us about them.” She murmured and Lexa stiffened as Clarke’s fingers stopped above a group of very fresh wounds. She counted them out loud under her breath. “45?” She queried. Lexa exhaled sharply.  
“One for each of the sky crew I abandoned. I had assumed you had all perished. And it was my fault, and there for my kills.” She explained softly. “But I guess I did that for nothing then. They will be taken by others soon though.” Clarke frowned.  
“Why only 45? There were 46 of us by the time you left. 44 trapped, Bellamy, and me.” She questioned, lifting her fingers off of Lexa’s back, and the commander turned to face her, her gaze intense. She looked down toward her chest and pulled the bottom of her binding up, revealing the bottom of her left breast. A large prominent scar and an large open wound were positioned over where her heart would be beating, just under her breast. Clarke felt her breath catch in her throat, and tears threaten to close it up. She stared at the two marks until her vision blurred. One for Clarke, and she assumed the other was for Costia. Lexa turned and began pulling on some light grounder armor.  
“We need to get moving Clarke. There should be some gear on the table over there.” Lexa stated, her voice plain and she jerked her head toward a table behind the throne where Clarke could see clothes laid out. She glanced at Lexa before heading to the table. Lexa leant forward on her cupboard, squeezing her eyes shut, and biting her lower lip. She would not show weakness now. She needed to be strong, to get Clarke the cure. The commander picked up her sword and wrapped it around her shoulders before turning to grab the Azgeda gear. She glanced at the bag that Clarke had brought and grabbed another satchel of her own, attempting to shove the gear in there.  
“Folding it might be easier.” Clarke offered, walking over in grounder armour. Lexa looked at her appreciatively and Clarke smiled slightly taking the gear off of Lexa and folding it so it’d fit into the satchel. “So what’s the plan?” She asked gently.  
“I have spoken to my people and generals informing them that I will be gone on a mission for over a week. They will continue heading back to Polis.” Lexa explained, exiting her tent with Clarke in tow. “We will take two horses, and should arrive at the territory in at least 4 days depending on any interruptions. Nyko showed me how to prepare the antidote so I can administer it to you the moment we find it and that will allow us more time to get you back to camp.” Lexa explained, leading Clarke to where the grounders horses were stabled. The blonde bit her lip at the last part of the plan, not willing to tell Lexa that she had no intention of returning to Camp Jaha. She picked a white horse and Lexa spoke to the stable hand in her language. Clarke assumed she had told him to saddle and prepare the horses as that is what he began to do. They stood in silence watching him load their bags. Clarke glanced over at Lexa whose eyes were downcast, and she was absentmindedly playing with a piece of cloth that was wrapped around her finger that Clarke had not noticed before.  
“Did you hurt your hand?” She asked, breaking the tense silence. Lexa glanced at her and back down at her hands before dropping them to her side.  
“I had an accident with my dagger. It just slipped, that is all.” She explained, lifting her chin in her usual defiant manner. Clarke nodded and walked over to her horse which was fully saddled. “Do you need me to help you up again?” Lexa asked, following the blonde. She shook her head.  
“No, they don’t hurt as much anymore.” Clarke lied and grit her teeth before hauling herself up, breathing heavily through her nose from the pain. “Let’s just get going, okay?” She offered as Lexa watched her. The commander nodded and gracefully hoisted herself on her black horse and nodded to the stable hand. She turned her horse and glanced at Clarke.  
“Are you ready?” She said and received a quick nod in response. Lexa urged her horse and led the way into the forest with Clarke at her heels, grimacing as the horses’ steps jolted pain through her wounds.


	5. Chapter 5

“Lexa!” Clarke called. She had slowed her horse down, her wounds aching, her body tired and had lost sight of Lexa in the trees. They had been riding at high speeds for hours into the late afternoon. “Lexa!” She shouted louder, her horse trotting nervously. She turned her head slightly at the sound of rustling and drew her gun squinting to see in the blinding evening sundown. “Lexa where the hell are you?” She muttered to herself her horse turning itself in circles.

“Clarke! Do not shout.” Lexa hissed, trotting out from in between two shadowed trees, causing Clarke to jump slightly on her horse. She whipped around to face the commander.

“Well maybe if you hadn’t run off I wouldn’t have had to!” The blonde shot back, her temper short from exhaustion. Lexa glared at her, her eyes taking in her hunched positioning and fatigued face.

“Are you tired?” She asked, and got a shake of the head in response and rolled her eyes. “It’s going to be dark soon, so we should find a place to rest for the night.” She said and urged her horse forward at a slow pace, glancing back to make sure Clarke was following. The sky crew girl had her head down and a frown on her face.

“Lexa, can I ask you a personal question?” Clarke’s voice was quiet and thoughtful. Lexa swallowed thickly, staring straight ahead.

“Yes.” She replied. Clarke was silent for a moment.

“Are your parents still alive?” The blonde asked, glancing up to see Lexa stiffen on her horse. The brunette stayed silent for a few minutes and Clarke assumed she had crossed a line.

“No.” She finally answered, her voice strong and unwavering. “They were killed in a battle. A warrior’s death. Why do you ask?”

“How old were you when you lost them?” Clarke dodged Lexa’s question with another, meeting Lexa’s gaze as she swiveled on her horse to look at the sky girl.

“We do not find it important to count time that has passed, Clarke. It has little meaning and use.” She turned back forward. “We are trained as soon as we are able to, as soon as we can pick up a sword, or bow and arrow. A warrior’s age has no impact on skill.” She explained. “And we do not hold onto the deaths of loved ones for long. Love-“

“Is weakness. Yeah, I got that.” Clarke interrupted. “How do you do it? How do you just stop caring?” She muttered, not expecting an answer. Lexa breathed in sharply.

“You don’t. Not completely.” She said, staring forward and increased their speed a little. Clarke kept up, confused by the commanders’ comment, her head reeling.

* * *

 

 “We will camp here for the night.” Lexa said, pulling her horse to a stop next to a small clearing. The grounder hopped off her horse, tying it to a tree close by and turned to Clarke, raising her eyebrow in question. “Do you need a hand, Clarke?” Clarke sighed, her wounds aching from the constant jostling of the horse and nodded. Lexa strode over and held her hands out like before. Clarke made sure not to fully lean into the commander and kept a bigger distance between them, but couldn't help staring into Lexa’s green eyes which were darkened by the shadows of the night. She cleared her throat and stepped back, stumbling slightly from her hip.

“We better get the tents up Lexa.” She said in a rush, grabbing her backpack off the horse. As she opened it up her heart sank and she felt her stomach twist. “Problem is, we only have one tent.” She said falling back on her ass with a huff. Lexa looked at her with quizzical look.

“Is that a problem, Clarke? We have shared a tent before.” She asked, looking down at the sky girl. Clarke stood up abruptly and began opening the tent and setting it up, avoiding Lexa’s gaze.

“It’s just a very small tent is all.” She muttered, still avoiding the commanders stare. Lexa turned away and began picking up sticks for a fire as Clarke put the tent up. She crouched down and began spinning a stick to start the fire. Clarke glanced at her, noticing Lexa’s brows furrowing in concentration. She looked younger, more innocent then she normally did. The blonde finished setting up the small tent and grabbed some berries and dried meat strips out of her backpack. Lexa had the fire started and was leaning up against a tree, watching Clarke.

“Here, some food. You must be hungry.” The blonde said, holding her hand out. Lexa gratefully took the food, still watching Clarke as she dropped to the ground heavily, staring into the flames. They ate in a tense silence. “Do your people listen to or play music?” Clarke broke the silence again. Lexa remained passive in expression, swallowing her food before answering.

“You ask pointless questions, Clarke.” She answered flatly, settling back and shutting her eyes. Clarke shot a glare at her.

“I’m just trying to break the silence.” She said. “And I’m curious, about your people. Your culture.” She added quietly as an afterthought, throwing her berry seeds into the fire and watching the sparks flick up into the air. Lexa opened her eyes slightly, taking in the sight of the dejected sky leader. Clarke was slumped over, her arms wrapped around her knees, despite the pain that must be causing her wounds. She stared into the flames and Lexa could see the shadows under her eyes, the haunted look in her face. She sighed and shifted closer to the fire, lying on her back and looking up at the sky, her head pointing toward where Clarke was sitting.

“Let me ask you a question, Clarke. Why did you leave your camp?” She said, tracing shapes in the stars with her eyes. Clarke stared dully into the flames, thinking of how to word her turmoil. If she was going to talk to anyone, Lexa would be the one to understand.

“Because I can’t stand to look at their faces. I look at them, and I see the burnt and melted faces of children. Of elderly and innocents.” She muttered, pulling out her gun and staring at it. “I can see the blood staining the presidents shirt after I pulled the trigger. I can feel the cold metal in my hand as I pull the lever down.” She placed the gun gently on the ground. Following Lexa’s lead she flopped onto her back, so that she was square to Lexa and began staring up into the stars. “I can’t do it Lexa. I can’t just not care. I can’t lead them anymore. That’s up to Bellamy now.” Lexa remained silent, and Clarke felt tears welling up. She couldn't allow herself to cry, not in front of the commander, not again. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“None of this your fault Clarke.” Lexa said, her tone soft. “You were born to lead, and you lead well. You need to remember that no one is innocent in this world. The choices you make are the necessary ones to keep your people and yourself alive.” Clarke rolled her head to the side so she could see Lexa. The grounder was still staring up at the sky. “There are no good, or bad people as your people like to phrase it. There are just survivors.” Lexa turned her head, catching Clarkes gaze and holding it. “And you,” Lexa paused, inhaling sharply, “Are one of the strongest people I have met.” She saw Clarkes eyebrows draw together and could see tears in the sky commanders’ eyes, but didn’t look away. “You took the life of the boy you loved, to save your people and show him mercy. I had firmly believed that you would be haunted by that, but you pushed through it, Clarke. You showed no weakness. You save lives that should be let go. You make the right choices, and your people are alive and I am alive today because of them.” She finished, letting the words hang in the air. She gazed at Clarke, a small smile on her lips. Clarke stared back, tears flowing freely down her face. Lexa rolled her head back to look at the sky before closing her eyes tight to hold back her own tears. Clarke sniffed and wiped her eyes and nose roughly and glanced at her tent, and back at Lexa before wiggling into a more comfortable position, her eyes watching the flickering of the fire as sleep began to wash over her.

“I couldn’t have done this, survived or saved them without you, Lexa.” She whispered to the crackling flames, her words getting lost in the sound. “I did what you taught me.”

* * *

 

Lexa awoke abruptly when she heard a muffled noise, climbing to her feet stiffly with her hand on her sword. Her eyes grazed the edge of the tree line, the morning sun lighting the forest up. She could see nothing in the trees or on the ground anywhere around and glanced at the tent, straightening up and taking her hand off her sword. Clarke was lying next to the now dead fire, and not in the tent she had set up. Lexa frowned, slightly confused before softly walking away to get more firewood. She spotted a rabbit on the edge of the clearing and drew her dagger, throwing it with pinpoint accuracy and killed it. The sun was only just rising, glinting off some condensation on left on the leaves from the night. Lexa breathed in deeply and retrieved the rabbit, skinning it in the bushes next to the clearing. She could hear small moans coming from Clarke and quickly wiped her blade off on the discarded rabbit skin before heading back to the campfire. As quiet as she could the grounder got the fire crackling again and placed the rabbit carefully in it and sat back. He eyes glanced over to the girl sleeping next to her. Clarke moaned and ungracefully rubbed her nose and eyes as she woke up, sitting up quickly when she remembered where she was.

“Good morning Clarke.” Lexa said and Clarke spun around to see the commander sitting cross legged in front of a small fire. Lexa couldn’t help but offer a small smile at the blonde, her hair mussed and eyes bleary from sleep. The early morning sun was rising and threw light onto Lexa’s face, her green eyes wide and staring at Clarke, soft with emotion. Clarke stared back, dumbfounded by the grounders beauty. “You did not sleep in your tent?” Lexa gestured to the untouched tent, her eyes flicking back to Clarkes. The blonde seemingly broke out of her daze and groaned and stretched, trying to lessen the stiffness in her back.

“No, I fell asleep out here. Seemed like too much effort to move into the tent. Besides, it’s really only for bad weather.” She said, the excuse flowing off her tongue. It was better to say that then the truth of wanting to stay near Lexa. “Are you cooking breakfast?” She asked sniffing. Lexa nodded, finally tearing her gaze away from Clarke.

“Rabbit. It should be ready soon.” Clarke nodded, stretching again and grunted in pain. Lexa watched her, her eyes dropping to the blondes wounded shoulder. “Would you like me to check your wounds, Clarke?” She inquired hesitantly. Clarke glanced down at her shoulder and nodded, pulling her shirt down to expose her bare shoulder. Lexa lent forward on her knees, her face a mask and pulled the bandage back off the wound, her fingers brushing Clarkes tender skin. A shiver went down her spine and she flinched backwards in reaction. Lexa pulled back immediately, biting her lip. “I’m sorry. I did not intend to hurt you.” She apologized, watching as Clarke quickly pulled her shirt back up. Clarke avoided her gaze, her heart racing. The grounder obviously had not noticed the goosebumps that had risen at her touch.

“It’s a bit late to apologize for that, Lexa. You seem to be good at hurting me.” Clarke snapped, standing up and beginning to pull the tent down. Lexa remained silent, clenching her jaw. She knew it was foolish to think that their conversation last night had changed anything between them. Clarke glanced back at Lexa, noticing her jaw muscles working and felt a pang of guilt. She wasn't ready, she still hurt, and Lexa needed to know that.

* * *

 

“What is music? Do your people listen to music?” Lexa asked, glancing at Clarke. They had been riding at a fast pace in silence for hours and had slowed to allow the horses to rest. The sun sat high in the sky and both girls could feel sweat trickling down their backs.

“What?” Clarke asked, not sure if she misheard the question. Lexa raised her chin, and Clarke could swear she saw her cheeks blush a little.

“What is music and do your people listen to it?” Lexa repeated, slightly irritated. Clarke smiled to herself. It was the question that she had asked last night, that Lexa had deemed “pointless”.

“Yes, well, we used to, back on the Ark.” Clarke answered, smiling at the memories. She missed music. “Music is-“ Clarke tried to find the words to describe it. “It’s what the noise that you blow out of your war horns is. That is a type of music.” Lexa looked at her with a strange look. “But you can put a group of instruments together, like the horns but different ones, and it would make music.” Clarke floundered, trying to explain. “And we used to dance and sing to it. We’d have parties, and just dance for hours.” Lexa remained silent, facing forward and Clarke glanced over at her. She had a small frown wrinkling her forehead.

“I do not understand.” She replied. “I do not know what singing, dancing and parties are.” Clarke stared at her, unsure of it was a joke or not. Lexa glanced at her and away again, clenching her jaw. “Those horns are symbols of war; the sound they make is for warriors. That is not music, correct?” Realization hit Clarke and she looked away, closing her eyes for a second feeling as though she had been kicked repeatedly. The grounders had been at war for generations within their clans, reapers and Mountain Men. They had to survive radiation and radiated animals. They would have lost the things that humanity enjoyed before the wars and the very concept of something as trivial as music and dance would seem strange and utterly pointless. They traded in the fun of learning dance moves as teenagers to learning how to swing a sword. Lexa was silent, staring at Clarke steadily.

“I can’t explain it, Lexa. It was something we did for fun. Maybe after this is over, I could show you? Sing for you or something?” Clarke offered, not really considering the impact or intention of her words. A small, but genuine smile lifted Lexa’s lips and her eyes lit up causing Clarke to momentarily lose her breath. She offered a smile back, trying to calm her racing heart. Clarke broke the eye contact first as her horse jerked its head, startling her. By the time she looked back at Lexa the commander had her eyes forward and any hint of a smile was gone from her face. Clarke sighed and glanced around. The forest was beginning to thin out, and the ground was getting rockier, the horses having to trot around some giant rocks. She was grateful that she didn’t have to duck and weave as much anymore. She glanced at Lexa again, taking in the way she sat perfectly on the horse, the grace and poise she had despite the uneven ground. Lexa could feel Clarke staring at her and turned her head slightly, looking at the blonde out of the corner of her eyes.

“Is there a problem Clarke?” She asked and received a shake of the head. She looked forward again, unable to look at the blonde without staring and her heart racing. While she didn’t quite understand the meaning of music or singing, she assumed by the way Clarke’s face had lit up talking about it, it was something special, and the sky girl wanted to share that with Lexa, despite her betrayal.

“Lexa? Can we stop for a while? I can hear some water close by and I’d REALLY like to wash myself.” Clarke asked and Lexa chewed her lip, thinking. They were still at least 2 days ride from the border of the Ice Nation and she had no idea where to find the plant that she needed when they got there, and they’d already used up more than a day of Clarke’s time. “Lexa.” Clarke said again pulling her horse to a stop. The grounder exhaled exasperatedly, pulling her horse to a stop and turning it to face the stubborn sky leader.

“We are on a short time limit, Clarke. It’ll still take us at least 2 full days ride to reach the border.” She said, her voice irritated and her hands fiddling with the reigns. Clarke tilted her head with a small smile, somewhat sad.

“We’ll have time, Lexa. But I do need to wash my wounds and re-bandage them, or this will be for nothing anyway.” She explained. Lexa resigned and nodded allowing Clarke to lead the way to where she thought she heard the creek. “Do you know how to swim?” She asked the grounder and got an amused look in return.

“Of course Clarke. Do you not know how to swim?” She asked, her eyebrow raising slightly. Clarke glared at her.

“We didn’t exactly have oceans and rivers in space Lexa. Makes learning how to swim a little more than difficult.” She retorted and smirked at the quick shift from smug to embarrassed look on Lexa’s face. “I haven’t exactly had the time to learn to swim either.” Clarke continued and Lexa felt her stomach drop. Between her grounder warriors attacking the 100 and the Mountain Men capturing her, she wouldn’t have had any time for enjoyment. “Although, one time I jumped off the side of the Mount Weather dam down a waterfall after Anya did.” Clarke continued and climbed off her horse, smiling at Lexa. “I couldn’t believe that she just jumped straight off, but we didn’t have any other option. I passed out pretty much straight after I hit the water. Anya found me further downstream and dragged me out. Saved my life.” She added, tying her horse up to a nearby tree. Lexa followed suit, struggling to hold her emotions down. She hadn’t had time to mourn over her mentor, and hearing Clarke speak fondly about her made her fight to stay strong. “She knocked me out pretty much straight after that to take me to you though, something about having something to show?” Clarke said with amusement and Lexa spun to face her.

“You told me she died by your side, to get a message to me.” Lexa snarled, her emotions quickly turning to anger. “Yet Anya had planned on dragging you before me as prisoner? Did you lie to me?” Clarke held her hands up quickly shaking her head.

“Lexa no, we ended up coming to terms and making a deal! We beat seven shades of shit out of each other, but we both came to realize that we needed each other to get our people out of the Mountain!” Clarke explained, watching Lexa glance down to the ground and back up, grinding her teeth together. “I assure you Lexa. We were in total agreement that an alliance needed to be formed, just as you and I were.” Lexa lifted her chin in her usual defiant manner and nodded, looking down at Clarke.

“Fine. I will continue trusting you, Clarke.” She stated, advancing on the sky leader, stepping into her personal space, her eyes cold. “But I warn you, do not lie to me.” Clarke held her ground, eyes flicking from one eye to the other and swallowed heavily, her body tense. She nodded, and couldn’t help but allow her eyes to dart down to Lexa’s mouth which was partly open. She could feel herself craving to close the tiny bit of distance between them. She stepped back, breaking her gaze with the commander and turned to face where she could hear the water running. Lexa’s eyes watched her, still with a slight glare.

“Come on, we better get moving if we want to cover more ground.” Clarke said, her voice slightly husky, her mind still reeling from Lexa being so close. The grounder followed her lightly, watching the sky girl tripping over rocks clumsily.

“You are not graceful.” She stated and Clarke shot an angry look behind her.

“Thanks.” She snapped back, earning a small smirk from Lexa who continued following silently. By the time the girls had gotten to the river they were both covered in sweat and Clarke was panting from the pain in her shoulder and hip.

“I hope this is worth it.” Lexa stated, but couldn’t deny that the clear water looked cooling and she herself craved to wash. Clarke glanced at her and began undressing.

“Guess we will have to see.” She said she said with a mischievous grin. Lexa raised her eyebrow at the girl, intrigued by this playful side that she had not seen.

“Guess so.” She replied quietly and also began stripping off. She glanced up, feeling her heart rise to her throat. The sunlight was glinting off the water of the river and bathed Clarke in a glow. She was in only underwear, and Lexa was unable to draw her eyes away. Clarke gently peeled off her bandages, revealing the two wounds and Lexa was finally able to quickly glance away, guilt churning in her stomach. They were only here because Clarke had risked her life to save Lexa, when she far from deserved it. She quickly stripped off and walked up to where Clarke was standing on the bank. The blonde dipped her toes in before drawing her foot back.

“How do we know if there are any giant mutated man eating snakes in here?” She asked quickly, squinting toward the glinting water. Lexa looked at her perplexed.

“We don’t, until we get in. But they in general are only in the ocean.” She said, still staring at the blonde. Clarke turned to face her finally and caught her breath. Her eyes raked up Lexa’s muscular body taking in the scars and tattoos before catching the commanders’ eyes. They stood quiet, gazing at each other, their shoulders almost touching. Without realizing, Clarke felt herself leaning forward, watching as Lexa’s eyes darted to her mouth and back up and licked her lips. The blonde dropped her eyes to Lexa’s, turning her body to face the brunette. “Clarke.” Lexa said in an almost whisper, her voice husky. “Would you like me to teach you how to swim?” She asked breaking eye contact and turning back toward the water. Clarke lent back frowning in confusion and swallowing heavily, a slight embarrassed blush colouring her cheeks.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” She stammered out, perplexed. She watched Lexa wade into the water and lazily swam to the middle before ducking under the water and coming back up. Clarke replayed the moment they’d just had, and was certain they were going to kiss. She wasn’t ready to trust Lexa, not by a long shot, but she couldn’t deny their connection. But Lexa had pulled back. Clarke followed Lexa into the water but stayed in the more shallow water, afraid to get to close. She quickly washed her wounds, scrubbing the dirt and sweat off her body. She concentrated intently on what she was doing and not on Lexa who was swimming around, her wet hair framing her in the water.

“I cannot teach you in shallow water, Clarke.” The brunette said, watching her scrub her body down. Clarke looked up with a glare.

“I thought you said we didn't have time to even bathe. Swimming is a waste of time.” She snapped and walked out of the water, grabbing her clothes. She knew she shouldn’t be annoyed or upset. She was the one that wasn’t ready for anything, especially with Lexa. But Clarke couldn’t help but feel as though Lexa was shutting herself down, pulling away. As much as Clarke was scared of being with Lexa, the thought of losing the grounder commander again was a much more terrifying thought. She pulled her boots on and began the walk back to her horse, leaving her clothes off so she could dry in the sun. Lexa watched her walk away and slowly let herself sink below the water. The cool water flowed through her hair and she opened her eyes, her vision blurry from the water, stinging her eyes a little bit. Clarke wasn’t allowed to kiss her. The sky commander wasn’t ready and Lexa knew that. She never would be ready and Lexa knew that. She knew what she gave up the moment she chose her people on the mountain. She swam back up to the surface when she felt her lungs burning and swam back to shore, following Clarkes lead and allowing the sun to dry her off, trudging back to the horses where Clarke was waiting, giving the horses some water she had brought back. Lexa walked past her and put her clothing back on, swinging herself up onto her horse.

“Let’s keep going, Clarke.” She stated her voice void of emotion and received no reply. Lexa clenched her jaw and urged her horse to gallop; only glancing behind for a second to make sure Clarke was following.

* * *

 

“Bellamy?” A soft voice called out and Bellamy spun around raising his gun up to his shoulder.

“Who’s there?” He yelled into the shadows between the trees. He was out walking to clear his head, his worry about Clarke overwhelming. A woman stepped out from behind one of the tree’s, her hands held up above her head.

“Don’t shoot me, Bellamy. I just want to talk.” Bellamy squinted, the female voice was familiar. He stumbled backwards, lowering his gun as the moonlight shone onto the grounders face.

“Echo?”

* * *

 

“Lexa, maybe we should stop. It’s getting too dark.” Clarke called out as her horse stumbled on another rock. The trees were few and far apart, but the ground was getting even rockier and Clarke didn’t want her horse to hurt itself. She pulled it to a stop stubbornly and waited for the Commander to realize. When she did, she trotted back with an annoyed expression. Clarke sighed. “Is there a problem Commander?” She asked staring back at the brunette.

“I’m sick of wasting time Clarke. You need that cure and my people need me to return as soon as possible.” Lexa snapped, climbing off her horse and Clarke felt like she was getting hit with the arrows again, but in her chest. She slid off her horse and glared at the commander, feeling anger bubbling up.

“Oh, I know that my life means nothing compared to your people. I’m sorry that the inconvenience of me saving your life is causing you distress.” Clarke snapped back, roughly tying her horse to the tree and stomping over to an area to clear the rocks away. Lexa watched her seething in anger at herself for letting her emotions go so wildly out of control. She felt completely off kilter around Clarke, and was unable to hold anything in. She was frustrated at herself, and she was frustrated at Clarke for not understanding, frustrated at the fates for choosing her as Commander. Lexa growled under her breath.

“I’m getting firewood.” She called out and walked away in a huff. When she knew she was out of sight of Clarke she lent against a tree, letting out a growl before drawing her dagger. She repeatedly stabbed into the tree, clenching down on her teeth and breathing heavily with small sobs escaping on occasion. “Why did the commanders’ spirit choose me?” She muttered out, leaning her head against the tree, the dagger falling from her hand. She didn't have the strength for this. Clarke had thrown her entire being into chaos. She thought she didn't care. She thought she would never have to go through this again after Costia was taken. She couldn't go through the pain again. Lexa took a shuddering breath and wiped her face. She remembered the mantra that she had sworn by after Costia died. Love is weakness. Lexa had to lead, she had to pull through. She was the commander of 12 tribes, and she couldn't be weak. Lexa picked up her dagger, sheathing it, and straightened her shoulders, lifting her chin. She was done being weak. She had lost Clarke, and she knew that. She had known that the moment she accepted the deal. Head over heart. That was her way,that was who she was. Lexa would stand by her choice; the duty to her people came first. Nothing had changed.

* * *

 

Clarke glared at Lexa’s retreating back before angrily setting up her tent. She used a rock to hit the pegs, hitting them harder then what was needed. What was Lexa’s problem? One minute she was hot and next cold. Clarke couldn't keep up with the up and down moods. She wanted to trust Lexa again, and she was working on it but the commander was making it increasingly difficult. She heard Lexa coming back with the wood and grabbed her bag, throwing it in the tent. Lexa dropped the wood loudly on the ground, making Clarke jump and spin around. The brunette was crouched in front of the pile, her face a passive mask as she began to create a spark.

“I’m going to sleep.” Clarke stated, turning back to her tent.

“Without eating food?” Lexa replied coolly. “Do not let your emotions affect your common sense Clarke, you need to eat.” She said, not looking up from her stick.

“I’ll eat the food my people gave me, in my tent.” She replied, waiting for Lexa’s smart-ass comment.

“As you wish. I will keep watch out here.” Was the reply and Clarke sighed, climbing into the tent and grabbing out some strips of dehydrated meat. Within moments the flickering of the fire could be seen through her tent and she lay down, her hand running over the stitches on her shoulder. Lexa stared at the tent through the fire, poking the flames halfheartedly before lying down unable to look at where she knew Clarke was lying and closed her eyes. They needed to speed up their journey.

* * *

 

“Why'd you do it Echo? Both Lexa and Clarke saved your life.” Bellamy asked, leaning against a tree, his gun trained on Echo who sat across from him against another tree. Echo spat to the side, glaring at the sky man.

“I did not shoot Clarke. My warriors reacted when Lexa stabbed me. The commander threw me out to the animals the moment we had retreated from Mount Weather. She does not care about her people. She does not care about my people. She does not care about your people, only her power.” Echo sneered out, and Bellamy could see the hatred in the grounders dark eyes. “I was seen as a threat to her position.”

“Were you in a leadership position?” Bellamy asked, curious about the woman, despite the allegations against her. He couldn't deny he felt a connection with her.

“I was the Ice Nation Queen. Before Commander Lexa banished me.” She answered, looking down. “I did not intend on harming your sky princess. I was simply using her as bait to lure out the commander.” Echo lied, looking up at Bellamy through her lashes. He frowned at her.

“Why would Clarke be bait for the Commander? We aren't in an alliance and Lexa doesn't care for Clarke.” He said, denying the truth that he could see plainly when the girls were together.

“Do you truly believe that, Bellamy of the sky people? Word was that Lexa and Clarke shared a tent many nights before the war. And where are your princess and her commander now?” She asked. Bellamy stood up swiftly aiming the gun at Echo.

“Do you know where they are?” He shouted, shaking slightly. Echo stood up slowly, eyes trained on the gun.

“No. I do not know which way they would have gone to the nation borders, or where they would be now.” She admitted. “My nation is not a small one and we would be unwise to search for them.” Bellamy lowered his gun slowly.

“Then why are you here?” He asked. Echo looked down, her shoulder sagging.

“I have nowhere else I can go. I am injured and I have no weapons. I won’t survive long out here.” She admitted. Bellamy sighed, holding a hand to his forehead.

“I can’t bring you into the camp. I believe you, but my people may not. Clarke is very important to us.” Echo nodded and started to turn to leave. Bellamy gently grabbed her arm, leaning in. “But, if you stay close to our boundaries I can bring you out food and anything else you need. We have sentries, so if you stay just within the tree line they will spot any enemies for you.” He said, with a smile. “At least until I can convince my people to have an audience with you.” Echo smiled back, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Bellamys neck.

“Thank you.” She whispered softly before pulling away. Bellamy glanced at his belt and handed her a walkie talkie he had, turning the dial to a closed line.

“Press this button here and talk into this if you need to reach me.” He said. Echo stared at the radio, her eyes lighting up. Her smile grew and Bellamy dismissed the glint in her eyes for joy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Just want to add some warnings for this chapter including animal death, violence/bit of gore and vomit mentions. Hope you all enjoy despite the warnings lol :)

“Clarke!” Lexa hissed, crouching behind a mossy rock. Clarke rolled her eyes and slunk up behind her as quietly as she could.

“What? I told you I can’t hunt.” She whispered, her eyes still bleary from waking up so early. Lexa looked at her with pointed look before indicating with her head to follow her.

“Make no noise and follow me.” She whispered back. Clarke sighed and tried to step in the same places as Lexa did, knowing her footsteps were heavier than the grounders.

“Lexa, where are we going?” She hissed and Lexa glared back at her and held a finger up. Clarke noticed a glint in her eyes, a slight childish glow. To say she was intrigued was an understatement. Lexa had woken the sky girl up before the sun was even up, claiming they needed to hunt for some food and Clarke had sleepily agreed, regretting her decision immensely. Lexa was beginning to regret the decision as well as Clarke crashed through every bush possible and tripping over rocks.  Lexa held her hand up to stop, dropping behind another rock. Clarke followed her staring at the grounder curiously. Lexa glanced at Clarke and offered her a smile and pointed around the rock. Clarke leant around and felt a smile break her own face. A deer was standing near a small creek drinking, and she was glad to see that it only had one face. Lexa nudged Clarke and pointed a little way away from the drinking deer and to a fawn with another deer that was pushing it up, teaching it to walk. Clarke looked at Lexa with a wide smile on her face as the fawn managed to shakily walk over to its other parent only falling down when it reached it. Lexa leant in toward the blonde, keeping her eyes on the family of deer.

“I wanted to show you that the ground does have beauty in it.” She barely whispered in Clarkes ear, her warm breathe causing goosebumps to explode all over the girl’s body. She continued staring forward. Lexa had felt guilty about her snapping at Clarke, and whilst out hunting alone had stumbled across the deer family.

“I already knew that Lexa.” Clarke replied just as quietly and turned to look at the grounder. “I just never got to see much of it. Thank you.” Lexa’s eyes cast down for a moment in shame and back up.

“Maybe, once we get the cure, I can show you what you have missed out on.” She said nervously, her eyes darting from one of Clarkes to the other, ignoring her own warnings. Clarke smiled somewhat tightlipped and sad.

“Maybe.” She replied with. Lexa nodded, taking the hint and turned back to the deer that were now grazing.

“We should lea-“ Lexa was interrupted by a long and drawn out howl coming from the direction of their horses. The deer family looked up and bounded off in panic, pushing the fawn. Lexa jumped to her feet, her eyes wide.

“Wolves!” She shouted and began sprinting off toward where they had left the horses tied up. Clarke stumbled to her feet and followed not caring how much noise she made. She felt her hip wound aching and stumbled, having to slow down to a limping jog.

“Lexa!” She called out, not to loud to attract the animals’ attention. She heard a snarl and limped toward it, her heart pounding. She had read about wolves’ on the ark and knew they were vicious. She heard a shout from Lexa and tried to increase her speed gritting her teeth through the pain. She burst through the trees and felt her heart stop in fear for a moment before she pulled her gun out. Three wolves were surrounding one of their horses that was on the ground. Well, Clarke assumed they were the wolves but they looked different to what she had seen in books. They were almost as tall as Clarkes chest, with grotesquely long fangs and mangy fur. She suspected the radiation had altered them. She saw Lexa crouching just a little ahead of her, her sword in one hand. The other hand was pressed against her side where Clarke could see the tip of gashes. She slid next to Lexa still pointing her gun at the wolves that had begun to feast. “Lexa, how bad did they get you?” She asked peeling the commanders’ hand away. Lexa shook her head.

“It’s not bad. We cannot let them get the other horse!” She hissed, eyes watching the other horse neighing in fear, tied to a tree a couple of meters away from the pack. Clarke nodded and lifted her gun. Lexa stood up quickly and drew her knife throwing it straight into one of the wolves head, killing it instantly. The other two glanced up from their meal and howled, high pitched and loud. Clarke grimaced at the noise, her arm dropping slightly. Both wolves jumped over the carcass and began running at them. Clarke fired her gun repeatedly at one of the wolves, shots connecting but not slowing it down.  “Clarke!” Lexa called, pushing the blonde to the side. One of the wolves pounced and Lexa put her arm up to defend her face as the wolf crashed into her. Clarke hit the ground hard, her wounded shoulder hitting the corner of a rock and her vision blacked out for a few seconds. She shook her head slightly and saw the second wolf slowly stalking toward her. She raised her gun and fired two rounds directly in its skull and it fell to the ground with a whimper. She glanced over when she heard snarling and felt her body go cold. The remaining wolf was on top of Lexa. She had one hand holding the beasts jaw, and Clarke could see that one of the fangs had pierced through the middle of grounders hand, blood dribbling out of it onto Lexa’s face. The other arm’s armour was torn off, with giant gashes and bite holes. It pushed up against the wolfs neck, holding it back. Clarke pointed her gun and pulled the trigger desperately, to hear a click. It was out of ammo.

“Clarke!” Lexa yelled as the wolf growled and snapped, its jaws centimeters from her face. Clarke climbed to her feet, gritting her teeth against the pain in her hip and pocketed her gun, knowing her spare ammo was in the bag on the remaining horse. A yelp came from the wolf as Lexa managed to knee it in the stomach but was unable to get it off her. Clarke glanced around and spotted Lexa’s sword on the ground and dragged herself toward it, grunting as her shoulder ached to pick it up. It was heavier then she expected. “Clarke, no! Get away!” Lexa yelled and Clarke could hear the fear in her voice. She stumbled as fast as she could toward the wolf and used her shoulder to barge into it. It yelped from the impact and stumble to the side before getting its ground and running toward Clarke. The sky commander steadied herself and as the wolf leapt she thrust the sword forward feeling her shoulders jar as it hit the body. The wolf fell on top of her, dead weight and she blacked out as her head smashed the ground.

 “Clarke?” Lexa yelled out shakily, holding her torn hand to her chest, and dragged herself over to the blonde. “Clarke, please be alive.” She whispered, her voice thick with worry. With a grunt she used her shoulder to shove the heavy wolf body off of the sky leader, her body weak from the blood loss from her hand and torn arm. The wolf had Lexa’s sword directly through its chest. She bent over Clarke, tapping the side of her face gently. “Clarke wake up!” Lexa glanced up as a long howl rang out in the distance and panic set in. “We have got to move before the rest of the pack get here!” She shouted, shaking Clarke, her breathing labored. She could hear the howls getting louder and swore in her language under her breath. She quickly ripped a strip of cloth off of her undershirt, tying a makeshift bandage tightly around her hand. She glanced at her other torn arm, grimacing at the damage before pulling her sword out of the wolf’s body and sheathing it. Clarke moaned quietly, her head lolling slightly. Lexa gritted her teeth and slid her arms underneath the girl, lifting her up with a cry of pain, her arm tearing open further. She bit her tongue in pain, holstering Clarke up and strode toward the frightened horse, her breathing labored.

“Lexa.” Clarke groaned her eyes fluttering open, glancing around in confusion before grabbing her shoulder with a yelp. Lexa glanced down and felt relief flood through her body.

“You’re okay Clarke. But I need to get you on the horse. We cannot stay here any longer, these wolves are not alone.” She gasped out, feeling her legs shaking. Her energy was dropping from her blood loss. Clarke’s eyes shifted to the cloth on Lexa’s hand which was soaked red with blood and frowned.

“You’re hurt Lexa, I need to fix that.” Clarke slurred, before her head dropped backwards unconscious. Lexa let out a sob of exhaustion as she reached the horse and struggled to lift Clarke’s deadweight up, blood from her torn arm streaming. She managed to flop the blonde over the horse on her stomach, and cried out in pain as she pulled herself up and leant her head on Clarkes back. Another high pitched howl rang out and Lexa straightened up, pulling Clarke into sitting position in front of her, using her arms to hold the girl. She kicked her heels into the horse and spun it around to face where they had come from, knowing the forest was less suited for the giant wolves to hunt in then the rocky clearings they were in now.

Clarke groaned and opened her eyes, feeling burning in her shoulder and felt her stomach churn as she bounced up and down, her head spinning. She leant over the side of the horse and retched, vomiting acid. She sat up again wiping her mouth and felt the arms holding her up slacken.

“Lexa?” She enquired trying to get a hold of the situation. The grounder didn’t reply and Clarke noticed the reigns had dropped, the horse running in wild panic. She felt Lexa’s head on her shoulder and glanced at the grounders arm which was bleeding freely. “Lexa! Wake up!” She shouted, grabbing the reigns to try and slow the horse, one hand holding Lexa’s arm around her so she didn’t slip off the horse. She heard snarling behind her and quickly glanced to see four more wolves following and urged the horse faster, kicking her heels in. She directed it towards more closely packed trees, hoping the branches weren’t low hanging. She could feel Lexa slipping behind her and grit her teeth, dropping the reigns to pull both of the girls’ arms around her to ensure the grounder did not fall. She allowed the horse to run where it wanted as it panicked to get away from the wolves. Clarke glanced back as the trees got thicker and the wolves slowed down. She looked back forward and gasped as a branch sliced above her eye, hot blood trickling into it. Her horse jumped a small ravine and skidded to a stop throwing both Lexa and Clarke from it. Clarke hit the ground hard, her eyes blurred as she watched the horse trot away. She heard howls in the distance as her eyes rolled back in her head and she lost consciousness.

* * *

 

Clarke groaned and opened her eyes, her entire body aching. She sat up slowly, clutching her pounding head and glanced around. She spotted Lexa next to her, her arm slung over her head.

“Lexa, oh my god!” She shouted crawling over to the grounder ignoring her body pains. She gently grabbed the girls’ torn arm, grimacing at how deep the lacerations were and rolled her over onto her back. Lexa’s face was white and she had a wound on her forehead and Clarke felt her chest ease slightly when she saw the girl breathing. She went back to focusing on the arm, tearing the strips of fabric away to assess the damage. She could tell that no arteries were severed but the wounds were still bleeding a small amount. Clarke glanced around looking for her bag and felt her stomach drop when she remembered their horse running off, the bags still strapped to it. “My medical kit, and the ammo.” She breathed, panic beginning to set in. She knew her own stitches were busted and would need fixing, let alone the mess that Lexa was in.

“Clarke.” Lexa groaned out and tried to sit up. “You’re okay? What happened?” Clarke gently held the grounder down.

“I’m fine. We need to concentrate on you.” She insisted and Lexa complied, her face screwing up in pain. “I really need to wash your arm and hand.” Clarke muttered looking at the dirt in the wounds, before ripping off a section of her shirt and messily wrapping it around the arm to cover it and stop the bleeding. She could feel her stomach churning again, and she knew it wasn’t because of the wounds. She quickly got to her feet and vomited in a bush away from Lexa. Her body felt weak and she was dizzy.

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” Lexa called out, sitting up and looking at the blonde with concern. Clarke wiped her mouth quickly and threw a small reassuring smile at Lexa.

“Probably just a concussion. Do you think you can walk?” She explained, walking shaky legged back to Lexa who nodded. She helped the grounder to her feet and looped her arm over her shoulder, being careful of her own wounds.

“There is probably a water source this way.” Lexa said, nodding with her head to where the vegetation was a lot greener. Clarke nodded and they began limping toward it. “Where is our horse?” Lexa asked, realization kicking in. “Did it run away with our bags?” Clarke nodded slowly, her face pale.

“It kicked us when the wolves were chasing us and ran.” She explained. Lexa clenched her jaw, face still screwed up in pain.

“Without the horse we won’t reach the cure in time.” She mumbled and Clarke could hear the fear in her voice. She had already come to that realization herself, and suspected from how her body was feeling and the vomiting that they didn’t have as much time as Nyko had suspected.

“Hey, we need to concentrate on you first. I need to clean up your wounds or they’ll get infected.” She said, trying to divert the commanders attention off her. She gently lowered Lexa to the ground at the edge of the water and began lightly washing her arm, using the ripped shirt as a cloth. Lexa grit her teeth in pain but made no noise, watching Clarke intensely.

“I will not let you die Clarke.” She stated and the blonde sighed. “I should not have confronted the wolves. But I feared for the horses. Without them we would not reach the cure in time.” Clarke continued gently cleaning the wounds, avoiding Lexa’s gaze. “And now we have lost them, our supplies and I put you in excess danger. I let my emotions rule me, and this is what happened.” She said, her voice quiet. Clarke sighed and finally looked at the commander.

“In your defense Lexa, you left me to die on a mountain when you chose to not let your emotions rule you.” She stated, going back to her bathing of the wounds. She unwrapped Lexa’s hand, grimacing at the mess of congealed blood and flesh.

“Was that supposed to make me feel better?” Lexa said sarcastically, before inhaling in pain as Clarke began washing her hand. The sky girl half shrugged and looked up at Lexa with a lost expression.

“I don’t know to be honest. At least we’re both alive, right? We survived, again.” She muttered and Lexa stared back, a very small, sad smile twitching her lips.

“But for how long?” She whispered and Clarke shook her head and looked down, her eyes burning. Lexa’s hand was cleaned and she could see that while the wolf’s fang had torn through her hand it wasn’t bad and that the rest were just surface wounds. She rinsed out the two pieces of shirt and laid them out on a flat rock to dry in the small bit of sun that was shining through the tree tops. She glanced at the grounder noticing the blood caked on her face.

“We should both bathe while we can.” She said tiredly and tried to lift her shirt up, dropping her arms quickly with a yelp as her shoulder hurt. Lexa leant forward in concern.

“Let me help.” She offered and Clarke nodded, allowing Lexa to lift her shirt up and bent over so she could it off her without having to lift her arms up into the air. She then allowed Lexa to help her wiggle out of her pants. She glanced up, face inches away from the bloodied grounders face and felt her heart race, despite the ache of her body. Lexa stared back at her, her eyes soft with emotion, before breaking gaze to pick up one of the rags. Clarke watched Lexa wet the rag and turn back to her, her eyes glancing down at the wound on her shoulder. “I can wash it for you.” She offered, searching Clarkes eyes for confirmation, and the blonde shook her head.

“No, it’ll be easier if I just submerge myself.” She said and Lexa nodded, taking a step back. She put the rag back down and carefully pulled her own clothes off before picking it up again. Clarke glanced at the claw marks across her ribs and belly. “You need to wash them as well.” She said, and very softly ran the tips of her fingers across the toned belly and ribs of the commander, careful not to touch the open wounds but checked the severity of them, leaning in slightly. Lexa caught her breath at the touch and nodded. Clarke glanced up catching the commanders gaze and straightened up quickly averting her our eyes. Lexa turned to the water and waded in, hissing as it touched her ribs. Clarke followed, conscious of how deep it was getting. Lexa noticed and smiled at her.

“It’s ok Clarke. We survived three wolves. I am not going to let you drown now.” She said with humor and Clarke shot her a disgruntled look. “Maybe if you had let me teach you to swim instead of storming off yesterday it would not be an issue.” She continued.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have-“ Clarke retorted and quickly shut her mouth mid-sentence. She wasn’t about to let Lexa know that the reason she had stormed off was because Lexa had rejected her approach for a kiss. Lexa looked at her with a curious expression and lowered herself into the water until it was just her head and waited for Clarke to reach her. “It doesn’t matter anyway.” Clarke muttered, grimacing as she splashed water onto the wound. Lexa swam behind her and stood up, stepping close. “What are you doing?” Clarke asked quickly, turning slightly to look behind her. Lexa was staring at her shoulder, her face conflicted.

“I’m going to wash the back of your shoulder and your head wound Clarke.” She stated, and waited until Clarke nodded before she gently began to wipe at the now open wound. One stitch remained, but Lexa could see that the impact of Clarke hitting the ground with the wolf’s weight had severely bruised it, and that the area around the wound was starting to darken, and very small purple lines were stemming from it. “The antidote is wearing off.” She barely whispered, but Clarke could feel her breath on her neck and stared forward as Lexa continued to wipe the wound, barely feeling due to the lightness of the commanders touch. The blonde swallowed thickly.

“I guess Nyko got the calculations wrong, hey.” She said back, trying to keep her voice light and got no reply from Lexa. She felt the grounder step away, feeling colder as she did.

“We need to get moving, right now.” Came the harsh reply and Clarke turned around. Lexa was using her uninjured hand to wash away the blood from her face, cringing whenever the dirty water touched her arm. Clarke nodded and followed Lexa’s lead, washing her face, her forehead and cheek stinging a little from the cuts that were there. She followed Lexa as the commander strode out of the water, her face a mask.

“Lexa, wait. I need to cover your wounds.” She stated and rung out the cloth’s and made sure that no open wound was uncovered. “Hopefully that’ll stop any infections and make sure they don’t start bleeding again.” She said, and Lexa nodded before walking to her clothes and pulling them on, despite them being torn and covered in dirt and blood. Clarke followed suit, but ripped holes where her wounds were, ensuring that none of the dirty clothes were touching the wounds. Lexa looked around, and glanced up at the sun.

“We should be able to cover some ground before night falls.” She stated, struggling to tie her sword belt on. Clarke nodded wearily, unable to fight. Lexa looked at her with concern, her own body exhausted. It was late afternoon and she knew they should rest, but she could see the purple wound on Clarke shoulder. They had no time. Lexa began leading the way, trudging over rocks and heading north. Clarke followed, her head down, cold sweat covering her exhausted body.

* * *

 

Echo heard the crackle of her walkie talkie and held it up to her mouth.

“Report.” She snapped, glaring out into the forest. She hated trees, hated the constant shadows they cast.

“We captured another three of the sky guards. They do not seem to be aware.” The static voice responded and Echo ground her teeth together.

“Keep them tied up, but DO NOT harm them.” She commanded, hastily turning the radio off when she heard footsteps coming and spun around. Bellamy stepped out from behind a thick tree, his gun strapped around his chest as usual. He looked at the grounder suspiciously.

“Did I just hear you speaking to someone?” He said, glancing around the small clearing. Echo shook her head before sitting down in front of her fire. Bellamy took another look around and sat next to her, dropping his bag in front of them. “I thought I could eat with you tonight.” He offered, sorting through his bag. Echo looked at him with a curious expression.

“Have you told your people about me yet?” She asked, accepting the food from him, her lip curling slightly at the canned fish. He sighed and lent back.

“No. We still have had no word of Clarke, or Lexa. We can’t leave our camp to search from Clarke because the grounders will kill us again. The alliance is over.” He murmured, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Why does she have to be so stubborn!” He groaned and Echo narrowed her eyes at him, then laid a hand on his leg, rubbing a small circle on it.

“She will be okay, Bellamy.” She tried to reassure. Bellamy glared at her.

“We wouldn’t be in this position if you hadn’t kidnapped and tortured her.” He stated, pushing the grounders hand off his leg. Echo clenched her mouth shut to hold back her comment and looked at him in the eyes.

“I have apologized for that. I had no intention of harming her.” She stated, again. Bellamy stared back and shook his head, standing up.

“Have you seen my radio? I can’t find it.” He asked, noticing hers sitting on the ground. She shook her head. “Okay. I can’t find it, so for now I won’t be able to contact you on it.” He said. “I am going to talk to my people about you tomorrow morning.” He said before turning to walk away. She grabbed his hand quickly and stopped him.

“Thank you.” She said and lent up and kissed him softly on the mouth. They broke apart and Bellamy stared at her, his eyes dark before nodding and leaving. Echo turned back to her radio and turned it on. “I need you to find Clarke and Lexa immediately. Send more warriors to trace them, now!” She shouted and slammed her fist into the tree. “I’m running out of time.” She hissed, glaring through the trees at the sky peoples camp. She needed to get in there, and soon.

* * *

 

“Lexa we need to rest. I can’t keep going.” Clarke muttered out, her feet dragging. It was dark and they had been pushing their bodies to keep walking along the riverbank. Lexa turned, her face white by the moons light with black rings under them from anemia. She nodded and glanced around.

“We should collect some water and camp further in the trees where it’s safer.” She said, looking around for something to cup the water with. Clarke nodded, feeling sick again. Lexa found a weathered rock that had worn down into a slight dip and filled it with water before turning when she heard retching. Clarke was on her knees bent over, coughing up a white liquid. “Clarke!” She called, hurrying over and putting the rock down gently and kneeling next the sky girl. She rubbed Clarke’s back, powerless to help her, guilt eating at her insides.

“I’m okay, Lexa. It’s just my body rejecting the poison.” Clarke explained, panting slightly. Lexa offered her the water and she accepted it gratefully, swallowing a few sips. “Thank-you.” She said before standing up and glancing around. She squinted slightly, noticing a weird glow coming from some closely knit trees near the river edge. Lexa followed her gaze. “What is that?” The sky girl questioned, glancing at the grounder for answers and was surprised to see a mixed expression on her face. She began walking toward the glow and Clarke had no option but to follow. They pushed through the trees and a smile broke out on Clarkes face at the sight. Blue glowing mushrooms covered logs on the ground and were growing up in the trees. Lexa stared at them with a small smile before glancing at the look on Clarkes face.

“Clarke, are you ok?” She asked, worried. There were tears in the girls’ eyes as she stared in wonder. Clarke looked at her and sniffed with a slight laugh.

“The first night I had on earth, I saw mushrooms that were exactly like this.” She said and walked over to a log, and sat down leaning against it. Lexa watched her unmoving. “Finn and I. We were the only two awake to see it.” She said, her voice reminiscent. Lexa inhaled sharply, tearing her gaze away from Clarke. She walked over to a group of them and placed her palms on the log, being careful to not put weight on her injured hand and kept her back to Clarke.

“That would have been a calming night for you then, Clarke.” She muttered softly, guilt threatening to overwhelm her. Clarke frowned.

“I guess they were beautiful, so that was calming?” She said questionably. Lexa glanced at her.

“I would assume that because it was your first night that you were cautious of things?” She asked, turning back around to gauge the other girls reactions. Clarke narrowed her eyes at the grounder. Lexa sighed. “These mushrooms release a spore when hit that has a calming effect on humans and animals. Healers use it when warriors have been mentally damaged. It calms them.” She explained, and gently tapped one of the mushrooms next to her. Glowing blue spores erupted from it and floated in the air. Clarke smiled widely and stood up, walking over to Lexa.

“So they get you high?” She asked with a small laugh, watching the spores float up in the air. Lexa gazed at her, her heart pounding. The blue reflected in the sky girls eyes, making the already breathtaking blue clearer and she could see blue spores settling in the blonde of her hair. Clarke turned to catch the commander gazing at her, matched the gaze. Lexa smiled slightly.

“Would you like to try it? It might help with the sickness.” She asked and Clarke shrugged.

“May as well.” She replied and Lexa nodded, drawing her sword. Clarke stepped back and Lexa began hitting the tree trunks causing explosions of spores to fill the air. They floated down softly, glowing like falling stars. A smile erupted on Clarkes face as she breathed them in, staring up as they fell. Lexa felt a smile tug at her own lips, her eyes trained on the girl in front of her. She could feel her body relaxing and let the smile go. Clarke spun around once and stumbled slightly before turning her gaze to Lexa who was smiling at her. The blonde could feel her heart beating faster at the sight. While she had seen a fair few smiles directed at her, she had yet to see a full genuine smile from the commander. The smile lit up the girls’ eyes more than the blue glow of the mushrooms and Clarke felt herself getting lost in the green. “Beautiful.” She whispered. Lexa glanced away for moment before glancing back, her smile dropping to a small smirk, her gaze intense.

“Clarke, you have spores all over you.” She said, taking a step forward into Clarkes personal space. The sky girl caught her breath as the commander reached forward and used her thumb to brush spores off her face. Clarke could feel warmth left behind as Lexa dropped her hand, but remained standing close, her eyes heavy lidded and dropping from Clarke’s eyes to her lips. Lexa knew she shouldn’t be there, that she should turn away right now, but the calm of the spores and the warmth of Clarkes eyes made her feel safe.

“Do you do this often?” Clarke broke the silence, her eyes darting all over Lexa’s face, her eyes, her lips, her cheeks. They were barely inches apart, almost breathing each other’s air. Lexa drew back suddenly, turning her head away with an inhalation of breath before walking over to a log and sitting down, leaning back against it. She untied her sword and placed it next to her and looked up at the falling spores. Clarke glanced at her curiously and followed her, sliding down to sit next to her. Lexa tilted her head forward, avoiding the other girls unwavering gaze. She swallowed thickly, feeling her heart hurt.

“I haven’t for a long time. Back when I had just been chosen to lead, I was scared.” She began explaining, her voice soft. “So I snuck out of my quarters in Polis and ran into the forest nearby. I got lost and stumbled upon a clearing, just like this.” Lexa glanced at Clarke and away again, a sad smile on her face. “That’s where I met Costia. She was collecting spores, because she was a healer.” Clarke felt a pain in her chest and leant back against the log, tearing her gaze from Lexa as she saw tears well up in the girls eyes. “Whenever I got overwhelmed by my duties, we used to run away together and spend the night in that place where we met.” Lexa smiled, a genuine smile, blinking away her tears and glanced at Clarke. “I have not had any spores since Costia was taken from me.” She said and Clarke rolled her head around to meet Lexa’s gaze. They both had their heads leaning back gazing at each other.

“Do I remind you of her?” Clarke asked quietly, unsure of what she wanted the answer to be. Lexa stared at her for a moment, and let out a small laugh, sending Clarkes heart racing.

“No, Clarke. Not at all. The only thing you and Costia have in common is that you are both healers.” She explained with slight mockery in her voice and Clarke frowned.

“I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.” She said narrowing her eyes at the commander. Lexa smirked.

“It is neither.” She said simply and the two girls both fell into comfortable silence.

“Thank-you Lexa. For telling me that.” Clarke said, breaking the silence and Lexa nodded, finally breaking their gaze to look forward again. “I know that must be difficult for you to talk about.” She continued. Lexa nodded and Clarke could see her jaw muscles working and sat forward slightly. “Lexa?” She queried. The commander took a sharp breath and turned to the blonde, her eyes heavy lidded again.

“I’m sorry Clarke.” She whispered. Clarke leant forward and captured Lexas’ lips with her own, her eyes closing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys i am SOO sorry for the slow update. I've been hectic busy with work and Uni and stuff. In other news i totally met Bob Morley (Bellamy) last weekend. Was fricken amazing! Anyways, sorry for the delay and the short chapter. I'll try harder to get them our faster and be longer.

Lexa gasped slightly into the kiss, but reciprocated it, reveling in the feeling of the sky girls’ lips again. She felt Clarke open her mouth slightly and pulled back quickly, opening her eyes to see the hurt on the blonde’s face. She shook her head slightly, tears burning her eyes.

“You do not want this Clarke.” She whispered. “You know what I did, who I am.” Clarke shook her head angrily, breathing heavily.

“No, you don’t get to tell me what I want!” She hissed, staring at Lexa desperately. “You told me you cared about me. You told me that you let 250 people, most of which were you own, burn to save me.” She shouted, not caring about the tears falling from her eyes, mixing with the very few remaining falling spores. Her throat felt raw, her chest heaving with emotion. “YOU kissed ME!” Lexa struggled to keep her face passive, feeling her throat closing over with emotion, but returned Clarke’s unwavering stare. “You kissed me, offered for me to join you in your capitol and then left me to die.” Clarke’s voice faltered at the end and she stared in desperation at Lexa, her eyes asking for something from the commander. Lexa swallowed thickly.

“I chose my head ov-“

“Yeah I know. Your head over your heart.” Clarke interrupted and chuckled darkly. “Just like I did when I irradiated an entire mountain full of people, most of them innocent. You can’t keep hiding behind that excuse, Lexa.” She muttered and lent back against their log. She glanced at Lexa and away again, unable to meet the commander’s steady gaze. “Before you kissed me, I asked if we deserved more than to just survive, do you remember?” She asked.

“Yes. I remember all of our conversations Clarke.” Lexa replied quietly. Clarke’s lip twitched upward.

“Do you think we do?” She asked and Lexa frowned slightly. “Do you believe that we deserve to even survive after the things we’ve done?” Lexa fell silent, staring at the ground. 

“Our people deserve to survive.” She answered softly. “They deserve to live in peace, in freedom. They deserve to love, because that is what we fight for.” Clarke felt her eyes burning again and squeezed them shut.

“And we bear the pain so they don’t have to.” She whispered the words that the president had told her, the words that she had repeated to Bellamy. Lexa nodded slowly, watching Clarke’s face relax and the sky girl opened her eyes to stare up at the sky.

“We are leaders Clarke. To lead we must give up the parts of ourselves that may cause weakness.” Lexa repeated and Clarke nodded, still staring at the sky.

“I know.” She responded dully. Lexa watched her, waiting for her to continue. “Sometimes I wonder if I would have preferred to have stayed in the sky. To have died in space. Floated like my father.” She said quietly, a small somewhat whimsical smile playing on her lips. She gently caressed the grass beneath her hand, never looking away from the sky. “But at the same time, despite everything, I can’t imagine not having experienced earth, its beauties and its horrors. I just wish I could have witnessed it the way it used to be.” She finished quietly, a slight crack in her voice. Lexa could see the night stars reflected in the girls blue eyes, staring in wonder.

“I heard that wars worse than ours ruined earth. That we destroyed it.” Lexa responded. “Tales passed down of greedy and spiteful men. Corrupted leaderships that destroyed their own people. Groups of humans that hated and belittled other humans based on their gender, their skin colour, and other trivial characteristics.” Clarke glanced at Lexa with a frown.

“Why? That doesn’t make sense. ” She queried.

“I am unsure. In a sense, is that not the same as us separating ourselves into Skaikru, Mounon and Trikru? Or the 12 clans? Are we not all the same humanity?” Lexa responded with slight butterflies in her stomach. She had not discussed this with anyone except Costia. Clarke heard the grounder inhale sharply, aware that Lexa did that when she was nervous and watched her curiously. “I believe that in order for the world to survive, we must be at peace with one another. That we must learn to live together. While our customs and traditions are different, are we not the same? Are we so different that we cannot respect and learn from each other? I do not believe that.” Lexa said with a slight rush. Clarke smiled and looked back toward the sky as Lexa quickly and awkwardly stood up and began hitting the trees with her sword again, causing more spores to fall.

“My dad wanted all the people of the ark to come together before he died. He thought that the only way we would be able to get through it was by coming together, workers and privileged.” Her voice wavered slightly. “So did Finn.” Lexa tightened her lips, feeling a small amount of guilt. “He was the one that organized the original meeting with Anya. He wanted peace more than anything.” Clarke continued, watching Lexa.

“Yet he murdered 18 of my people in cold blood.” Lexa replied tightly. “There is no excuse for murder. They were unarmed and it was not a war battle.” Clarke sighed.

“I know. Nothing can excuse his actions. He became something else.” She hesitated for a moment. “I don’t blame you for his death, Lexa.” She finished and Lexa stayed silent. “I blame myself.” Lexa glared at her.

“Then you are foolish. His actions are his own. He made the conscious decision to pull the trigger on those accursed weapons.” Lexa snapped, glaring at the weapon next to Clarke.

“Guns aren’t the enemy.” Clarke retaliated, picking hers up and looking at it. “They are protection.” Lexa scoffed.

“They may not be the enemy but they enable good people to massacre.” She said back, still eyeing the weapon. “There is a great difference between wielding a sword or bow and arrow in battle Clarke, then a weapon that you simply pull a trigger.” Clarke narrowed her eyes at Lexa.

“In what way? They both take lives.” She snapped, feeling frustrated. She took a deep breath, inhaling more spores to calm herself. Lexa laid her sword across her lap as she sat down again, running her fingers along the sheath of it.

“You have to make a conscious decision before killing someone with a sword. You have time to think before you draw it, and the same with a bow and arrow. You have to draw it back and in that time, you can think.” She looked at Clarke who was watching her. “With a gun, you have the option of firing immediately, without thought of consequence. That, is what Finn did. And that is why his life is over.” She finished, putting her sword back down. Clarke remained silent, chewing her lip in thought. Lexa sighed, and began taking the braids out of her hair, aware that their conversation was finished. She ran her fingers through her knotted hair, straightening it out. Clarke looked over and felt her heart skip. Lexa’s hair fell in long waves around her face, framing it. She looked younger and more innocent, her green eyes contrasting the brown hair. She watched in wonder as Lexa began to re-braid her hair, pulling it back only slightly compared to her normal fierce style.

“Do your braids signify anything?” She asked quickly, watching the finesse of Lexa’s fingers.

“What do you mean, Clarke?” She asked in slight confusion.

“Do your leaders and warriors have certain styled braids to indicate power, or something like that?” Clarke asked, slightly embarrassed now that she’d said it out loud. Lexa smiled slightly, finishing her braids. They pulled the hair back from her face but only the sides. It was not as tightly held back as usual and Clarke was shocked at how much it changed her demeanor. She wondered if this was what Lexa looked like before she was called to lead. Softer and less hardened by her role.

“Not exactly. Our hair is styled for practicality. Although those in leadership positions do have more intricate braids.” Lexa explained, and hesitated for a moment, swallowing slightly. Clarke watched her curiously. “Would you like me to braid yours?” She asked quietly and Clarke couldn’t help but smile slightly at the grounders nervousness. She nodded and undid her own hair, running her fingers through the knots. Lexa cleared her throat and stood up, waiting for Clarke to move forward slightly so she could sit down behind her. She crossed her legs as she seated and ran her roughened hands through the sky girls blonde hair. Clarke closed her eyes in contentment as Lexa pulled strands back and began braiding the small amount of hair that she normally pulled back off her face. She could feel her heart racing at the gentle touch and felt her body relaxing, her worries leaving with each stroke through her hair. She tightened her lips and began humming, a tune from a movie she couldn’t remember the name of. Lexa felt her heart begin pounding and was mesmerized by the sound of Clarkes voice, her fingers slowed slightly in the girls hair, not wanting to rush this moment that she had thought would never happen. She closed her eyes, letting her fingers work from memory as she listened to the sky girls sweet voice. Clarke kept humming until she felt Lexa’s hands leave her hair, and felt suddenly lonely without the touch. Lexa cleared her throat and stood up, returning to her spot against the log, but Clarke was aware that she was sitting closer, their shoulders almost touching. She turned to catch the intense stare from the grounder.

“Was that what you call singing?” Lexa asked quietly. Clarke shook her head with a small smile.

“In a sense I guess. That was humming, singing is generally with words.” She explained, and then yawned, suddenly feeling fatigue wash over her. Lexa glanced away quickly.

“We should rest. We need to get moving as soon as it is light.” She said and Clarke nodded in agreement, staring at Lexa for a few seconds.

“How old are you?” She asked suddenly, and Lexa returned her steady gaze.

“We do not worry ourselves with trivial things as age, Clarke. Age does not define a person. We begin training as soon as we are able, as I said before when you asked about my parents.” She explained and Clarke nodded.

“I guess you wouldn’t follow time like we do?” She pressed and Lexa shook her head.

“Time is only relevant in planning battle and knowing when to strike. Otherwise, we do what we want when we want.” The grounder smirked slightly. “Right now, we are wasting much needed time for sleep. So good night, Clarke.” She finished and turned away to rest her head against the log and closed her eyes. Clarke looked at her for a moment longer, feeling loneliness claw in her belly again. She laid down on her back, grunting slightly in pain as her shoulder touched the ground. There was a thick pulsating feeling coming from her shoulder and hip and she grimaced as she lifted her shirt to look at her hip, glancing to make sure Lexa’s eyes were still closed. The sight of her hip made her stomach churn and she clenched her eyes shut for a moment before sitting up slightly to look at it better. Angry purple veins ran out from the wound which was a dark red and Clarke could see white pus seeping out from the remaining stitches. She bit her lip and pulled her shirt back down before rolling on her other side. The spores were keeping the pain at bay, but she knew that she was running out of time. It didn’t matter that the poison wasn’t ultimately fatal itself; the infection would kill her in a matter of days as her immune system shut down. Clarke clenched her eyes shut and willed sleep to take her away. Lexa tried to keep her breathing steady as panic flared in her chest. She had snuck a look at Clarke’s hip and seeing the state it was in, they were running out of time and she had no idea where they were in terms of reaching the Ice Nation. She clenched her eyes shut, running her options through her mind. There weren’t many.

* * *

 

Lexa woke suddenly, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes. She glanced around to try and orientate herself and seek out the noise that had woken her. She felt something nudge her leg and glanced down. Clarke was twitching and moaning next to her, her body shaking violently.  Lexa could see sheen of sweat on her brow and quickly stood up and crouched behind the sky girl.

“Clarke! Wake up!” She hissed loudly, gently shaking the sky girl. Clarke moaned again, and Lexa noticed tears staining her face. She rolled the blonde onto her back, gently tapping her cheek. “Wake up!” She almost shouted. The blue glow of the mushrooms made the girls already pale face gaunt and Lexa could feel panic curling in her stomach. Battles, strategy and leadership she could do. But what Clarke needed was a healer, and Lexa was far from able to help. She shook the girl again as the sky leader mumbled incomprehensible words and tears kept leaking from her eyes.

“I thought you cared!” Clarke shouted suddenly and her blue eyes shot wide open. Lexa fell backward in shock as Clarke’s arm swung up and punched her in the jaw. She held a hand up to her throbbing jaw in reaction before leaning forward as Clarke sat up. “Lexa!” She exclaimed, her eyes widening. “Are you ok?” She asked, lifting her hand to touch the grounders face, confusion at what was going on. Lexa nodded, a small smile gracing her face.

“I would assume that you were not having a pleasant dream.” She replied, gasping slightly at how cold Clarke’s hand was as it rested against her cheek. Tear were still brimming in Clarke’s eyes and she quickly withdrew her hand and turned away.

“More of a memory then a dream. I get them most nights.” Clarke explained, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and shivering. She glanced at Lexa who was watching her, a concerned expression on her face. “Aren’t you cold?” She stuttered out through chattering teeth. Lexa shook her head and stood up quickly.

“I will go and collect wood for a fire. You should have some more spores and try rest some more.” She stated and turned to walk away but stopped as Clarke’s clammy hand grabbed her wrist. She glanced down at the blonde, her heart twisting at the look of despair and pain on Clarke’s face. The sky princess shook her head, clenching her jaw.

“Stay with me please. I don’t want to be alone right now.” Her voice was quiet, and Lexa inhaled sharply before turning back around.

“You need warmth, Clarke. I will be right back to create a fire.” She reiterated. “I’m not going anywhere.” She said softly. Clarke stared at her desperately, and Lexa could see that her eyes were glassy. She leant forward and gently touched a hand against the girls forehead. Her skin was warm and clammy and Lexa assumed she would have a fever.

“I can’t handle watching you walk away again.” Clarke suddenly admitted, dropping her eyes away from Lexa’s stare. Her head was spinning and her body weak and Clarke was struggling to get her thoughts in order. She knew that it was the fever talking but she couldn’t hold her tongue. “Every time you turn your back on me, every time you walk away I feel like I’m back on Mount Weather again.” She looked back up catching Lexa’s gaze as the grounder leader crouched down to Clarke’s level, her jaw muscles working furiously. “I’m scared you’ll walk away and this time permanently.” She whispered, leaning on her good arm as her energy dwindled. Lexa watched as Clarke’s eyelids began dropping. She quickly scooted next to the other girl and gently guided Clarkes head to her lap, her fingers stroking the blonde hair.

“I am not leaving you, Clarke.” She whispered, her gaze intent on the sky girls head resting in her lap. She could see that Clarke’s breathing was slowing and continued to stroke her hair, resting her injured arm on the girl’s torso.

“How can I believe you, Lexa?” Clarke breathed out, her voice shaking with emotion. “How can I trust you ever gain?” Lexa felt a sob rise up in her throat but swallowed it down, breathing deeply and looking up to the sky as tears streamed down her face.

“You cannot.” She whispered, and got no response from the blonde who was fast asleep.

* * *

 

Echo paced back and forth, waiting for Bellamy. She glanced at the tree she hid her radio, ensuring he would not be able to spot it.

“Echo.” Bellamy’s rough voice caused the grounder to turn and she nodded toward him. He embraced her quickly before breaking away. “We have sent out a search party to look for Clarke and Lexa. Abby made the decision. We have already wasted too much time.” He explained gruffly and Echo could tell he was annoyed that he was not included in the search party. “We are also missing 3 of our sentries.” He stopped for a second, narrowing his eyes slightly. “Do you know anything about that?” He accused and Echo stared back, faking insult.

“No. Would I be here if I had the power to take down 3 sentries?” She snapped and Bellamy studied her for a few seconds longer before looking away.

“What do you want Echo?” He said tiredly. Echo bit her lip, thinking how to answer. A sly grin lifted her lip before she pulled a mask back in place.

“I need your peoples healing expertise.” She admitted the lie quietly, keeping her eyes downcast. “My wounds are festering, and I am unsure how long I will last.” She continued lying, holding her hand up to her injured shoulder. “I have no access to a healer, and I thought I would be fine to allow time to heal it, but I am not so lucky.” She said, staring at Bellamy. The sky leader stared at her and sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

“I have not had an opportunity to speak to Abby or Kane about you, and I really do not believe that they will allow you in.” He responded. Echo clenched her jaw, mild panic flaring in her stomach. If she couldn’t get in the camp… “But, I do believe Abby will agree to treat you, if you agree to leave the camp immediately.” He continued, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“That is more than I could ask for, and I will agree to the terms that she sets down.” Echo responded. Bellamy nodded.

“I will have to somehow turn the power off the fence and sneak you in. Will you be ok until tomorrow night?” He enquired and Echo nodded. He leant down and kissed her roughly on the lips before turning to leave. “I will come back early tomorrow night to discuss how we are going to sneak you in. Be ready.” He said and walked away. Echo grinned wickedly and waited until he had left before grabbing the radio and switching it on.

“Ensure that the sentries continue following Clarke and Lexa, and kill any sky people or Trikru that try and interfere. The plan starts tomorrow night. Prepare yourselves.” She commanded, staring down at the lit up ark. “I will make you suffer, Lexa.” She snarled under her breath.      


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you're still enjoying, sorry about the slow updates. Just letting you know that any dialogue that is in Italics is the character speaking in Trigedesleng. It's too much to translate and some words don't exist so yeah, had to do it that way. Enjoy :)

Clarke opened her eyes slowly, blinking in the morning sun. She tried to snuggle her face into her pillow before realising she was laying on Lexa’s lap. She shot up quickly and put a hand to her head as it spun, looking at the grounder with one eye opened. Lexa looked back at her with a mixture of slight amusement and concern.

“Good morning, Clarke.” She said simply and stood up to stretch. Clarke watched her walk over to where her sword was and strapped it around her shoulder.

“Do you ever sleep Lexa?”  She asked, her voice hoarse. “Every time I wake up you’re bright eyed and awake.” Lexa shot her a condescending look.

“Of course I do.” Was all she responded with and Clarke looked at her with scepticism before pushing herself to her feet with a grunt, using the log to hold her up as her head spun.

“So, Commander. What’s the plan? Are we going to walk the rest of the way to the Ice Nation? Because, to be honest, I’m not feeling very well.” Clarke said, trying to keep the admission humorous. Lexa studied her for a moment her face clearly showing no amusement. She turned away from Clarke and began busying herself with yanking mushrooms out of a nearby tree, careful not to bump the spores.

“I am tempted to say you should stay here and I will search for a village to acquire a horse but you are stubborn and that would be pointless.” She offered and Clarke shot her an unamused look as she turned back around. Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Well, do you disagree?” She stirred. Clarke narrowed her eyes slightly.

“Are you trying to trick me into staying here?” She shot back and Lexa smirked with a shrug. “Well too bad, I’m coming with.” She said and pushed herself off of the log she was leaning on and slowly limped to Lexa who was watching her, her expression blank.

“You are being a fool Clarke. If you just stay here-“

“No.” Clarke snapped and limped past Lexa, holding one hand over her hip. “I’m coming with. But feel free to lead the way Commander.” She said, motioning with her hand. Lexa partially rolled her eyes and lead the way, and Clarke noticed she was tightly holding onto a bunch of mushrooms and smiled slightly at the girls back before limping behind her. They remained silent as they walked, both stuck in their own heads until Lexa stopped in front of her suddenly, staring forward. Clarke stopped gratefully and leant against a tree, trying to slow down her panting.

“Look over there Clarke.” She whispered and dropped down to one knee, pointing toward some thick bushes. Clarke sighed and looked where Lexa was pointing and felt her heart leap in hope. The horse that had run off on them had its reigns caught in the tangle of bushes and was whinnying frantically. Clarke grabbed Lexa’s arm excitedly and the commander turned to look at the blonde, her eyes lit up with hope. They stared at each other for a moment, hopeful smiles on both their faces before Lexa turned away and slowly began walking up to the spooked horse. Clarke stayed back knowing her heavy footsteps and breathing may frighten it. She watched the commander gently speak in her language to the horse, and it calmed down, allowing her to pet it and untangle it. She led it out of the bushes and Clarke sighed in relief when she spotted that the bags were still strapped on its saddle. “Come on Clarke. We need to get moving.” Lexa said, indicating to the horse. Clarke shook her head and limped over to the horse and started going through the bag that was remaining.

“I need to stitch up your hand and arm first.” She countered and pulled her medical kit out, opening it and searching through the small kit for thread and needle. Lexa watched her curiously.

“You brought supplies to stitch wounds?” She enquired and Clarke shot her a look.

“Yes, Lexa. I needed to be prepared in case my wounds reopened or something happened.” She stood up and motioned for Lexa’s arm. “Good thing I did.” She smirked at the grounder who glared back, her eyes glancing to the needle and back to Clarke, face hesitant before sitting down in front of the sky girl, her free hand still holding the horses reigns. Clarke unwrapped the torn arm, aware that the strips of cloth were slightly bloodstained and took in the damage again. “Okay, ready?” Clarke said softly, glancing up and catching Lexa’s gaze, feeling her breath hitch. The grounder nodded, never breaking her eye contact. She could feel the cold touch of the sky girls’ fingers and couldn’t stop staring at the dark rings under the girls blue eyes which were dull. They were fast running out of time. Clarke smiled slightly in encouragement and Lexa grit her teeth as the needle pierced and the thread was pulled through her wounds. She kept her eyes on Clarke, watching the concentration on her face.

"How did your father die?” Lexa asked quietly. Clarke’s hand stopped for a moment before continuing and the grounder regretted the question immediately.

“He was murdered by my mother.” Clarke replied bluntly and Lexa nodded, not pushing for more answers. “Your arm is done. I’ll just wrap it up and stitch your hand closed as well.” The blonde said, her voice quiet. Lexa remained silent and offered her injuring hand, gritting her teeth again as the needle pushed through. “All done.” Clarke said a few moments later and gently wrapped up Lexa’s hand, her fingers lingering slightly. The grounder stood up and offered a hand to Clarke to help her up.

“We need to get going. It is already past morning.” Lexa said and Clarke nodded, accepting the help. She quickly packed up the kit and put it in the bag, pulling out a new clip of ammo and loading it into her gun while Lexa watched warily and nodded once it was done for Lexa to help her up on the horse. They both grunted with the effort and Clarke blacked out slightly from the pain. Lexa pulled herself up behind Clarke, wrapping her arms around the blonde to grab the reigns and support her. The sky girl gratefully leant back against Lexa, her body drained from their walk. “Try and rest, Clarke.” Lexa whispered in the girls ear and received a small nod in return.

* * *

 

Clarke awoke to the sound of voices and felt a surge of panic. She could feel Lexa behind her still, her arms still by her sides. She blinked in the orange glow of the sunset. She heard Lexa say something in her language and glanced down, realising that there was a group of grounders standing in front of their horse, their faces wide with smiles and some bowing their heads with respect.

“Clarke. You are awake?” Lexa asked quietly and Clarke nodded, her mouth slightly slack as she stared at a very small village in front of them. Close knit thatched huts were all situated around what appeared to be a fire pit, where an animal was being roasted. The village was about half the size of TonDC but she could see young children peeking their heads around the corners of the huts, staring in awe at the Commander and her companion. Lexa slid off the horse gently, shocking Clarke back to reality and motioned for two men to help the blonde off the horse. They held her gently, their eyes curious.

“Thank you.” Clarke said and they glanced at Lexa in confusion.

“Mochof.” She translated and the two grounders nodded. Lexa glanced at Clarke quickly and motioned to her, addressing the group of people surrounding them. “Klarke kom Skai-“

“Just Clarke.” She interrupted and Lexa looked at her curiously, but didn’t press. Murmurs broke out among the people and they glanced nervously between each other, causing Lexa to lift her chin slightly.

“ _Enough!”_ She said loudly, with authority. The grounders fell silent instantly and Lexa continued to address them in her language. Clarke noticed a young girl standing next to her, staring in wonder. She reached up and tugged Clarkes shirt, motioning for her to crouch. She obliged and the grounder child stared in awe at her blonde hair.

“Do you like my hair?” She asked gently, unaware that Lexa had fallen silent and was watching them until she crouched next to Clarke and translated for the girl who nodded furiously and said something excitedly to Lexa who smiled slightly.

“She wants to feel it. She thinks it is odd that it is so light, and believes that it must not be real hair.” She translated and Clarke let out a small laugh.

“Is blonde hair not a thing in your culture?” She asked Lexa who shrugged.

“It is rare.” She replied and glanced back at the eager eyed child who was staring at Clarke in awe. “This little one has clearly never seen it before.” Clarke smiled and tipped her head forward slightly so the child could run her fingers through it. The girl laughed and stepped back, grinning like it was Christmas. She began talking again and Clarke looked at Lexa for a translation and suddenly felt herself become lost looking at the grounder Commander. A smile lifted her lips and she gazed at the child like a proud parent. Realisation shot through Clarke and felt her breath hitch. These were her people. These are who she was protecting. Not only the warriors. Not only the leadership. The innocent children that the Mountain Men would have strung up and bled out without a second thought. She glanced around at the crowd standing around them, some with apprehensive expressions and others with curiosity. Their children, brothers and sisters, parents and friends had been murdered and turned into reapers for as long as they could remember. They lived their lives waiting for the next one to be taken and bled out and thrown away like trash. Until Lexa saved them. Clarke looked back at her, realising that she was staring at her expectantly, a small worried frown burrowing her brow.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” Lexa asked quietly and the blonde nodded, feeling tears prick her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and sniffed.

“I’m sorry, what did she say?” Clarke said with a small laugh to ease the worried look on her companions face. Lexa studied Clarkes face for a second longer.

“She wanted to know if you would sit beside her by the fire as we eat. She has taken a liking to you, sky princess.” Lexa said cautiously.

“I’m not the sky princess anymore, Lexa.” Clarke corrected quietly. “Neither am I Skai Kru. I left them for a reason.” Lexa couldn’t help a smile lift the corner of her mouth. Clarke stared back until she saw Lexa’s face go in and out of her vision, her head spinning. Lexa noticed the colour leave Clarke’s face and quickly darted forward to catch the girl before her head hit the ground as she fainted. She laid her hand against Clarke’s forehead and clenched her jaw.

“ _I need to take her to your healer, immediately._ ” Lexa shouted, lifting Clarke up in her arms and facing the chattering crowd. An older woman stepped forward.

“ _Follow me Commander.”_ She said and led the way through the crowd to a hut close to the fire pit. She pulled open the thatched door and nodded for Lexa to go through.

“ _Thank you._ ” She said with a nod. A young man bowed his head toward Lexa as she walked in and took in the girl who was lying limp in her arms, her face grey.

“ _Commander. Place her on the furs.”_ He instructed, gathering vials. Lexa gently laid Clarke down and stepped back, worry plain on her face.

“ _She has been poisoned with Azgedan poison. She was given a mild antidote about 4 days ago.”_ She explained, her voice shaking slightly. “ _Can you help?”_ The healer mixed a few vials together in a cup, swirling it with a knife.

“ _I need to look at her wounds and see the extent of the poison. Where is the entry wound?”_ He enquired picking up another clean knife.

“ _Her right shoulder and hip._ ” Lexa said, chewing her lip in nervousness. The healer leant forward and cut through Clarkes shirt, and ripped it off revealing her body. Lexa felt her stomach drop at the sight. Dark purple veins spread out from her shoulder, over onto her back and connected with the veins spreading down her back from the exit wound. Lexa could see them going up her neck and webbing across her chest. Veins covered her stomach and ran down her right leg stemming from the wound in her hip. Both wounds were bruised with dark purples and blues and wept with pus. The healer glanced at Lexa, his expression clearly showing a mixture of pity and worry.

“ _Commander, I believe she may be too far –“_

“ _Give her the antidote._ ” Lexa snarled, cutting the healer off, her eyes never leaving Clarkes grey face. The healer glanced between the two of them and gently lifted Clarkes head up, opening her mouth to pour the liquid down her throat. She coughed in disgust before settling back. Lexa stepped forward and pulled furs over her to cover her body and keep her warm. She turned to the healer. “ _What is your name?”_ He swallowed thickly.

“ _Namari._ ” Lexa nodded, turning back to watch Clarkes pained face.

“ _How far from the Ice Nation_ _is this village?”_ She asked calmly. Namari watched his commander, confusion present on his face.

“ _Half a day or less horse ride, north.”_ He said washing his hands and prepping a cloth to wash Clarkes wounds. “ _The plant grows fairly close to the edge of their territory.”_ He continued and stepped up next to Lexa who was grinding her teeth in worry, her eyes trained on Clarke’s face. “ _Commander, I need to clean her wounds”_ Lexa nodded and stepped back, holding her hand to her mouth as he pulled the furs back down.

“ _How long do you think she has?”_ She asked, not even attempting to hide the shake in her voice. Namari gently wiped the girls wounds, cleaning any dirt, pus or blood from it. “ _How long!”_ Lexa snapped, making the healer jump.

“ _I do not know. With the antidote maybe a day. The poison is in her blood, Commander. I do not even know if the cure will remove it from her system completely. I am unsure how it works.”_ He explained, wrapping bandages around Clarke and pulling the furs back up.

“ _A day. That is enough time for me to retrieve the cure.”_ Lexa muttered, more to herself then the wide eyed healer.

“ _I do not recommend that you go into their land.”_ Lexa glared at the man and he shrunk back slightly. “ _Our scouts have noticed unrest there since the sky girl killed the mountain men.”_ He explained, nodding toward Clarke. Lexa glanced at her and back to Namari.

“ _How is it that a healer in a remote village is aware of what happened?”_ She asked suspiciously, her hand on her sword at her waist. He held his hands up.

“ _Everyone knows of the tale of the sky crew that took down the mountain. She is a hero, commander.”_ He explained. Lexa stared at him before nodding.

“ _Regardless, I will not let her die.”_ She stated. “ _I will leave now, and return by morning. Ensure that she stays alive until then.”_ Her eyes lingered on Clarke for a moment before she turned and left through the thatched door. She stopped abruptly as the young girl that was fascinated with Clarkes hair stood outside the door, her expression sad.

“ _Commander, will Clarke be okay?”_ She asked with a soft voice. Lexa felt her throat close up and supressed the sob. Villagers were watching her, some with concerned expressions; others with curiosity at why this girl had shaken up their ruthless Commander. She crouched down, swallowing heavily. She faked a tiny smile.

“ _Yes. She is. She just needs rest, and then you can eat with her like you wanted._ ” Lexa said, trying to hold her voice steady. The little girl grinned brightly at her and ran back to her mother who was standing close by. Lexa straightened up and walked purposefully out of the camp and into the nearest trees, away from the villagers prying eyes. She collapsed to her knees as the sun left the ground in darkness. She sobbed, allowing her tears to flow freely. Her fists clenched around dirt and leaves as her sobs made her body shudder. She curled in on herself, the image of Clarke’s poison laced body burnt in her mind’s eye. She stayed in that position for a long period of time, until the night was pitch black, allowing her body to rid of the emotion she had pent up.

“Heda!” She heard a shout from the outskirts of the village and quickly wiped her face, clearing it of her tears. “Heda Leksa!” Another urgent call rang out and she stood up abruptly, taking a deep breath to calm herself and pulled her usual mask on before striding toward the village, preparing herself for what emergency that the people were calling her for, her stomach churning with worry. She walked into the village to cheers and felt her worry ease slightly. The villagers were standing around the roasting deer, and the older woman that had led Lexa to the healers hut was offering her a plate heaped with food.

“ _We were unsure where you had gone Commander.”_ She said apologetically. Lexa nodded with a small smile and accepted the plate and glanced around to find a seat. She saw the young girl from earlier sitting with some other smaller children and sat next to them. They stared at her in awe and she gave them a gentle smile before beginning to eat.

“Is there a spare seat for me?” Lexa jumped at Clarkes hoarse voice and almost dropped her plate as she stood up and spun around. Clarke smiled tiredly at her, leaning against Namari who was watching Lexa with a nervous expression. Lexa glared angrily at them both but Clarke gently touched her arm before she could voice her disapproval. “I’m hungry Lexa, and the medicine that Namari gave me is working already.” She said gently before looking at the young girl. “Besides, I owe someone a meal.” She nodded to the girl and Lexa glared at her for a moment longer before lifting her chin in defiance.

“Fine. But you must rest once you have eaten.” She stated and Clarke raised an eyebrow at Lexa with a quick smirk.

“Yes Commander.” She said and limped past to sit down next to the girl, accepting a plate of food and a cup of drink from a nervous looking villager who bowed his head and scurried off. Lexa rolled her eyes and sat on the other side of Clarke who turned to look at her. “What’s her name?” She said, motioning to the child. Lexa leant around the blonde and smiled at the girl.

“ _Clarke and I would like to know your name.”_ She asked and the girl blushed slightly.

“ _Elora.”_ She said and Lexa nodded, glancing at Clarke who was smiling at the girl.

“It’s nice to meet you, Elora.” The blonde said, waiting for Lexa to translate before continuing. “Your hair is very beautiful. Did you braid it yourself?” Elora nodded, her face lit up by a grin. Clarke glanced slyly at Lexa before leaning in to whisper to the girl, though still loud enough that Lexa could hear to translate. “Your commander braided mine, but it is nowhere as pretty as yours. You’ll have to teach me!” Lexa rolled her eyes and translated, before shoving food into her mouth to hide her smile and placed the plate on the ground. Elora laughed and sat up on her knees.

“ _I will braid your hair for you!”_ She shouted, clapping her hands and Clarke turned her back to the girl to allow her access to her hair and found herself staring straight at Lexa who studied her with an unreadable expression.

“You are good with children.” She stated and Clarke shrugged, a flash of pain appearing on her face at the action.

“They aren’t hard to handle, and I like them.” She said. Lexa nodded slightly, before glancing around at the village and then into the fire, unable to handle looking at Clarke’s pale face any longer, guilt chewing into her stomach. “Your people seem excited.” The blonde said, trying to continue the conversation.

“I do not often get the opportunity to visit the more remote villages. I spend most of my free time in Polis.” Lexa explained, the fire flickering over her face and Clarke couldn’t help but stare at how defined her cheekbones were and swallowed heavily, her eyes dropping down to the commanders lips, watching as Lexa ran her tongue along her bottom lip. “You are staring at me, Clarke. Do you have another question?” Lexa said quietly, turning to face Clarke again but spotted Elora’s curious eyes glancing over the blondes shoulder, her hands still playing with her hair. “ _Do you have a question, Elora?”_ She addressed the girl instead who shrunk back slightly. Lexa nodded to Clarke who turned to face the girl, waiting to see if she said anything.

“ _Do you love Clarke, Commander?”_ The young girl asked quietly, looking down and playing with her fingers in embarrassment. Lexa felt her breath hitch slightly in shock and her eyes met Clarke’s curious ones, waiting for a translation. The blonde had picked up on her name and Lexa’s title but was unsure of the rest, figuring it was a question about herself.

“Lexa? What did she ask?” Clarke pressed, intrigued by Lexa’s somewhat panicked expression. The grounder glanced at Elora and back to Clarke before inhaling sharply.

“ _Yes. I do, very much.”_  She stated and a wide grin broke out on Elora’s face and she began braiding Clarke’s hair again. Lexa stared softly at Clarke, the blonde narrowing her eyes slightly at her.

“What did she ask?” She repeated, slight annoyance in her voice. Lexa raised an eyebrow before lifting her chin.

“Learn our language, and then you will know.” She stirred and Clarke’s mouth dropped slightly at the reply. Elora tapped Clarke on the shoulder, causing her to gasp out in pain and Lexa’s jaw clenched and she shook her head at the child who shrunk back.

 _“I am finished braiding her hair, Commander.”_ She said quietly. “ _It is like yours!”_ She giggled and jumped to her feet, bowing her head to Clarke as she turned on her log to face the young girl.

“Thank you, Elora. I’m sure it looks beautiful!” Clarke said with a smile and Elora grabbed her hand.

“ _I hope you get better soon, Clarke! The Commander needs you.”_ She said, her voice turning serious. Clarke glanced at Lexa who clenched her jaw and nodded to Elora who smiled and ran off.

“Are you going to tell me what she said that time?” Clarke said, and Lexa could hear the clear annoyance in her voice and sighed.

“She wishes you well.” She stated, her eyes studying Clarke’s annoyed expression.

“That’s not all she said.” The sky girl stated, before sighing in defeat and standing up. “I’m going to go and rest.” She said with slight mocking emphasis on the word rest before limping back toward the healers hut. Lexa bit her lip before jumping to her feet and following behind Clarke, grabbing her arm gently before the girl could enter the hut. Clarke didn’t turn, staring stubbornly ahead.

“She said she wishes you good health, because her Commander needs you.” Lexa said, her voice shaking with nervousness, her hand still clamped around Clarke’s arm who stayed silent, staring forward. Lexa let go of her arm and straightened up, her eyes tracing over Clarke’s now grounder braided hair, aware of the similarities of its style to her own. “I will be leaving-“

“Is that true?” Clarke interrupted turning to look at the commander in the eyes, her expression unreadable. Lexa lifted her chin, her eyes showing her vulnerability.

“Do you believe it to be true, Clarke?” She replied quietly, avoiding the question. Clarke moved slightly closer.

“It doesn’t matter what I think, does it?” She said harshly. “You know full well that if you leave tonight I won’t be happy, but you will do it anyway.” Lexa drew back slightly, her mouth opening slightly to form a response, her words lost. Clarke ran her eyes down Lexa’s face to her mouth. “Please don’t leave without me.” She whispered and Lexa caught her breath slightly, trying to control her racing heart. The girls stared at each other for a moment before Lexa nodded ever so slightly.

“We will leave in the morning then.” She said, her voice husky from the tension before breaking their gaze and stepped back. She pointed to a hut near Clarkes. “I will be sleeping there.” She stated and turned to walk away but stopped as this time Clarke gently grabbed her uninjured arm. She clenched her jaw in nervousness, her heart pounding.

“I hope it’s true.” Clarke admitted quietly, letting go of her arm and entering her hut. Lexa bit her lip and exhaled sharply, ignoring the curious glances from her people and strode toward the hut, nodding in thanks at the villager vacating it for her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same as previous, Italics is Trigedeslang. Thank you for the comments i love hearing your opinions! Enjoy :)

“Bellamy. I was worried you had changed your mind.” Echo said as Bellamy pushed through the trees, his face dark with shadows. He shook his head and began grabbing Echo’s belongings and putting them in a bag he had bought with him.

“We don’t have much time. I managed to convince Wick to turn off the fence for twenty minutes, so we need to hurry.” He explained and Echo nodded.

“I need to go and grab something from over there.” Echo said, pointing to a thick lot of trees. Bellamy looked at her suspiciously before nodding and turning back to the bag. Echo walked toward the trees quickly pulling out her radio as she pushed through and crouched down, watching Bellamy through the trees. “ _The fence is down for twenty minutes. Get as many of you as possible into the area and kill any sky person that you see. Do NOT get discovered and wait for my next command._ ” She whispered, grinning wickedly. “ _I will have the radio on to get details. Do not respond._ ” She said strictly and got a grunt in return.

“Echo?” Bellamy called out and the grounder shoved the radio back into her pocket and stood up quickly and followed him as he left the clearing. She put her hand in her pocket and turned the radio back on.

“So Bellamy, are you going to inform me of the plan or am I going in blind.” She said, lacing her fingers through Bellamy’s, feeling the roughness of his hand. He glanced down at her with a strange sort of fondness.

“Most of the camp is in the sleeping quarters. There is a couple of a guards posted at the front and back gates but that should be all. We are going to sneak in through the side.” He explained, and Echo carefully lifted the radio slightly so her warriors could hear Bellamy’s words clearly.

“You are sure I will not be spotted?” She pushed and Bellamy glanced at her curiously. She stared forward her expressions unreadable. “Your people believe I poisoned your princess, despite the two that saw my guards clearly shoot the arrows without my command. How long do you think I would have before your leaders put a bullet through my head?” She explained and Bellamy studied for a moment before nodding.

“There will only be guards at the entrance of the ark and at the gates. I did a quick check through and I could find no one else awake. Abby is waiting for us in the medical room.” Bellamy said and Echo looked at him in surprise.

“She knows about me?” She almost hissed, biting her tongue from saying anything more. Bellamy shook his head.

“No, I just told her that I needed some medical help and to meet her there at that time so I don’t worry my friends.” He said and let go of Echo’s hand and crouched down as they neared the edge of the trees. “I’ll go down first and make sure the fence is still off. Follow me when I signal, okay?” He said and Echo nodded as she crouched and watched him scurry off and pulled out her radio quickly. The lights that normally lit up the area were low, and the Ark was mostly dark. She could see two guards at the front gates and one pacing in front of the front entrance to the Ark.

“ _Go in now. Enter at any door you can find and take out any sky person you come across. Find the sleeping chambers but keep as many as you can alive._ ” She hissed, squinting to see if she could spot her warriors. She glanced back down when she noticed Bellamy waving at her and grinned ferociously, before pocketing her radio and sprinted to where he was in a crouch. He helped her through the fence and she grabbed him, panting. “Bellamy, I need to rest a moment.” She said, faking the exhaustion and holding her injured shoulder. He clenched his jaw and nodded helping her lean against the wall of the Ark. They stared silently forward. Echo knew she had to keep Bellamy here until her warriors had infiltrated the Ark. She increased her breathing and laid a hand on his leg, looking at him apologetically. “I am sorry. I will be fine soon.” She assured him.

* * *

 

Lexa paced back and forth in her hut, her brow furrowed. She knew it was stupid to stay and wait til morning to take Clarke with her to get the cure but all she could picture was the desperate stare from the girl as she asked her not leave without her. Lexa glanced down at her bare stomach, looking at the stinging claw marks with a grimace. She had stripped herself of her dirty clothes down to her bindings to allow the wounds to breathe and found that the gashes were slightly infected, but she was not fazed by it. She could feel fatigue beginning to set in and yawned, staring out the window into the dark night, trying to gauge how late it was. The village had long gone to sleep and she knew she should, but had not made the decision to stay yet.

“So you really don’t sleep.” Clarke’s husky voice caused Lexa to jump and she automatically reached for her sword, grimacing when she realised it was not wrapped around her waist. She spun around in anger and glared at Clarke who was leaning against the doorframe, the last remaining flickering light of the fire illuminating her silhouette.  She watched as Clarke walked in, shutting the door behind her. A single flickering torch kept the room alight enough that the two girls could see each other clearly. Lexa sighed and sat on the edge of her bed, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

“Why are you not sleeping Clarke.” She asked, looking back up at Clarke who was wandering around the hut, studying it with her mouth slightly agape. She turned to catch Lexa’s gaze.

“I woke up. Thought I should come and see if you were here.” She stated. Lexa frowned slightly.

“Where else would I be? I told you I was sleeping here and we would leave in the morning.” She said, watching Clarke walk with her eyes, her posture uptight. Clarke scoffed.

“You expected me to believe your word?” She said coldly and Lexa stared at her unwavering, but kept silent knowing that Clarke was right. “No bite back?” Clarke said, stopping her pacing and met Lexa’s steady gaze.

“I have been arguing with myself since we parted on whether or not I leave tonight.” Lexa admitted. “If you had not walked in I probably would be considering leaving.” She said quietly. Clarke glared at her, her nostrils flaring in anger.

“Do you ever expect me to trust you again Lexa?” She spat. “You can’t just expect me to forgive you for what you did, and now to find out you were going to leave despite my wishes.” Lexa stood up suddenly, her eyes flashing in annoyance.

“I have not asked you to trust me Clarke. I have never once expected nor asked that you trust me again.” She snapped, her voice low. “Nor have I asked for your forgiveness. I do not know what are expecting from me.” Lexa said, frustration apparent in her voice. Clarke stood her ground, breathing slightly heavy in frustration. Lexa stared down at her before huffing in annoyance. “Why are you really here, Clarke?” Clarke faltered for a moment, her words getting stuck on her tongue before her previous annoyance took over.

“Because I took two poisoned arrows for you.” She said, and regretted it the moment pain and guilt flashed through Lexa’s eyes.

“I never asked you to do that.” She snarled, baring her teeth at Clarke.

“I know you didn’t! But I chose to save your life because-“ Clarke snapped her mouth shut before finishing the sentence, her chest heaving. Lexa stared at her with wide eyes, her own chest heaving with emotion.

“Because what, Clarke.” She said quietly. Clarke stared at her, her expression lost before she clenched her eyes shut.

“I said to you, in the tent before we went to Mount Weather, that you were weak for hiding from your feelings.” She whispered before reopening her eyes, and Lexa could plainly see the emotion etched on Clarke’s face.

“Clarke-“ She started but the blonde stepped forward and pressed her lips against Lexa’s in desperation. Clarke lifted her hand and cupped the commanders’ cheek before breaking their kiss and leaning her forehead against Lexa’s, her eyes clenched shut.

“I’m just as weak for keeping mine from you.” Clarke whispered, her voice shaking. “I couldn’t think about anything but saving my people then. But, now I...” She trailed off and opened her eyes and leaning back slightly to look at Lexa’s reaction. The grounder was staring at her with lidded eyes, her mouth partially open.

“I betrayed you.” She replied, her voice barely audible. Clarke nodded slowly, her hand still on the other girls cheek.

“I know.” She said her voice cracking. “I know, and right now I don’t care.” She said and Lexa gently grabbed Clarke’s uninjured hip and pulled the girl flush against her, her lips pressing against Clarkes. She deepened their kiss, and Clarke pushed against her, pushing them backward toward the bed. They broke apart as Lexa stumbled slightly and sat down, staring up at the blonde. Clarke stepped forward so that Lexa’s legs were between hers and slowly pulled her shirt off, gasping slightly in pain.

“Clarke.” Lexa said huskily, her hands resting lightly on Clarke’s hips. “We should not be doing this while you are sick.” Clarke leant down and kissed Lexa again, silencing the grounder whilst straddling her. She gasped into the kiss as Lexa pulled her closer, her hands exploring the girls back. She broke the kiss to let out another gasp and Lexa took the opportunity to kiss down the girls neck gently, her lips leaving a trail. Clarke arched back slightly, her hands tangling in the grounders curly hair. She leant forward, her forehead resting against Lexa’s as her breathing increased. The commander stopped and tilted her head up, her eyes catching Clarke’s, aware that the blonde’s face had grown pale. “Clarke, are you okay?” She asked, urgency in her voice. Clarke clenched her eyes shut and shook her head.

“No Lexa I’m not.” She breathed and Lexa pulled back so she could look at the girl properly. Clarke opened her eyes, tears falling down her cheeks.

“You need to rest, you should not be exerting yourself like this. We can deal with this after you are better.” Lexa said gently, her hands still gently holding Clarke’s hips. The blonde shook her head, sobbing slightly in frustration.

“I’m not sick Lexa!” She said, the desperation clear in her shaking voice. “I’m dying and you know it.” She continued and her voice calmed slightly. Lexa clenched her jaw, her eyes darting between Clarkes.

“We will get the cure-“ Clarke groaned in frustration, interrupting the grounder and stood up shakily, stepping away from her.

“Namari told me that the poison is in my blood.” She admitted, wrapping her arms around herself. Lexa stood up abruptly, a mixture between anger and fear on her face.  “Yes he speaks English, and he told me that my chances of surviving are low.” Clarke said before Lexa could say anything. She laughed bitterly. “I guess life isn’t about more than surviving. Looks like I don’t even get that option.” She said quietly, looking down and noticing Lexa’s fists were clenched tightly before looking back up and smiling slightly. “After all the people I’ve killed and everything that I’ve done, maybe this is what I deserve.” She whispered and Lexa strode forward, embracing the blonde in her arms. Clarke stiffened for a moment then felt all her strength leave and gripped tightly to Lexa, sobbing into the grounders shoulder.

“You deserve to survive.” Lexa whispered, holding the sobbing girl tightly. “Your spirit is strong, your determination. This is not the end, Clarke.” She continued, her voice quiet but strong.

“I killed all those people.” Clarke said into Lexa’s shoulder, her voice shuddering. “I murdered children and innocents because I rated my people lives higher than theirs.” Lexa shook her head and pulled back from Clarke, looking at her both sternly and with care in her eyes.

“I killed those people Clarke. I betrayed you and our alliance. You had no choice. Your hand was forced.” She said and Clarke covered her eyes with the palms of her hands, sniffing to calm herself down. “You are fighting a battle with yourself now, and you have been this entire time.” Lexa continued. Clarke looked at her through blurry eyes, the familiarity of the grounders voice and eyes calming her. She had felt annoyance at Lexa’s lectures before, but hearing the strength in the grounders voice slowed her heart. “You are a leader, Clarke. You may not have chosen that path, but it happened. You saved your friends lives, your people’s lives. And through your decisions, you ended conflict between our people and the Mountain Men.” Lexa looked at her with guilt. “I have not thanked you for that. You are a legend among my people, Clarke. You have allowed us to live. You have allowed your own people to live.” Clarke swallowed thickly, never looking away from Lexa’s steady gaze. “Now, it is your turn to live. The fighting is done, the war is over and it is time to end the war you have with yourself Clarke.” Clarke shook her head.

“I can’t just forgive myself, Lexa. That’s not who I am.” She said, thinking back to the words she had said to Bellamy and that Bellamy had said to her. Lexa shook her head.

“You do not need forgiveness for making the decision to save your people. Just as I do not seek forgiveness for making the decision to take the deal. We do what we must to survive. There is no time or space for forgiveness.” She said gently and Clarke stared at her, a wave of calm rushing through her body at Lexa’s words. She knew what the grounder was saying was correct and for the first time since Mount Weather she felt that it was okay that she was there, that she was alive. Lexa studied her, waiting for a response. Clarke smiled at her, a small, tentative smile.

“I know you don’t seek it, but for what it’s worth Lexa, I forgive you.” She said and Lexa felt her mouth twitch up into a smile masking Clarkes. The blonde chewed her lip, looking away in thought. “Maybe one day we won’t have to make the decision between our people.” She said quietly. Lexa stared at her for a moment before leaning forward and gently touched her lips against Clarkes, before pulling back and resting her forehead against Clarkes.

“No one can predict the future Clarke.” She said quietly. “But for now, we need to rest. It will be morning soon and we must be rested before we leave.” She said straightening up and turning to pick up Clarkes discarded shirt. “I will walk you back.” She said offering Clarke the shirt but the blonde shook her head.

“Let me sleep with you.” She said, and Lexa nodded. Clarke climbed into the bed and Lexa followed, her heart racing. She lay on her back and moved her arm to allow Clarke to curl up against her side and gently laid her hand against the blondes back. Clarkes hand rested on Lexa’s chest, her fingers gently tracing over the healing scar. “What happens once this is over?” She asked softly, feeling Lexa’s racing heart against her hand.

“My offer for Polis still stands.” Lexa whispered back and Clarke smiled, closing her eyes as Lexa’s hand began stroking her hair.

* * *

 

The Azgedan warrior crouched in the shadows watching the village, his hand resting on the dagger at his waist. He knew what he had to do the moment Lexa and Clarke entered the Ice Nation and his hands itched with anticipation. He signalled to the other warriors that camped a little further away, leaning against a cart. They returned the signal and began pulling the cart over the rocky ground, heading north in preparation for their ambush. The warrior on watch grinned in bloodlust, watching the sleeping village for any signs of life.

* * *

 

Echo followed Bellamy through the silent halls of the Ark, unable to stop herself from staring in wonder at the place.

“It’s impressive, isn’t it?” He whispered and Echo cursed herself for allowing him to notice.

“It is something.” She responded before paying more attention to where they were going. She had seen no sign of other people, and no sign of her warriors being there. “How much longer?” She queried, glancing around. Bellamy glanced at her.

“It’s just around the corner up here.” He said and Echo felt her heart increase. She followed Bellamy through doors that opened by themselves and spotted an older woman who she assumed was Abby. Shock was apparent on her face and Echo couldn’t help the corner of her mouth twitch up. Bellamy quickly walked up to Abby with his hands held up.

“Let me explain Abby. She needs your help.” He said and motioned for Echo to walk closer. The grounder queen obliged, dropping her hand to her dagger. Both Bellamy and Abby jumped as alarms began going off and Echo snarled before leaping forward and drawing her dagger. She grabbed Abby in a headlock and held the dagger to her throat.

“Thank you Bellamy, you fool. My warriors will have already taken the sleeping quarters by now.” She hissed and Bellamy stared at her wide eyed, his jaw clenched. Echo jerked her head to the door, holding Abby tightly. “Now, follow me and do as I say and I will keep the deaths to a minimum.”          


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay in updating, I've been struggling to find free time with Uni exams coming up and work commitments. Thank you all so much for your patience, I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoy. Much love xx

Clarke slowly opened her eyes, blinking to clear them. She could see Lexa standing in the doorway, her back to her with the sun illuminating her form. She stared for a moment, a smile lifting her lips. She knew she could get used to this, waking up to Lexa, living away from her choices, her faults. She sat up, not thinking twice that the pain in her hip and shoulder was gone. Her body felt light, like her worries were gone. She swung her legs off the bed and stood up, her eyes still focused on Lexa’s form. She could faintly see the tattoos that covered her back in the silhouette, her heart racing.

“Lexa.” She said quietly, her feet not feeling the coldness of the stone floor as she walked over. Lexa didn’t respond and continued staring out the doorway. Clarke glanced down at herself, painfully aware of her lack of clothing. She spotted a light looking coat on a table and pulled it on, wrapping it tightly around herself.

“It’s peaceful.” Lexa finally responded. A warm breeze rustled the thin dress that Clarke was now aware that Lexa was wearing. She walked up behind her using all her self-control not to simply wrap her arms around her waist and rest her chin on the grounders shoulder. Instead she walked up beside the commander, eyes seeing but not noticing the scars on Lexa’s back that appeared to be missing. She glanced at Lexa, taking in the gentle expression she wore on her face. The one Clarke had only ever seen directed at herself. There was an almost at peace look in her green eyes and Clarke followed their gaze out to where the fire had been that night. It was then she realised that the morning air was filled with drums, flutes and horns.

“Music!” She said excitedly and Lexa finally turned to look at her, a smile teasing her lips. Clarke met her gaze with a smile. She felt peace at the sound of the music. She could hear children laughing and spotted Elora running from another young girl, squealing in delight. Grounders mingled around, some eating berries and others talking amongst themselves. Clarke spotted Namari with a young grounder that had grazed his knee, a gentle smile on his face as he patted a cloth on it.

“We could have this Clarke.” Lexa said softly. “Polis is very much like this, but bigger.” Clarke glanced over at Lexa, her vision blurring slightly. For a moment she was certain she had seen Lexa’s face covered in warpaint and blood. She clenched her eyes shut and held a hand up to her head as it pounded slightly. “Let us get some breakfast.” Lexa said and Clarke opened her eyes to see that the grounder was already at the firepit. The other grounders surrounded her in what seemed to be a writhing mass. Clarke rubbed her eyes again and realised that Lexa was sitting alone at the log they had been at the previous night. She attentively walked over to her, making sure she didn’t step on any sticks or rocks with her bare feet and sat down. Lexa passed her a plate of berries and nuts and pointed to where what Clarke could call a band was planning on primitive made instruments. A few grounders were leaping and moving around in what she assumed was dancing.

“I thought you didn’t know what music and dancing was Lexa.” Clarke said suspiciously, but couldn’t help the slight joking tone of her voice. Lexa didn’t answer and Clarke looked over at her. The grounder was staring at her with a fierce expression, her eyes locked onto Clarkes lips. “Lexa?” She asked, her voice somewhat breathy. Lexa leant forward and kissed Clarke roughly, her hands grabbing her hips. Lexa pulled the sky girl onto her lap, kissing her deeply. Clarke reciprocated, aware that her cloak was gone and Lexa’s dress had somehow found its way on the ground. She panted slightly as Lexa kissed down her neck, onto her collarbones as her hands pulled her closer, causing Clarke to grind against her. She could hear Lexa moaning and felt her stomach tighten. Her moans continued, sounding as though she was in pain, until Clarke pushed back and landed heavily on her ass. What she thought were moans from Lexa were coming from all around her, moans of anguish and pain. She glanced around taking in the sight of the well-dressed grounders falling to the ground, radiation burns covering their faces and hands. She watched as Elora screamed, gripping her mother’s hand tightly as the burns melted her face. Bile rose up in her throat and she jumped as a hand grabbed her shoulder. She turned around, hitting the hand away and stumbling back. Lexa stood in front of her, her eyes dark and empty. Blood splattered her face with the dark war paint covering her eyes. Clarke could feel tears welling up in her eyes, the sound of grounder war chanting mixing with the moans and cries of pain.

“I chose with my head and not my heart Clarke.” Lexa repeated, her voice shaking. Clarke shook her head, covering her ears with her hands. “Victory is built on the back of sacrifice.” She said and Clarke gasped as felt a searing pain explode from her shoulder and hip. Two swords were thrust through her body, both at the hands of Lexa. “It is time to wake up Clarke.” Lexa whispered in her ear and pulled the swords out of Clarke’s body. The blondes vision blackened as she fell backwards, the sight of the dancing grounders in the corner of her eye. Screams of anguish in her ears. Lexa’s warmth on her lips still. Her words rattled in Clarkes mind as her head hit the ground. Time to wake up.

* * *

 

Echo lowered herself on her horse, her three guards following close behind. She urged the horse faster in her rough English. She could hear Trikru warriors yelling from behind her and grit her teeth. She knew she needed to get closer to their camp as soon as possible and set up the next stage of her plan. But she needed to inconspicuous. She grabbed out her radio.

“ _Report.”_ She barked and heard the crackle from the radio.

“ _Two deaths my queen. Attempted hero’s trying to escape the group and retrieve guns.”_ Her warrior replied, his voice crackling from the radio distance. “ _We will pin them up to warm the other Skaikru to not attempt any similar acts.”_ Echo grinned maliciously.

“ _And what of Bellamy?”_ She asked. Silence for a moment on the radio and she clenched her teeth. “ _What of Bellamy?”_ She asked again, her voice harsh. A crackle.

“ _Sorry my queen you cut out. Bellamy is still tied up with the other leaders. We have continuous watch of them, arrows loaded.”_ He confirmed and Echo switched the radio off. She urged her horse faster, digging her heels in. Time was of the essence.

* * *

 

“Wake up Clarke!” Lexa shouted again, her blade clashing loudly with the Azgedan warrior that she was fighting against. He had her back up against the bed and was using his weight to push her down. Clarke was gasping and moaning in her sleep fitfully. Lexa grunted loudly and managed to push the warrior off her and ducked underneath his swing. She yelled as she swung her sword up, slicing up his back through the thick fur coat. Blood splattered against the roof and walls and the warrior choked out, dropping his sword with a clang. Clarke let out a loud moan and Lexa kicked the warrior’s knees out, causing his to fall forward and thrust her sword through his stomach and pulled it back out. He landed on Clarke who awoke with a yelp as his dead weight hit her. She panicked; glancing down at the blood soaked body and tried to push him off. “Clarke!” Lexa yelled sheathing her sword and pulled the body off of the girl. She leant forward on the bed and cupped her hands around Clarkes face to steady her. Her blue eyes were glancing around frantically, glassy and bloodshot. “Clarke you are okay.” She said quickly, trying to get the sky princess to calm down, forgetting the blood that covered her face. Clarke grabbed her injured arm and dug her nails in and Lexa let out a screech in pain and leapt back, grabbing her arm. Clarke pushed her back against the wall and buried her face in her hands.

“I saw them all die again.” She whispered, rocking back and forth quietly. “I can still hear them screaming.” Lexa clenched her jaw, breathing heavily through her noise.

“Clarke. We need to go, now.” She hissed. Clarke looked up at her with bleary eyes.

“Why are you covered in blood?” She asked, her voice sounding airy, her eyes not able to focus on the grounder. Lexa pulled gently at her hand to get her to try and stand.

“We are under attack Clarke. We need to leave.” Lexa hissed and was grateful when clarity finally crossed Clarke face and she got off the bed, stumbling slightly in pain. She glanced at the body on the floor and at Lexa’s blood splattered clothes. Lexa turned away and grabbed a spare pair of clothing she had grabbed for Clarke earlier and tossed them at her. “Get dressed.” She stated and began checking the dead warriors body as Clarke obeyed. She picked her gun up off the bedside stand and checked the ammo before moving to put it in her belt. Lexa glanced up. “Keep it out and ready.” She said, shaking her head slightly before standing up, holding a blood covered piece of scribbled cloth. “There will be more.” She said trying to ascertain what the writing said. Clarke sniffed, realising that she could smell fire and hear screams and looked in horror at Lexa, realisation hitting her.

“The villagers!” She shouted and moved to run to the door but Lexa grabbed her arm, stopping her. Her face was grim.

“I saved as many as I could, Clarke.” She muttered and Clarke felt dread unfurl in her stomach, her dream flashing in her eyes. She had a feeling it was about to become somewhat a reality. Lexa glanced at the pale girl, and bent down to grab their bags. She handed one to Clarke and pulled hers over her shoulder. It was filled with the Ice Nation furs and rations and she had made sure that Namari had refilled her medical kit with bandages and the tiny amount of antidote he had left. She nodded once at Clarke before heading toward the door, her sword gripped tightly in her hand. She could still hear the crying and screaming but felt as though time had slowed down. As Lexa pushed the door open Clarke held her breath, feeling bile rise up at the sight in front of her. Bodies were strewn across the ground, some fighting to live and others burning and bleeding. Faces that were familiar and kind. Fire had burnt down at least two of the huts and another was burning. Clarke could see at least three Azgedan warriors, all with sword wounds and she glanced at Lexa, her blood splattered clothes. “There were more than I could handle.” She said, her voice shaking with emotion. “The rest ran.” Clarke walked around, conscious of stepping around the bodies of dead grounders. She could see children under their parents’ bodies and felt her stomach rise.

“Elora?” She rasped out, spinning to look at Lexa, her eyes burning with unshed tears. Lexa stared at her and slowly shook her head slightly and Clarke looked down to see the hand that held her sword was shaking. Lexa swallowed thickly and lifted her chin.

“We should go Clarke. We need to get away before we are attacked again.” She said, her voice betraying the strength she was trying to portray. Clarke shut her eyes tightly, clenching her shaking hands into fists and breathing deeply to calm herself. These people had died because of her. She had thought her days of taking lives were behind her, but death was surrounding her yet again. Lexa stepped toward her and very gently laid a hand on the sky girls shaking shoulder. “Do not let their deaths stop you from living, Clarke.” Clarke glanced at Lexa, her lip shaking slightly. “This was not your fault.” She stated, glaring down at the bodies of the Ice Nation warriors she had cut down. “This was an attack against my people, against me. They have chosen war over continued peace among the clans. This will not go unpunished.” She hissed, and Clarke felt a sense of relief flow through her. Lexa didn’t blame her, and her words as usual cut straight through Clarke’s turmoil. She took a deep breath and wiped her face of her tears.

“Let’s go then.” She muttered, gripping her gun tightly. They carefully stepped around the bodies of the slaughtered villagers, both girls clenching their jaws tight with emotion. They found three Azgedan horses tied up outside the village and loaded their bags on and climbed up. The horse’s saddles were donned with warm furs and had covers on their eyes. Clarke assumed it was to help keep snow from irritating them. Lexa dug her heels in and set off north and Clarke followed, ignoring her throbbing wounds.

“We do not have far to go Clarke.” Lexa shouted behind as her horse picked up speed, easily traversing the rock covered ground. It was clearly used to this terrain. Clarke didn’t respond, just kept her head forward, trying to breathe through the pain as the jolts from the horse spread through her body. Lexa began to blur in her vision and she looked down at her hands. She was still gripping her gun tightly, the metal handle helping her to feel calm. Her other hand held the reigns so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. Lexa glanced behind her and noticed that Clarke’s horse had slowed to a trot and the girl was staring down at her hands with a confused expression. She slowed her horse and trotted back to Clarke. “Are you okay?” She asked bluntly. Clarke shook her head and looked up at Lexa.

“No I’m not. Teach me how to become numb. Teach me how to view love as weakness.” Lexa recoiled slightly at how harsh and raspy Clarke’s voice was. “I tried. I tried so hard to be strong like you. But I ran away, from my people that I did so much to save.” She stared desperately at Lexa. The horses maintained their trot and Lexa stared back with an expressionless mask.

“Think with your head Clarke.” Lexa replied simply. “You left your people for a reason. Maybe that reason is not what you think it is.” Clarke frowned slightly before looking away and chewing her lip. “Come on, we need to speed up if we are going to reach the Ice Nation in time.” She said. Clarke nodded, and then pulled her horse to a stop.

“Can I ride with you?” She asked, climbing off and pocketing her gun. Lexa stopped her horse and watched her curiously. “I keep getting dizzy and I don’t trust myself to ride.” She admitted. Lexa nodded once and grabbed Clarkes backpack as she handed it up and helped the girl onto the horse, letting her get settled in front of her. Lexa flicked the reigns, her arms reaching around to keep hold of them and keep Clarke steady. The horse snorted and picked up its speed. The sun was already high in the sky, and Lexa assumed it was around midday. She glanced down at Clarke’s shoulder which was bare as her shirt was slipping off. The thick purple veins ran over it and Lexa felt guilt sear through her. She took a deep breath and bent forward slightly, placing a gentle kiss on the girls shoulder. “I will not let you die Clarke.” She whispered. The blonde stayed silent for a moment and Lexa sat up straight again.

“I know you won’t.” She finally replied and Lexa felt small smile tug her lips up.

* * *

 

Echo could see the tents and torches of Lexa’s grounder camp from her hiding spot in the dying light. She watched as various important warriors to Lexa wandered around, barking orders and training the troops. There was a sense of unease in the air and she grinned wickedly. Their commander had been gone for more than five days, and they were getting restless and concerned. Echo turned to her one of her three guards that hid behind her.

“ _Contact Beltharo and get them organised. Concentrate on the leaders.”_ She ordered with a hiss. “ _I want our men spread throughout the camp, but do not raise suspicion._ ” She turned back to watch the camp, a sadistic grin on her face. “ _Lexa and Clarke will be joining us very soon. We will meet them and I will need you to watch for the signal.”_ She explained. The guard nodded and began shuffling away in a crouch. Echo motioned for her guards to follow her as they crept back to their horses.

“ _Are we certain Lexa will take the deal? This is a risk my queen.”_ One of her guards said, the worry plain in her voice. Echo glanced at her with disdain.

“ _I’m certain. I know Lexa, and how ruthless she is. I have no concerns.”_ She snarled and climbed on her horse, facing it north. “ _Let’s go.”_ She commanded and the urged her horse to go, her guards glancing at each other in concern before following.

* * *

 

 

“Lexa? Can you see that?” Clarke said, her voice slightly groggy. It was very late afternoon and the two leaders were nearing the Ice Nation territory. Lexa could feel cold wind pulling at their clothes and clenched her jaw to stop from shivering. Heat radiated off of Clarke from her fever and Lexa inched forward slightly to use that to her advantage. She looked forward to see where Clarke was pointing, squinting in the low light. There were torches in the distance and she slowed the horse slightly.

“That must be a village.” She explained. Clarke’s head hit her shoulder and she glanced down at the girl. Her face was white and her eyelids were fluttering. Lexa felt her stomach drop in fear. “Clarke?” She said, stopping the horse. The wind was getting harsher and their clothes whipped around. “Clarke wake up.” She yelled shaking Clarke slightly. She slid off the horse, leaning the unconscious girl forward and grabbed her backpack. She rifled through it until she found the tiny vial of remaining antidote. She pulled it out with shaking hands and glanced up when she heard a low moan from Clarke. Another gust of wind blew past and Lexa shuddered with the cold, her fingers struggling to open the corked vial. She looked up again when she saw movement and reached up as Clarke suddenly fell to the side and off of the horse. She managed to catch her, dropping to the ground with the girls deadweight in her arms. “Clarke?” She hissed again, touching the girls face. It was cold and Lexa could barely hear the girl breathing. “No, no. Not now Clarke.” She whispered furiously and could feel panic rising in her chest. Realising that the tiny vial in her hand was gone Lexa glanced around, despair replacing the panic. The bottle had smashed against a rock and the small amount of liquid was spreading over the rock. She heard a sob come out of her mouth before looking at Clarke again. She struggled to her feet, shivering in the cold wind and grunted, trying to lift Clarke onto the horse. “Come on!” She sobbed, shaking with the struggle of lifting the dead weight. “It is right there Clarke. Be strong.” She said before dropping back to her knees with the sky girl in her arms, unmoving. She took a deep breath and gently laid the girl on the ground before getting up to grab the Ice Nation furs out of the back. She pulled them on herself and gently wrapped Clarke up in them. “I will go and get your cure.” She whispered, dragging Clarke to a large overhanging rock, bundling her up in the furs. “Wait for me, please.” She said and took another shuddering breath to calm herself. She knew that giving into her emotions now would guarantee Clarke’s death. She turned and began walking back to the horse. She heard before she felt the crack of the mace to her head and fell heavily to the ground, her vision blacking in and out. She fought the blackness to watch an Azgedan pick up Clarke. She felt a tug on her arm and her vision left as she fell unconscious.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. So i know i've been missing for like over 6 months and i'm so sorry. Between life and the hiatus i just never got around to finishing this. BUT, this is the last chapter. I'm sorry again for the wait, i hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Anything in italics as speech is said in Trigedasleng, and any full paragraphs written in italics are memories/flashbacks :)
> 
> Enjoy the final chapter and thank you all so, SO much for your love and understanding. Let me know what you think :)

Lexa woke suddenly as a jolt shot through her body. She clenched her eyes shut as her head pounded, sending shockwaves of pain down her body. She took a moment to realise the jolts that woke her up was the cart that she was lying on hitting rocks and bouncing over them. She opened her eyes when she heard a pained groan and squinted up at the blue sky, the trees at the edge of her vision warping and twisting. Another groan came from her right and Lexa clenched her teeth, slowly twisting her neck to see where the groan was coming from. Clarke was lying next to her, her face warping and mutating with each pound of Lexa’s head. She could see through the haze that Clarke’s skin was grey and she was shuddering.

“Clarke.” She gasped out, struggling to move her hand up to touch the sky princess but realised that her arms and legs were bound tight. She could hear voices talking, her pounding head causing them to sound distorted and distant. She struggled against her bindings, biting her lip in pain as the tight ropes cut into her wrists. She could feel the stitches on her arm tearing slightly and stopped struggling, breathing heavily. She rolled onto her side to face Clarke, feeling fear suddenly overcome her as the brunettes eyes finally cleared. Clarke was bound as well, but Lexa could see the purple veins running up her neck, stopping just at her chin. There was a white foam coming out of her mouth and the blonde muttered and groaned, her eyelids fluttering. “Clarke!” Lexa hissed again, her voice cracking.

“ _Looks like the Commander is awake. Foolish girl.”_ A rough man’s voice said and Lexa looked past Clarke to see an Azgedan warrior glaring at her. She snarled at him.

“ _You are foolish to attack me like this. Do you have any idea what you have done?”_ She snapped, showing more bravado and strength than she felt. She couldn’t do anything to protect herself or Clarke in this position and the warrior knew that. He grabbed her by the hair as the cart stopped and lifted her up, a growl coming from his mouth.

“ _I am doing what the queen ordered me to do. She’s the only one that is worth listening to. Not your weak self, Commander.”_ He growled out, mocking her title.

“ _Put her down.”_ Lexa recognised the voice of Echo before being dropped back in the cart, landing on top of Clarke who let out a whimper of pain. Lexa rolled off her quickly with a grimace and she rolled onto her injured arm. _“Well, Lexa. Who would have thought we would ever be in this postion._ ” Echo said. The cart stopped underneath Lexa and she saw the Ice Queen come into her view, leaning over the grounder commander with a bloodthirsty grin. Lexa ground her teeth, unable to move.

“ _Let Clarke go. She has nothing to do with this.”_ She tried to say forcefully, but her voice cracked as Clarke groaned at the sound of her voice. Lexa turned her eyes away from Echo as she felt the blonde leader stir next to her. “Clarke?” She whispered as Clarke opened her eyes, looking at Lexa through dull blue eyes.

“Commander.” She gasped out, her voice barely audible. Lexa swallowed a sob. Echo laughed darkly, stepping away from the cart.

“ _Knock her out.”_ Echo ordered and her vision faded when she another crack to her head. She let out a sob as Clarke’s face faded with her vision.

* * *

 

_“Lexa, wake up!” Lexa grunted as Anya shook her awake. She groaned and threw her fur pillow at the older girl and sat up. She looked around blearily at Anya who stood by her bed holding her gear on one arm and her sword in the other hand, a stern expression on her face. “Get up. We have a lot of training to do.” Anya said and offered out Lexa’s gear. The 16 year old grounder nodded and accepted the gear, stifling a yawn. She had been training since she was two, but the early mornings were still a difficult thing to get used to as she loved sleep._

_“Why do we have to train so early?” She groaned as she stood up and began pulling her gear on, ignoring the look shot at her from Anya._

_“Because I said so. You should know by now Lexa that we never miss a training session.” The girls mentor reiterated and Lexa nodded sullenly and grabbed her sword off of Anya who led the way out of the girls shared hut. She stifled a yawn and wiped the tears that leaked from her eyes away and glanced around. She could see two children, no older than five or six sparring. One had a bleeding nose and the other one grinned, dancing around the other child. Lexa felt a pang in her chest. “The Ice Nation is becoming more and more forward with their attacks.” Anya broke the silence and Lexa looked at the fierce warrior, her face hardened by countless battles. “The Commander is beginning to make more- “ Anya cut off in mid-sentence when she noticed her second staring ahead with her jaw clenched. Grounder scouts were carrying in dead bodies of what appeared to be Mountain Men scouts. She watched as they unhooked the guns off of the bodies and threw them away._

_“Tell me again, Anya.” Lexa said finally, tearing her gaze away from the men. “Why don’t we use the guns that we collect off them?” She asked. Anya glared at her and started to storm off toward the training ring._

_“You know this Lexa. It is one of our oldest laws. Guns are the enemy. You know the devastation they can cause. Guns help no one.” Lexa kept silent as they walked, her head down. Anya sighed. “Besides, the mountain men will kill us all if we were to use guns against them.” She finished. Lexa nodded, still frowning at the ground._

_“But if we use them, we can fight back against them. The battlefield will be more level.” Anya grabbed her shoulder, pulling her second to a halt with angry glare._

_“Do not question it. Guns are not our weapons – they are monsters weapons. Now drop it.” She snarled. Lexa stared back, swallowing slightly._

_“Is there ever a chance for peace?” Anya stared at the young warrior, her gaze hard. Lexa’s eyes drifted past her mentor to a girl her age bandaging a mans injured shoulder and continued softly. “I mean, peace between our clans. Why do we fight each other when there is a common enemy?” She said, still staring. The other girl looked up and smiled at Lexa who timidly smiled back. Anya glanced between the two girls._

_“Because that is our way. Do not get distracted by thoughts of peace, or love. It is weakness.” Anya stated, drawing her sword quickly and put it up to Lexa’s neck. “Get distracted and the enemy will slice your head clean off. We worry about our people. Not anybody else. Our people always come first.” Lexa swallowed slightly and nodded, her eyes darting from Anya’s face to the girls, who watched with a concerned expression._

* * *

 

Clarke woke suddenly, gasping for air, grabbing at her chest and throat. She felt her lungs tightening and her heart pounded. She struggled to clear her vision, blinking rapidly as she gasped air into her lungs. She could feel a dull ache in her shoulder and hip, and realised that she was sitting on the ground, and voices were chatting around her. She glanced down to see a bowl with a tiny amount of liquid next to her and realised that her mouth tasted strange.

“Well, sky princess. I see you are back to the land of the living.” A rough but familiar voice came from Clarkes right and she whipped her head around fast, causing her vision to blur slightly. Echo leant against a wooden cart that was being pulled by two horses. Clarkes eyes automatically took in the slumped form at queens feet. She instantly recognised Lexa and felt her stomach plummet.

“What did you do to her?” She gasped out, her voice raspy and crawled to her hands and knees in an attempt to stand. She felt her legs shake and began to slowly crawl to the commanders slumped forwardbody, her head pounding and her body aching. She couldn’t take her eyes off the unmoving form. Echo crouched down and grinned at Clarke, pushing Lexa’s head back and her hair off her face. Her skin was pale, and a trickle of blood dribbled from a wound on her hairline but Clarke could see that the grounder leader was breathing steadily. “Do not worry sky girl. She is only knocked out. I need her alive to get my revenge.” She hissed and threw Lexa’s head forward, causing her to hit the ground. Clarke grimaced and kept crawling, feeling her body getting stronger.

“Did you give me some antidote?” She rasped, keeping her eyes on Lexa as Echo stood up straight and walked away, toward one of the guards. She finally reached the commander and sat on her knees and rolled the girl over onto her back, checking her head wound. It was shallow, but bruised. Echo laughed.

“I told you sky girl. She’s just sleeping. And no. I gave you the cure.” Echo said simply. Clarke glared up at her.

“I don’t believe you.” She spat, one hand on Lexa’s arm and one resting on the girls forehead, her piercing gaze directed at the queen who shrugged. “Why would you save me?” She queried.

“Because I have other things set in motion. Your friend, Bellamy was a big help.” Echo said, her voice oozing with false sincerity. Clarke felt herself go numb.

“What have you done to Bellamy?” She asked icily. Echo shrugged.

“I haven’t done anything to him, yet. He was just an enabler.” She explained and pulled out the walkie talkie that Bellamy had given her. Clarke recognised it immediately and clenched her jaw.

“What the hell do you want?” She spat, pulling Lexas head up on to her lap. The grounder Commanders breathing was slow and her eyelids were fluttering slightly. Echo’s top lip lifted in disgust.

“I want a commander that does not show weakness. That does not pity, or show weakness. I heard what she did in TonDC.” Echo said twirling the radio around in her hand, her eyes hardened. “She sacrificed my two best generals, and multiple others of my people, to save your life and your people’s lives.” Clarke shook her head angrily.

“You don’t understand – we had Bellamy inside – you knew that! He let you out! If Lexa and I had evacuated he would have been killed and you would have been bled out.” She argued. She couldn’t understand why people could not see their reasoning. She knew it was a loss, but it meant they had won. Echo crouched down to Clarkes level and narrowed her eyes.

“Lexa sacrificed the other tribe leaders and generals for YOU and YOUR people. Bellamy is YOUR second. She is not the commander that we need, or want. She is a traitor, and weak.” Echo hissed, her eyes flashing bloodlust at Lexa.

“You’re out here aren’t you? You're alive!? Lexa stopped the bleeding of your people and saved those that were in the mountain in exchange for mine – how is that not the best choice a commander could make?” Clarke said, a slight sob in her throat. She had done the same. Chosen her people over the mountain people. Was she wrong? Clarke absentmindedly brushed hair off Lexa’s face, swallowing sobs and hysteria that threatened to erupt. Both her and Lexa had done what they thought was right for their people. But Jasper, Octavia, Echo, and others, they didn’t understand, they kept telling her it was wrong. Attacking Lexa for being weak and a traitor, and Clarke for being a murderer, for trusting Lexa and grounders. “We didn’t have any other choice!” She sobbed out loud suddenly, her chest heaving. She stared at Lexa’s pale face, watching tears falling on it, causing tracks through the dirt and dust on it. “We did what we needed to save our people. Why can’t you see that?!” Echo remained silent, watching the sky girl breakdown. A twisted smile lifted her lip. “What more do you want from us? What more can we possibly do!?” Clarke screamed and looked at Echo was red eyes, desperation clear. Echo reached out and grabbed her face roughly, digging her fingernails in and leant in close.

“Jus drein, jus daun. I want blood for my warriors that were killed in the bombing. I want blood for the warriors that I have lost over the years to the mountain men. Lexa should not have taken the deal, and retreated. We should have killed the mountain ourselves. We did not receive the justice we deserved. We would have lost lives, but we would have ended things on our terms.” Echo hissed. Clarke stared at her both in disbelief and astonishment.

“You would have allowed hundreds more of your people to die for petty revenge?” She gasped out, incredulous. “You are insane. I killed the mountain, and your people are safe, you are alive. How is that wrong?” She stuttered and Echo just growled, before slamming Clarkes head back against the cart behind her. Stars erupted in her vision and her eyes fluttered shut.

“I will get my revenge. And take my place as the Commander that our people deserve. No mercy, no weakness, no love.” Echo whispered in Clarkes ear as she passed out.

* * *

 

_“Are you okay?” A timid voice caused Lexa to jump and she spun around drawing her sword automatically, hardening her face. A girl stood behind her, her brown eyes wide and deep. The blue glow of the mushrooms illuminated her dark skin and gave her an ethereal look. Her black hair was braided back in the style that the healers wore and a tattoo twisted from her forehead down over her eye to her chin. Lexa lowered her sword slightly, her eyes glancing down to the mushrooms that the girl held in her arms. A small gasp came out of her mouth at realisation of who Lexa was. She dropped the mushrooms and a cloud of spores billowed around them. They stared at each other through the cloud as it settled and Lexa inhaled deeply before letting out a nervous laugh. The stranger smiled widely then joined in the laughter. Lexa sheathed her sword as she stopped laughing, but kept a smile on her face._

_“I am Lexa. But I am assuming by your reaction you are well aware of who I am.” She introduced herself. The girl nodded, smiling back._

_“I was at the ceremony. I am Costia. It is an honour to meet you in person, Commander.” She said, her voice clear and strong. “Are you okay Commander? Should you not be in the hall? I’m sure Indra and the others would be looking for you.” Costia asked, crouching down to pick up the dropped mushrooms. Lexa watched her for a moment before sliding down a tree trunk with a heavy sigh and sat down, her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. Costia watched curiously before sitting in front of the Commander, crossing her legs delicately._

_“Tell me Costia. If you were the Commander, what would be your first thing to change?” Lexa said quietly, her eyes watching the healer who was pulling blades of grass out of the ground and weaving them together._

_“That is a hard one.” She mumbled, before looking up at Lexa who had a tear running down her cheek. She leant forward and wiped it away quickly with her thumb. “I would try and figure out a way to make peace. It is time we stopped fighting amongst the clans.” She finished, sitting back down and continuing with her weaving. Lexa stared at her in shock, her eyes wide, before a smile lit up her face and she felt hope flare in her chest. Maybe she could finally change how their people had to live. She was the Commander now._

* * *

 

Lexa opened her eyes slowly, her head pounding where she had been hit, twice now. She held a hand up to it and cringed when she felt the bump that had swelled up there. She glanced around and realised she was lying in a clearing. The blue sky was beginning to dim as the sun was going down. She slowly reached down to her hip and felt that her sword was missing and clenched her teeth before sitting up. Her heart plummeted when she spotted Clarke kneeling with her hands tied in front of her, cloth covering her mouth. Echo stood behind her, Lexa’s sword strapped around her waist.

“It looks good on me, does it not Lexa?” Echo sneered and unsheathed it, placing it against Clarkes neck, who was staring desperately at Lexa. Lexa pushed herself to her feet in a rush and took a few steps forward.

“Stop this now Echo. Your fight is with me, NOT her.” She shouted, even knowing it was pointless. She could see the insanity in the queens eyes, the way her mouth twitched. “Just let her go, and you can take me instead.” She offered, causing Clarke to shake her head and grimacing as the sword nicked her slightly. Echo shook her head, re-sheathing the sword. Lexa noticed Clarkes eyes glance to the side seconds before she stood up and used her head to barge into Echo’s stomach. The queen grunted and stumbled backwards as Clarke fumbled to grab the gun that was hidden in her jacket. Lexa bounded forward but was stopped as an Azgedan warrior grabbed her hair from behind and yanked her backwards. She hit the ground with a yelp and looked up as another one wrapped his burly arm around Clarke and grabbed the gun that she had managed to pull out and cock. Echo finally caught her breath and straightened up. She walked to Clarke and slapped her hard across the face. Lexa struggled in the warriors arms and growled.

“Do not touch her!” She shouted. Echo grabbed the gun from the warrior and looked at it with disgust.

“Such an inelegant weapon.” She muttered and threw it to the ground. “You need to behave sky girl, or my plan will not work. I do not want to kill you just yet.” She said and nodded to the warrior. He dropped Clarke heavily on the ground and Lexa saw her wince as her knees slammed into the hard ground. “Now, Lexa. We are going to have a little fun. I want to find out just how weak you are for love.” Echo sneered and Lexa’s heart began to race as Echo drew her dagger and pushed it against Clarkes neck, her other hand holding what Clarke had called a radio.

“What are you going to do?” She asked, getting back to her feet. She kept slight distance, her eyes darting around to look for an option. There were a few warriors surrounding them, but she knew if she could get her sword she would be able to take them down.

“On the other end of this device, I have warriors infiltrated in your camp, Commander. As we speak they are positioning themselves to kill your beloved generals, and then your warriors.” She explained, holding the radio up and shaking it. Lexa clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes slightly.

“I do not believe you.” She said, still cautious. Echo shrugged nonchalant.

“That is your choice, Commander. But why would I bother to lie now?” She said and Lexa glanced down, knowing that she made a point. She looked back up when Echo continued. “I also have on a different – channel - I believe is what Bellamy called it, warriors that are in the Skaikrus camp. They have your little princesses people all huddled together, just WAITING for my command to slaughter them all.” Echo explained, grinning psychotically. “But, I’m not going to make that decision. You are. I’m going to make you a little deal, one which I think you will enjoy.” Lexa felt sick, and her breath hitched. Her eyes found Clarkes and they stared at each other for a moment, two tears trickling out from Clarkes painfully blue eyes.

* * *

 

_“Commander I suggest you don’t-“ Lexa help up a hand to cut her advisor off. Her body felt numb, her shoulder plate heavy. She could feel all the eyes of her advisors on her but her eyes were on the bag that was on the floor in front of her. She could see blood beginning to seep out from the bag and took a few steps forward. Anya reached out and gently touched her arm._

_“Commander, please. You don’t need to look. The queen sent it as a reminder of her power. She wanted information.” Lexa slowly turned to look at her mentor and Anya saw a hollow look in the young leaders eyes._

_“She did this to Costia, because of me?” Lexa stuttered out, her voice raspy from pent up emotion. Anya nodded once, still gripping the girls shoulder. Lexa was 18, in her second year as Commander and this was the first blatant and personal attack against her._

_“Lexa –“ Anya started but Lexa ripped her arm away from Anya’s grip and clenched her jaw._

_“I do not want to hear your lecture Anya. Leave me.” She snapped, addressing all of her advisors. They glanced uncertainly around at each other._

_“But commander, we need to discuss whether or not a coaltion is possible.” Gustus grunted out and Lexa slowly turned her head to face him, her top lip rising in a snarl._

_“Leave, right now.” She hissed, and the advisors bowed their heads and left. Anya remained, standing silently as Lexa collapsed to her knees in front of the bag._

_“Echo tortured her, beat her up and cut off her head – because she knew you cared for her.” Anya explained, her voice calm. “A good leader will always exploit weakness-“ Lexa stood up suddenly, lifting her knife to Anya’s throat with a growl._

_“A good leader? That is the action of what you call a good leader?” She spat, not caring that she was crying. “If that is what is expected of me then I will fail as commander.” She said, pushing Anya back against the table. Anya stared at her calmly. “And what do you classify as a weakness to exploit? Love?” Lexa hissed, and realised as the words left her mouth that she already knew the answer. She had put Costia in that position, because she loved her. Because she cared. Lexas eyes raked over her older mentor and fear blossomed in her stomach and she stepped back from Anya realisation hitting her. All of the people close to her were in danger. Any person that Lexa cared about was in danger. She sheathed her dagger and crouched back down next to the bag that held her lovers head and gently placed her hand on it, swallowing a sob._

_“Lexa. We will burn what we have, and you can mourn.” Anya started._

_“But then I must continue my duties as Commander.” Lexa finished, her voice rasping. She didn’t move from her position on the floor. “I want to continue with the plan to form a coalition, including the ice nation.” She said, her voice low and calm. Anya nodded and left. Lexa stroked the bag once, a sad smile forming and a tear dripping down. “I am sorry Costia. I never intended for you to be harmed for my ignorance. I promise you that I will save our people. You have my heart, my weakness and I will not ever allow myself to be weak again. My people will always come first, no matter what. I will get the peace that you wish.” She muttered, and stayed silent for a moment before standing up and clenching her jaw – wiping any remaining tears off her cheeks. She lifted her head and left the room to discuss the next stage of uniting the clans, her heart heavy and cold._

* * *

 

Echo held the radio to her mouth, her finger lingering on the button.

“It’s now or never Lexa. Your time to choose. Clarke lives, and you will command my warriors to wipe out the entire Skaikru. Your people will not be hurt and my nation will rejoin the alliance. We will hold Commander trials on our return.” She hissed, the knife still held up to Clarkes throat. Desperate tears rolled down Clarkes face as she stared at Lexa. Lexa avoided the sky girls piercing gaze and continued to stare at the ground, grinding her teeth.

“What is the other option?” She asked icily, finally looking up to glare at Echo, still refusing to look at Clarke. Echo grinned.

“Clarke will be left alive and her people will be left alone. Your army and villages will be slaughtered by my warriors, and you will stay alive as Commander of whatever is left behind. You can be certain that word will spread of this little deal, and who was saved.” A loud sob echoed from Clarke as Lexa fell to her knees, digging her fingers into the ground. Any strength that she had left had gone instantly. She knew which option she had to choose, there was no competition. No choice at all. Echo grinned psychotically. “This will define you as our Commander, Lexa. This is no time to be weak. You are known for being ruthless, lets fulfil that.” Echo pulled Clarkes head back and traced the knife along her jugular. “After all, it’s just one girl, and invaders and murderers. You gave me Costia, and she was one of your own people.” Echo said with venom.

“Lexa!” Clarke yelled desperately, pushing the cloth gag out of her mouth and struggling to get away from Echo who pushed the knife against her neck, causing blood to seep out. Lexa remained where she was, her head empty. She couldn’t do this. She was going to destroy the woman she loved, again. Clarke would be alone.  Her mother, Octavia and Bellamy would all be slaughtered, with Clarke left alone. What would happen to her? She would never forgive Lexa for this, despite the lack of choice. By herself, Clarke would be hunted by grounders of every tribe and she could no longer protect her. Lexa blinked slowly and looked up, straight into Clarkes wide blue eyes that streamed with tears. She stared back, unable to speak. There were no words to say. Lexa leant forward to push herself up, but stopped when her hand hit something cold and hard half hidden under the leaves. She dragged her gaze away from Clarke and down at the object, her hand curling around it. She recognized it as the gun that Echo had taken off of Clarke and thrown on the ground. She looked back up at Clarke. She looked at the blonde hair that glowed in the afternoon sun, the blue eyes she had grown to love, the lips that quivered with fear and desperation. The lips that had brought Lexa’s heart back alive. She smiled at Clarke as tears fell down her face and she gripped the handle of the gun as she stood up, lifting it up and pointing it directly at Echo. The clearing froze for a few moments as they all registered what Lexa was holding. Echo snarled, the fear fleeting across her face.

“Put it down Lexa. You and I both know you will not use it.” She snapped, her voice quivering slightly. “It is against our traditions, it is against everything we have trained for and believe!” She shouted desperately. Lexa steadied her shaking hand with her other one and took a sharp breath.

“This time, I choose with both my head and my heart.” She said loudly and squeezed the trigger twice, bracing herself for the recoil. The first bullet missed, but the second one hit Echo solidly in the chest. She dropped the knife and stumbled back slightly, staring at Lexa in shock. Clarke jumped up and slammed her body hard into Echo, knocking the queen to the ground with a loud crack as her head hit a rock. Lexa spun the gun around and fired two more rounds at the two warriors that were running toward her, getting one in the leg and the other in the head. Clarke grabbed the knife from the ground and used it to cut through her bindings and unsheathed Lexa’s sword from Echo.

“Lexa!” She shouted and Lexa turned to face her, shooting at the warrior running up to Clarke from behind. The gun clicked with no ammo and she watched in fear as Clarke spun around, lifting the sword up to deflect the Azgadens strike from his own sword. Lexa could see her injured shoulder jar and nearly dropped the sword and began to run to her, throwing the gun to the side. She tackled the warriors legs before he was able to swing again and knocked him to the ground, grunting from the impact.

“Get him now Clarke!” She yelled and rolled off the body as Clarke brought the sword down through his chest. Lexa picked up his dropped sword and jumped to her feet next to Clarke who spun around. The remaining three warriors glanced at each other in nervousness, their hands gripping their swords tightly. Lexa glanced at Clarke who had her jaw clenched with a determined expression on her face. She held Lexa’s sword with confidence, glancing at the Commander with a small smile. Lexa nodded once and they ran at the three remaining warriors. Lexa took out the two with quick slashes and Clarke fought against the remaining one, taking out his legs and thrusting the sword through his throat. She stared at him as he began drowning in his own blood and stepped back. Lexa grabbed her sword and pulled it out before turning to Clarke. She blonde stood staring at the Azgedan warrior before turning to Lexa. They stared at each other for a moment in shock and realisation.

“Clarke I-“ Lexa started but was interrupted by Clarke throwing her arms around Lexa’s neck in a hug. She sobbed into the commanders shoulder. Lexa slowly lifted her arms up and wrapping them tightly around the shaking sky princess. She buried her face into Clarke’s hair, breathing in deeply to stop herself from crying.

“You did it.” Clarke said, her voice raspy from tears. She pulled back from their embrace, and looked at Lexa, her eyes wet with tears, a smile of relief pulling her lips up. Lexa stared back at her, her eyes taking in this girl that had thrown her completely out of control. Who had broken down every wall she had built, who had made her feel alive again, who let her love again. This strong, beautiful sky girl. Lexa leant forward and kissed Clarke, holding the girl against her. She broke the kiss and leant back just slightly, her nose brushing against Clarkes.

“I did it, because you taught me that love is strength, not weakness, Clarke of the sky people.” She murmured, blushing slightly. Clarke’s smile faded slightly.

“Why can’t we just be one people, Lexa? I am sick of having to choose.” She said, tracing her hand down Lexa’s face, who glanced away.

“It is not that simple Clarke. Our people do not trust each other. You know that.” Lexa sighed, her eyes drinking in the blonde who was still only inches away. Clarke frowned, then a small smile graced her lips, one that Lexa was beginning to notice before she had a thought or idea.

“Well, I guess it’s up to you and me to convince them, Commander. I hear Polis is a place that can change how people think about your people. Is my invitation still valid?” She said, somewhat teasing. Lexa stared at her and grabbed her face gently in her hands and kissed her deeply.

“I love you, Clarke.” She muttered, slightly breathless after breaking the kiss. Clarke searched Lexa’s eyes, seeing only softness and caring.

“Ai hod yu in Leksa.” Clarke replied. Lexa stared at her for a moment with her mouth wide. “I asked Namari to teach me some of your language.” She explained and a wide, genuine smile broke out on Lexa’s face, her eyes lighting up.

“We are going to change the world. You and I.” She said, her voice strong and confident. Clarke smiled back at her and agreed with one single nod. "Now, lets go save our people. This time, together - no matter what."

**Author's Note:**

> I included the translations cause im sure most of you don't speak Trigedasleng lol.


End file.
